by Pedgerow » Wed Jul 03, 2019 1:24 am
The Women's World Cup has been on for the past couple of weeks, and there are still a few matches left if anyone wants to check it out and hasn't yet. It's absolutely outstanding. Having just watched England face the USA in the first semi-final, I have never been so proud of a losing team in my life. They gave it their all, in a way that I have never seen the England men do, ever. Of course, they lost, so bummer if you're English and would suddenly like to watch it, but there's always the third-place playoff on Saturday. And besides, most of you are American, so your team is still in it, you bastards.
The USA are the favourites to take the trophy, too, which is probably very nice if you don't hate them as I do. They really come across as being like the bad guys in a teenage comedy; they're all popular cheerleaders, beloved by all the kids in school (but despised by everyone watching the film; isn't that weird?). So my hatred for the USA women's football team is intense, but all the other teams are nice enough people.
Also, now that we're in the last stages of the tournament, the comedy results have stopped happening. Women's football is still pretty niche, and there aren't enough good teams to host a full World Cup with all good teams. This year's unfortunate victims were Thailand, who you might have heard were thumped 13-0 by the wicked Americans, but past World Cups have also featured such inexplicable non-powerhouses as Sierra Leone, Ecuador (beaten 6-0 and then 10-0 in 2015), and Equatorial Guinea. But that's not to say the Women's World Cup is always won by the usual suspects: if you're sick of the same men's teams winning all the time, it's honestly very refreshing to see that Argentina are ranked 50th in the world while Norway and Japan are two of the greatest teams on Earth.
In my experience, England stop winning once the public at large starts showing an interest in women's football, so by all means don't watch it if you don't want to. But now that England are going to finish either third or fourth, instead of eternal glorious #1, this is the time to get involved if you don't want to wait four years for the next tournament. And you will have to wait: I've tried watching women's league football, which happens every year, and it's just not the same. There's a limit to just how contrarian I can be with my sporting tastes, and this is clearly it.