5 Bizarre Realities of Being A Man Who Was Raped By A Woman

[thatindianguy]

I figured since I suggested taking the discussion here, http://www.cracked.com/article_21884_5-awful-realities-being-man-who-was-raped-by-woman.html I should get the ball rolling. Thoughts? And please as always, keep this shit civil or get reborn as an actual troll.

P.S Sorry if I screwed up in posting. This is my first time using a forum so I'm not 100% on how everything works.

[sunglasses]

First off, Hi.

Secondly, it irritates me to know end when people try to say it can't happen to a man. It absolutely can.

I think overall the article is well done and presents a good point.

[Marcuse]

Well that just knocked me for six.

Pretty much all of that is spot on, though I haven't personally experienced the political football thing because I've never really spoken openly about it. As a man, you're told that you always want all sex all the time, and if you attempt to argue against that they'll tell you having been raped was "worth it" because you got laid. If you try to discuss the situation surrounding it, they'll tell you that you must have wanted it because you could have stopped it, all you needed to do is be violent enough. In my experience, I wasn't really hamstrung by the fear of prosecution, because I frankly had no idea of the legalities of the situation, but I felt paralysed by an inability to say no as a result of pressure and... well her being willing to do what she wanted to do without regard to what I wanted.

[Jack Road]

I had a friend in college who always said he was raped by a woman, and we just made fun of him. In retrospect all the reasons we mocked him (getting aroused, being able to participate, not fighting her off, having an orgasm) are all not justifiable mockery for women that are raped, so why are they ok for men?

I don't know.

I do know, and will be completely honest about this. If a man tells me he was raped by a woman, my first instinct is to laugh.

That probably makes me a bad person, but I can't deny that first instinct.

Part of me becoming a better person is me recognizing that that is wrong, and trying to understand why that is my reaction, and working to fix it.

[sunglasses]

Part of me becoming a better person is me recognizing that that is wrong, and trying to understand why that is my reaction, and working to fix it.

And that's really huge, Road

Edit here:
The s.o. and I do NOT have the same views on rape. He still disagrees (the last time we had a discussion about it which ended very badly. Voices were raised and I refused to talk to him for a while) that men can be raped. I am unable to have a rational discussion about it. I will always raise my voice and start to yell because it just baffles me that people think men can't be assaulted. I bring up what my bro told me (that he had been assaulted when he was blacking out) and get told that "he just didnt' want to admit to having sex with her."

What? Fucking what?!

Fuck you.

The same people tend to say that anal rape of a man makes you gay because their rational bit of their brain seems to be missing a few wires.

[FaceTheCitizen]

And that's really huge, Road

That's what she said.

[DamianaRaven]

Is Cracked actually not allowing comments for this article, or were there so many that it literally exploded? I hope it's not the former, because that would fucked up. "Sure, men get raped too but no talking about it here."

[thatindianguy]

No they are. I saw the comments ever since the article came up, even though they said it was closed, so I don't know what's up with that.

[EvilerDictator]

They aren't allowing comments, I thought my browser on my phone was broken but it says at the bottom:


"We've disabled the comments section for this particular article. If that really pisses you off, you're probably why."

I have to assume that the comments on the last rape topic got a tad out of hand? (Or based on the comment above me, they may have gotten out of hand on this article and they were deleted)

Anyways I am glad to see an article like that. Its not fair to say that guys cannot be raped because of course they can, there are female predators as well as male ones - and its appalling that television and films seem to make light of it for "jokes".

I can't say I know any men who have been through it but then it is clear that they may have been battered down with the 'but you got laaaaaaaaaid' bollocks and have decided never to mention it. I hope not though, because it's not fair to wish that kind of thing on anyone regardless.

[Kate]

I'm surprised that they ran this. And not all that surprised that the comments are turned off of it.

I'm really glad that they're drawing attention to this, because it is a real problem. And I think it's a problem that is very easy to ignore. I know I've met women who think nothing of pressuring men into sex in ways that would be very...questionable if the genders were reversed, and I think this guy hits the nail on the head. In our culture, we accept (incorrectly) that men always want sex, no matter what, and it's the highest priority to them.

