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Not CIA Transcripts - Meanwhile, in the future...
By NotCIAAgent | Edited by CarrieVS | 19th March, 2018 | 11:28 pm

The Chrononaut steps out of the time machine to the sound of thunderous applause

Abe: Hello, and be welcome, dear time traveller, to the future! I am your host; please, call me Abe.

Chrononaut: Thanks, Abe. I am filled with joy to see that this dangerous trip has taken me to a safe place. The future looks pristine.

Abe: Indeed, my dear friend. In accordance with the project goals stated since the creation of this device, we will attempt to import technology to the past - that is, your present - in hopes of quickening mankind's development, for the good of us all. Fir--

Chrononaut: Uh... Abe? I... am noticing something a bit... off about the crowd.

Abe: Oh? Well... maybe the current fashion sense looks a bit futuristic to you?

The crowd laughs

Chrononaut: No... not that. Mmmm... how can I put this delicately... you guys look a bit, uh... Aryan?

Abe: Is that so? Well... there is nothing surprising about that, there were people with clear skin, blond hair and blue eyes in your time too.

Chrononaut: No, you don't understand. There's, like, two thousand people here. Everyone is Aryan.

Uneasy murmurs spread amongst the crowd

Abe: Well, don't mind such minor details. The greatest scientists, doctors, and journalists - even Nobel Prize winners are here, just to welcome you! Please, just allow us the pleas--

Chrononaut: There are no women either. Not a single one.

Abe: ... why would there be women here?

Chrononaut: ...

Abe: ...

Chrononaut: Over two thousand people... all of them white... and not a single woman?

Abe: It is a very important ceremony! The space is limited, we can't just bring our wives and daughters. They are probably watching it from their televisions anyway. Don't tell me, you expected female scientists or something crazy like that. What is next, homosexual scientists?

The crowd laughs

Chrononaut: That is it! Something must have gone very, very wrong in the course of history for such a travesty of a future to happen. And I swear, I am going to dedicate my entire life to stopping it! Goodbye for good, you racists, homophobes and sexists!

The Chrononaut climbs back into the time machine

Abe: No, please! We have discovered so many cures, created so many technological wonders. We've ended world hunger! Please, don't go, we can accomplish so much toge--

With a huge flash, the Chrononaut disappears to return to his own time. The crowd is outraged, and Abe shakes his head. His aide approaches him

Aide: Brother Abdullah, I read on the registers that the Kafir were barbaric and prejudiced, caring about nothing other than the exterior. But my expectations were far surpassed, now seeing it in the flesh.

Abe: Indeed, brother Suleiman. Indeed. What a gigantic shame. We must hope and pray that they will see the way with time.

Tags: Humour 8

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