So, I've been reading r/darkjokes. The mods seem to be actively trying to destroy the sub, and even among the top posts, it seems like half the posters don't understand the difference between "dark humor" and "shock value." Still, I found a lot of gems: jokes that made me laugh and feel horrifically guilty at the same time. As such, I need to share both experiences with y'all. I was going to make one post, but I collected literally dozens of jokes, so I'll break it into multiple posts, probably three.
Her: Come over.
Me: I can’t. I’m about to be arrested for double homicide.
Her: Haha. My parents aren’t home.
Me: Yeah, about that...
One day Usain Bolt goes to a country club.
When he enters, the woman at the front desk stops him, and says, "Sorry, we don't allow blacks in here. But there's another club 10 minutes down the road that does."
Visibly furious, Bolt exclaims, "Do you know who I am? I'm Usain Bolt!"
"Oh! I'm sorry," says the woman. "Then it's only 5 minutes down the road."