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5 Odd Bits of Gameplay Logic in Fallout
By Deathclaw_Puncher | Edited by Learned Nand | 9th March, 2018 | 7:44 pm | Deathclaw Puncher's Quarry Junction Quasms

Deathclaw Puncher's Quarry Junction Quasms
As the average Fallout game has multiple paths and endings possible to play through, you might expect some amount of separation between the gameplay and the story. These inconsistencies are usually considered an acceptable break from reality, but there sure are some mind boggling instances of whatthefuckery.


For example, what's so special about a mutated mantis shrimp that it can survive a nuke to the face? Fuck you, Bethesda!

Here some of the weirdest instances of video game logic from the Fallout Series:

#5: The Enclave Are a Bunch of Irradiated Hypocrites

So, say you're traipsing alongside a nearly intact highway overpass or blasting your way through a nest of Capital Wasteland Mirelurks with a Zetan drone cannon (the most glorious of energy weapons), singing along to some Cole Porter or Roy Brown, when all of a sudden, these assholes show up:



As you are fighting them off to get to their sweet stashes of stimpaks and ammo, you can't help but notice that some of the Enclave Officers aren't wearing the Enclave T-51 MK II power armor. And then, after looting some armor off a dead soldier, you put it on via the pipboy, which reveals that, along with the helmet, the power armor resists only 20 rads.

The thing is, a big part of the Enclave's plot in Fallout 2 has to do with the fact that they consider any humans who have had any exposure to radiation to be impure. Sure, they could use a lot of Rad-away and Rad-x; but wouldn't the fact that they had to administer such a treatment prove that they were exposed to radiation in the first place? The cannibal perk in New Vegas reveals that the average person has absorbed at least 3 rads just from existing in the wastelands of the former United States.

So, these people are wandering about the Capital Wasteland, constantly emanating 3 rads per second, while resisting only 1-2 grays of radiation, and meanwhile, they're trying kill off who has been exposed to radiation. Ideally, you don't even need Broken Steel to completely wipe them out. In the aftermath of an evil karma Enclave-sympathetic Lone Wanderer playthrough, the Enclave should be in for quite the surprise. And all because they were all too arrogant to pay attention to a geiger counter.


Green text! My one weakness!

#4: Arcade Gannon Will Follow You Across the Mojave Just Because You Hit on Him.

In New Vegas, you get to decide your Courier's sexuality as a character perk. You can make them gay, straight, or bi, and unlock special bits of dialogue with certain characters. One such character is Arcade Israel Gannon, the badass gay Mormon researcher and former member of the Enclave, voiced by Flynn Rider from Tangled.


But with only the smallest fraction of the charisma

If you haven't helped out the Legion by the point where you speak with him at the Old Mormon Fort, you can recruit him with a high level speech check, a low intelligence check, or, if your courier is male,the confirmed bachelor perk.

Granted, it's undoubtedly hard to be a sexual minority in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, but this is New Vegas. Half of the Mojave is populated by gay men. There's Manny Vargas, the Legion, Major Knight, the Legion, Carlyle St. CLair III, the Legion, Dr. Alex Richards, and the Legion. Okay, Arcade's obviously not going to get with the legion, but you get my point.

Then again, we are talking about a man who has so much sexual prowess, that he can convince the Legate Lanius to get the fuck out of the Mojave just by wearing some leopard print pajamas. So maybe he's on to something.

#3: The Legion Bans Stimpaks, Uses Hydra

By order of Caesar, the consumption of drugs and alcohol is banned in Legion territory. This drug ban includes stimpaks, the Fallout universe's potion analogue. And yet, you'll find a similar item on many a Legionnaire: a drug called hydra. And yes, hydra is a drug. I guess no powder or herb can mend a broken bone, but shouldn't they be using Doctor's bags? They're essentially trading one addictive substance for another, risking a death sentence the moment their inebriation becomes publicly noticeable.


By order of Caesar, it's okay when we do it.

#2: The Most Apathetic Gang in New California

In Fallout 2, one of the first locations the Chosen One travels to is a small Oregon town called The Den, where the Slaver's Guild is headquartered. In order to get the aid of Vic, an Old World artifact dealer and possible companion, you have to pay the head of the Slaver's Guild 1000 caps. Or, if you're female, you can sleep with him and get a reduced price of 500 caps. You can obtain most of the necessary caps by working for Lara. Lara is a gang leader who wants to fight Tyler, another gang leader, for the privilege of guarding the guild leader. She has you scope out the cargo the guild has stashed in an Old World church they established as their base, find out their weaknesses, and lead an assault. You can complete this mission via by destroying their entire gang or, if that sounds like too much work, by killing just a single guard.


More specifically, the guy on the left.

No, really, all you have to do to complete the quest is kill one random guard. Lara's gang kills the guard, movies in, and the opposing gang just rolls with it. To completely wipe out the rest of the gang, you have to start a fight yourself, and there's nothing signifying that you've completed the quest (it's not over until you talk to Lara). It'd be like if the US defeated ISIS by just killing one single no-name militant, or if Commander Shepard defeated the Reapers by just shooting a random Husk. This is the Den's Criminal Underworld, people!


Tis truly a hive of scum and villainy!

#1: The Followers Will Just Make Freeside a Worse Place


The Mojave chapter of The Followers of the Apocalypse, a postwar remnant of the Mormon Church, yearns for an independent Vegas, free of influence by the NCR, the Legion, or Mr. House. Their base, the Old Mormon Fort, is located in the town of Freeside, an impoverished urban hellhole lying under the control of a gang of Elvis impersonators known as the Kings. Despite their wishes for independence, the end narration reveals that an independent Vegas leaves Freeside in an even worse state. It becomes too much for the Followers to handle, while it flourishes under the control of the NCR. So, the Mojave chapter of the Followers are essentially just a bunch of naive anarchists that fail to actual deliver on their promises and ideals.


So, basically, they're like the people who post shit like this, but with magic underwear and energy weapons.

Tags: Games, Fallout 9

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