It does a disservice to men, and a disservice to women. And...this all leads to a difficult situation. Anyone who argues that, "if he had an erection, he wanted it," would have to acknowledge that if a female victim was wet, she wanted it. Anyone who argues that "if he came, he wanted it," would have to acknowledge the same for a female. "If he really wanted to, he could have used force," equally applies to female victims, especially female victims with access to weapons or who are orally raped, or female victims who are particularly strong. There is no argument that you can make for why a man can't be raped by a woman that can't be turned around.

And that's uncomfortable.

I wish we had the comments up on this article, but I'm glad we can discuss it here.

[thatindianguy]

Never mind. They are indeed gone now. Anybody know what happened to trigger that, cause last I checked things were still okay.

[sunglasses]

Never mind. They are indeed gone now. Anybody know what happened to trigger that, cause last I checked things were still okay.

We could probably find out if we'd venture into PWOT. But....I'm not going to do so.

Edit: I lied. See link below.

[Tesseracts]

This is the comment I wrote on the article before the comments were removed.

I don't think it's true that gender roles were created by men. Although traditional gender roles clearly favor men, sexism is created and maintained by both men and women. I don't think it's fair or accurate to see one gender as the enemy. That just seems to feed into the notion that men are the doers and women are the people having things done to them. It's not that simple.

Although I agree that discussing male victims shouldn't be considered anti feminist. It's really sad that helping victims of a crime has to be a political battle.

Part of me thinks I'm nitpicking about a minor point in an article about a much bigger issue, but part of me thinks this is important. I think it's important that feminism avoid associating with misandry as much as possible. It's not nice to tell a victim of rape it's men's fault nobody takes his trauma seriously. That's far too close to blaming the victim, even if that's not what's intended. The reasoning is also wrong. In my life, most of the people who have tried to get me to behave in stereotypically female ways are women. Many women will enforce sexism, just as many men will blame male victims of rape. They do not understand (or perhaps care) why their behavior hurts their own self interest. There are many people out there who will not question conformity. For them the point is not the norms they are enforcing so much as it is conformity itself. They want everything where it "should" be.

Anyway. I feel really bad for the subject of this article, as well as Marcuse and anyone else who has suffered from this form of prejudice. I'm glad this article was written because this is clearly a topic more people need to be aware of. It's rather sad that we apparently require political activism in order for people to empathize with those who are taken advantage of.

Some people asked me what some of the worst comments were. I have some of them on my browser still so I'll post them here. Read at your own risk.

Spoiler: show

The MRA shits in the comments don't know whether to praise this man as a hero or complain that #1 said men did something wrong.

10/10 would feast on their tears again

This was rape technically, but it should be fairly obvious why no one takes it seriously.. Even if I said no to a woman and she went ahead and did something, why not just knock her off? Why not scream at her to stop? I am 6'3 and 230 pounds, what's she going to do? She's not going to be able to control me.

I'm trying to not dismiss this, because I realize that it is rape, and it is wrong, but hearing this compared to other stories, it just sounds like you were to drunk and didn't stop her. If you didn't stop her and you were consciously aware of what she was doing, then it wasn't really rape. But I wasn't there, so I don't know how much you're bothered by it. I just have a difficult time seeing how you didn't stop her if you didn't want to have sex. I'd wager 100 out of a 100 woman would be unable to hold me down or physically force me to do anything. If a girl for whatever reason tried to I guess sit on me without consent I'd just tell her to knock it off.

You weren't raped; you were sexually assaulted. Rape is a penetrative act that involves risk to the victim because of the physical damage - anal or vaginal tears - it creates.

I believe your story, and I'm sure it's been emotionally distressing for you, but it wasn't rape. "Rape" and "sexual assault" are closely related terms, but they're not synonymous.

There are a few worse than this, but I think you get the idea.

[Ericthebearjew]

P.S Sorry if I screwed up in posting. This is my first time using a forum so I'm not 100% on how everything works.

Well, there's nothing to it really, just post what's on your mind in the correct area or participate in a forum game. Also, be sure to get mauled by a bear at every opportunity.

[sunglasses]

Here is what Wong said re: comments.

It won't just be this article the comments will be missing from.