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The 3 Most Insane Things To Stem From "Dem Feels"
By Deathclaw_Puncher | 19th June, 2013 | 2:19 am | ETBJ's Incoherent Ramblings


The 3 Most Insane Things To Stem From "Dem Feels"

Whether they're brilliant, average, or mind-numbingly stupid, we all have ideas. Such ideas can lead to variety of things--from science and philosophy to Florida.
A magical place where the average thought is this.

However, with thought comes aesthetic: emotional appeal towards the human consciousness that shapes our tastes and opinions. Unfortunately, aesthetics can go overboard and spring up the strangest trains of thought since the one that led to the creation of the Manneken Pis.
Seriously, what the fuck?

Somewhere along the line, those misconstrued aesthetics can lead to these balls of mindfuckery:

3. Theistic mistranslations

A lot of people tend to believe in one or more deities. Thus, those people would naturally develop some sort of spiritual aesthetic. Of course, there are those who take such spiritual connections a little bit too far. You ever get the urge to just go for a stroll on a nice sunny day? One family from Charlotte, North Carolina got just that, with one small thing out of the ordinary, they went strolling naked.
Or as I call it, Tuesday.

When questioned by police, the family claimed that God told them to strip naked and walk down the street. Both the mother and grandmother were tested, and were found to have no mental issues. There have also been cases where God apparently wished for a woman to get a speeding ticket, for a toddler to be kidnapped, and for a woman to commit arson.
I guess even omnipotent beings need to entertain themselves

2: A multitude of strange diets

One thing human aesthetics tend to influence is diet. While concern about one's weight tends to be the main reason to adhere to a particular diet, it can also be influenced by personal values, a superiority complex, or the desire to have one's blood have the same consistency as fruit juice.
Who knew fruitarianism could be this moe?

But what the hell led people to come up with diets such as the cabbage soup diet, where one is supposed to primarily consume an extremely high-sodium cabbage soup mix over the course of seven days, the last chance diet, where people consume nothing but a 400 calorie drink, or the breatharian diet, where one eats absolutely nothing (except when no one's looking, of course)?
No dude, I can so totally photosynthesize!

1. Dolphin midwives

If there ever were two things that didn't go together, they'd have to be newborns and large bodies of water. However, there are those who seem to be unable to get that basic fact through their empty heads. Here's basically how it is (note: possibly NSFW):
Spoiler: show

That's right, the newborn infant is born at least four feet underwater and brought to the surface by a dolphin that probably thinks that the baby is a fish. Dolphin midwife advocates claim that not only are dolphins naturally drawn to pregnant human females, but also that the children who are born this way grow up to be superior beings with IQs of 150.
I make you smarticles!

Human beings may be emotional creatures, but really, what's with the completely off-the-wall conclusions? What exactly is it that makes sane people take the weather as a sign to go naked in public or forget that human beings need food to survive? Perhaps one of humanity's greatest flaws is that we read too much into things.

Especially this.

Tags: Bizarre, Florida, Short 27

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