The first trailer for the last movie before Avengers 4 -- and the first female-led MCU flick -- was released today! I've been hyped for this since it was announced, so let's look at it.
It's a lot vaguer and less action-packed than previous MCU trailers, more like an extended teaser than anything, but I like the sense of mystery around the core premise (and there's probably still a lot of effects work that needs tightening up before they can show off anything further). Brie Larson seems solid what what's shown off, the suit looks good in all its visible variations, and 90s era Nick Fury is simply wonderful. The fact that I'm even hyped by the two-second glimpse of Ronan the Accuser, the second-blandest villain in the MCU, speaks volumes for how much confidence I have in Marvel at this point.
And the old woman on the subway is no doubt a Skrull, but I kind of really hope Carol just decks a random woman in the fucking face thinking she was a Skrull.
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"Your mind is software. Program it. Your body is a shell. Change it. Death is a disease. Cure it." - Eclipse Phase
To put it spoiler-free: I liked it. Setup has the Guardians of the Galaxy problem of throwing a LOT at you, sometimes the exposition gets clunky and I don't think it makes sense if you think about it. Welcome to the movie about the flying lady who shoots sunbeams. Once it's all set up though it's a quite good ride that I enjoyed more than Ant-Man and Doctor Strange, but it does come after Infinity War for me since I haven't watched Ant-Man and the Wasp, and that isn't a contest. It's not outstandingly clever in plot, nor deep, not going beyond a general 'girl power' message (with a few song choices that honestly drive the point home a bit too hard), the visuals aren't outstanding compared to Doctor Strange or even Ant-Man, and her costume still looks like Captain America got sprayed with fluorescent paint, but I had a good time.
I have to say I did enjoy a superhero movie, particularly an orgin movie, where the main hero is a POWERHOUSE who isn't really physically matched by any of the antagonists. Danvers spends pretty much the entire climax punching every antagonist aside like paper dolls. I'm sure some people won't enjoy that choice but I did. Not as clever as Doctor Strange's handling of Dormammu, but it beats a climax against a villain who has the same powers as the hero, since Captain Marvel's powerset is mostly limited to straight-up fighting (unlike Ant-Man, who could at least play with size).
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If there be here lesson or moral, it lies beyond the competence of him who wrote this post. (Jack Vance, Emphyrio)
I have to say I did enjoy a superhero movie, particularly an orgin movie, where the main hero is a POWERHOUSE who isn't really physically matched by any of the antagonists. Danvers spends pretty much the entire climax punching every antagonist aside like paper dolls. I'm sure some people won't enjoy that choice but I did. Not as clever as Doctor Strange's handling of Dormammu, but it beats a climax against a villain who has the same powers as the hero, since Captain Marvel's powerset is mostly limited to straight-up fighting (unlike Ant-Man, who could at least play with size).
Well, she can canonically lift up to 70 tons. That's seven times the strength of Spiderman, 20 times the strength of Captain America, and 70% the strength of the Iron man suit. And yet somehow, Carol Danvers is still the Zoidberg of the Avengers in regards to social dynamics. *shudders at the memory of Avengers #200*.
So I went through a Back to the Future marathon again last week so my expectation for excitement would arguably be raised for Captain Marvel but since then I’ve seen He’s Out There, that sequel to The Strangers and Green Book, all of which are fine but not very memorable. I think this is the best movie I’ve seen at cinemas so far this year but Alita had better action and as far as superhero properties, this doesn’t beat Umbrella Academy but arbitrary rankings aside, this piece of historical fiction is a Marvel movie with space in it so it checks the entertaining box by default at this point.
The Good
That Marvel logo. And I thought the Spiderverse tribute got me.
Goose. Can every cat in the universe do that? If so, I finally understand cat people. His big moment was very reminiscent of Groot’s big moment.
There were some great visual gags, mostly Skrull and 90s related. Even the Kree’s hologram was very Powerpoint in as far as it changes slides.
There has never been a more relatable moment than Carol two-finger typing.
I was afraid of originitis but Carol’s backstory was told in a very cool way, what with the mind-control and mystery and what-not.
Carol taking the clothes and motorcycle upon landing has to be a T2 reference, right? Because she had just shot Little Cardboard Arnie so I thought it was a fun 90s homage. But then it turns out the baddies are actually the goodies this time so it was actually clever foreshadowing. Or have I drank too much?
Captain Marvel punching that old woman in the face is funny until you realise she’s been instigating fights with the good guys the whole time. Then it’s hilarious.
Marvel continue to be the kings of hallway fights, even on crashing spaceships. I was curious why so many Skrulls were just letting their captive fight but determined they needed her for information. Which they did but it also turns out they’re not the quick-to-violence-against-innocent types.
