Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears eyes! I...uh...need them. For something. Nothing bad or anything, seriously. I mean it, don't go.
This didn't work out how I expected. I had all these jokes, and plans, and that was what I lead with? Jeez. I suck at writing...
But YOU don't! That's it, you should totally write things for the site, otherwise we'll have nothing to publish! Great plan. Glad you agree. It's settled then. You're all going to write things for the site and it'll be awesome. Trebles all round.