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6 of the Most Expensive Things Ever Wrecked On Purpose
By Typical Michael | 16th June, 2013 | 3:04 am | Typical Nonsense


6 of the Most Expensive Things Ever Wrecked On Purpose

Have you ever dropped your phone into a glass of delicious sweet tea? Have you ever accidentally punched your computer monitor? I know I have. It sucks. But then, you brush yourself off, and move on with your life. Eat a pint of ice cream. You'll feel better. Smash a clown. Just smash a friggin' clown. This is therapy.

Sometimes though, things get destroyed. Just blown right up, or down, or side to side. And it is on purpose. Really expensive things. Things you would never be able to afford in a million years. Can you believe it? Well, soon, you will.

#6 - The Bartman Ball

I want you to take yourself back. Way back. To a kindler, gentler, simpler time. Let us call it "2004", because it was 2004.

The Chicago Cubs had not won a World Series since 1945, but people still loved them. In the 2004 World Series, the Cubbies were going up against the Florida Marlins, and were leading 3-0. Then, a ball most foul. Some fan, one Steve Bartman, reached out for a foul ball, caught it, and it was counted as an out. The Cubs would go to lose their chance at the World Series, (because they screwed up the next game real bad) and Steve Bartman was vilified forever.


Some time later, Grant DePorter, some big city lawyer, bought that very ball at auction for $113,824. His intention? To blow that shit up.

Michael Lantieri, known for his special effects work, blew that bastard of a ball sky high. He even made sure to practice, by blowing up over a dozen baseballs a day, just to make sure he got it right. If you are going to blow up a ball worth over $100,000, you make sure you've got that shit locked down.

This is one of my favorite parts, though:

Then comes the final reckoning. Among thousands of fan suggestions for the act: having NASA put the ball into orbit, dropping it off the Sears Tower and having Chicago native Bill Murray, in "Ghostbusters" gear, obliterate it.

We missed out on Bill Murray blowing shit up. That is a shame.


#5 - Hudson Department Store

You have all heard of Macy's, I'm sure. But have you heard of Hudson's? Maybe not.

Hudson's was started in 1881, by Joseph Lowthian Hudson, in Detroit. It was meant to be a clothing store for men and boys, but ended up being much, much more than that. It was the center of Detroit, and until 1961, it was worlds tallest department building. In 1954, Hudson’s had sales of more than $163 million (an astronomical $1.28 billion today). The company was a monster. Hudson's got into the car industry, and was ranked only behind companies like Chevy and Ford, and even held the Detroit Thanksgiving Day Parade. Hudson's was Macy's, but wasn't Macy's. Hudson's waged a long rivalry with Macy's, simply by not being Macy's, but almost.


The 70's were a harsh time, and there was an economic downturn, and Hudson's was not spared.

In 1998, Hudson's Department Store in Detroit became the tallest explosively demolished building ever. Awesome.


#4. - Tuscan Wine

Wine seems to be pretty important. I really do not know much about wine. I will admit it. If I am going to drink, I want it to be clear, and in a plastic bottle. But some people, I guess, still have feeling in their tongues. Weird, right?

In late 2012, hooligans broke into a winery in Italy and just dumped all of it. 62,000 liters of ALL the wine. That equals out to be over $17 million in fermented grape juice. I am not really big on wine; the first time I had wine, it tasted like a ham sandwich. However, I am not dumb enough to not realize that $17 million dollars is a lot of money. And some jerks just sent it down the drain. I cannot stand wasting booze.


#3 - Corridart

Back in 1976, The Summer Olympic Games were held in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Olympic hosts always want to make cool stuff, in order to please the tourists, and put the city on the map. Well, Canada had the awesome idea of Corridart. It started out awesome. It was to tell about the history and culture of Montreal. What could go wrong?

Jean Drapeau went wrong. He had it all torn down, two days before the start of the games, at a cost of $1.5 million dollars. The legal battles went on for over 10 years, and the artists saw very little pay.


#2 - USA-193

A lot of crap goes on in SPAAAAAAACE, and the average person does not even know. This is one of those times.

On December 14th, 2006, USA-193 was launched. I am sure some people clapped. It was a spy satellite, so that is already some shady shit.

On February 21. 2008, it was blown out of the friggin' sky. By a missile sent from the USS Lake Erie. That is pretty awesome. But, the missile that shot it down cost about 9 million dollars. The whole project looks to have cost taxpayers at least 50 million dollars. It was officially destroyed because of its decaying orbit, and also because of the chemicals on board, which included hydrazine and beryllium. That sounds fun.

There has been a lot of controversy over this, even though you have probably never even heard about it. Check it out:

#1 - German Fleet, post WWI

On November 11th, 1918, Germany surrendered. They weren't all that happy about it, but such is war. There were A LOT of ships to deal with. If you were Germany, what would you do? Sell them? Eh, too bad. You aren't, and weren't, Germany.

A long story short, the German Navy was pissed. Just like "Order 66", they issued the order "Paragraph eleven. Confirm.". That was the order which meant "sink your shit, immediately".

Over 400,000 tons of modern warships were sunk, the largest loss of shipping in a single day in history.

I don't know how to calculate that in modern day dollars...but that is a lot of dollars.

Michael is forever in your hearts. You can find him on Facebook here. If you love him uncontrollably, share this article forever and ever.

Tags: Destruction, History 38

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