I hope Fury is revived more than ever so we can one day see his kids call him Fury.
“I am laughing. On the inside.” Korath needs to get more screen time. This wasn’t quite on the level of him arguing with Starlord about his alleged fame but just show up more, man.
“The orbit. You didn’t think of that? You’re my science guy!”
"Why would I be a filing cabinet?"
“You let me play with tape when you could…” [rest of quote incoherent over laughter but that just means we got it]
“I could have sworn I put it in there.” I feel like Carol would get on with Quill.
“There’s a reason they call it the cockpit.”
Sam "Mother flerkin'" Jackson.
The Bad
We have to wait seven weeks to see Captain Marvel kick Thanos’ ass.
I wasn’t left wanting but this had the Black Panther problem when it comes to action, in that there are a couple of great fight scenes, especially the escape scenes that more or less bookend the movie but in between, there’s just a few sporadic, relatively forgettable action moments.
It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye. I had that note written in my head halfway through the movie but it turns out that scene is also fun and games. Look, I didn’t hate it, especially the myth he spreads later, but Hot Tub Time Machine did it better and I was hoping for more fakeouts. Still, he wasn't technically wrong when he said "Last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye."
That scene in the middle was very Hawkeye’s Farm from Ultron but I’ll give it a pass because there’s enough twists and plot developments to keep it interesting.
Nobody called Sammy J “Nick Furry” after all that heavy petting.
The nontroversy. Both sides are stupid. If the movie's good, who gives a shit about anything else?
Goose is super dead, right? Because there’s no felintestines on the tesseract last time we saw it. Actually that litterbox would be fucking disgusting. But upon Googling, the last credits scene (which I missed because impatient friends) has him throwing it up but I have to flesh this section out so I’m keeping it in. Fact-checking is for pros.
Refusing to fight without weapons after someone throws theirs down is poor sportsmanship in movie rules. But I guess he only initiated that because he knew he’d lose so…
And let the Who Is That Skrull Family Now rumours begin. The Hawkeyes? I mean, his kids haven’t aged in 20 years so I feel that would be a giveaway. The Draxes? His family was killed by the Kree but I doubt it. It really doesn’t matter now that we know most Skrulls are nice in the MCU so they won’t be Hydra-style machiavillains.
“I’ve had nightmares better than this.” Wow, I wouldn’t have thought someone called Black Widow would have to be told to check their privilege. Half the universe being wiped out is worse than something you could have imagined? Colour me shocked.
The Ugly
How I originally introduced this review before determining it was uglier both physically and in quality than anything in the movie. You've been warned. Twice.
How I originally introduced this review
Now, this is a story all about how Her life got flipped-turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Maybe more than a few I'll tell you how she became the latest hero in the MCU. In Planet C-53 born and raised Building sandcastles was where she spent most of her days Chillin', Air-Forcin’, flyin' all cool And go kart racing and playing some pool When a couple of Kree who were up to no good Started making trouble in her neighborhood She got in one little flight and her mentor got dead Kree said “You're movin’ with your new species in Hala.” She’s tortured for memories that came out in a cluster The Skrull plane crashed home and she fell through a Blockbuster If anything I would say that the 90s were over But I thought “Nah, know what? – I got dial-up nostalgia!” Feds pulled up to the shop, about seven or eight And she yelled to Nick Fury “Yo, you a shapeshifter?” He looked at Carol Danvers She was finally there As Captain Marvel. Is she hero or drifter?
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I know it is lame to love this movie, but I did. No it's okay to like this movie but it's tasteless or whatever to love it. I don't care, I did. It's not my favorite Marvel movie, nor is it the best Marvel movie by any stretch (pretty good for an origin though). But it was fun! The humor was good. The chemistry between actors was good. And the part of me that was a little girl in the 90s and a high schooler in a school with a very large JROTC program felt "seen" as the kids say these days.
Wait is that what the kids say these days? I don't even know. I'm old, guys.
I like the female superheroes. Do I think they're necessary? No, but it's good to have some variety. And it's difficult to capture that "women can vote and work and technically have all the rights men do but still have vague difficulties and face prejudice specific to their gender that can be hard to define and while this isn't comparable to what some women go through now in other countries it still presents its own unique set of hurdles that are mildly annoying and worth mentioning" thing we have going on without sounding preachy and while the girl power could be a little heavy handed at times, it is forgivable to me largely because her big battles came down to her spirit and spunk centering around her humanity/personality and not her vagina.
There were a lot of fridge logic things that bugged me, a lot of moments where I said "okay I get it she's a girl" but the same is true of Legally Blond and that is one of my favorite movies and I think without the context of the controversy and the fact that "female lead" is politicized on both sides of this weird spectrum of culture warriors, I wouldn't think twice about it.