Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

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Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby Lindvaettr » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:10 pm

Oregon, one of two states of the United States to protect their populace from gas station transients by banning people from personally pumping gas has finally given in to transient lobbying efforts to recklessly allow Oregonians to pump their own gas.

Oregonians, known for their belief in Bigfoot and their controversially waxed mustaches, have gone into full on panic mode, claiming to fear for their children's safety in the car while their parents perform a simple task immediately on the other side of the window, and expressing their belief that only highly trained, extensively experienced 16 year olds should have the dangerous task of putting a gas nozzle into a gas tank and pushing a button.

What does the TCS community think about this sudden and dramatic twist, sure to send Oregon spinning into a downward spiral of gas station murder and child suffocation?
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby sunglasses » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:25 pm

I think the posts I saw on Facebook are hilarious.

I'm baffled that so many Oregonians were flummoxed at the idea of pumping their own gas. I did have an attendant pump mine in NJ (another state that mandates it) and I mean, it was nice and all, but I don't mind pumping my own. I dislike having to hand my card to an attendant.
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby DamianaRaven » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:33 pm

Did they really outlaw self-serve to keep "transients" from pumping people's gas?
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby Lindvaettr » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:45 pm

DamianaRaven wrote:Did they really outlaw self-serve to keep "transients" from pumping people's gas?


No, but someone tweeted, "getting out of your car with transients around and not feeling safe too", so I assume transients are just lousy in Oregon gas stations, just waiting for some poor driver to get distracted trying to discern the convoluted operations of gas pump so they can mug them and steal their jackets.
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby Absentia » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:50 pm

Don't these people ever drive out of state? I would think that if they had experienced pumping their own gas even once they would realize that it's the simplest task in the world. If you don't have the wherewithal to pump gas you certainly don't have any business operating a car.
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby ghijkmnop » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:53 pm

I'll be shocked If there are more transients in Portland OR than there are here in Albuquerque.
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby sunglasses » Thu Jan 04, 2018 6:00 pm

Here's a more serious post from Forbes stating why such bottlenecking regs existed in the first place.

There are many articles that have collected some of the more amusing reactions to the KTVL facebook post regarding the gas pumping conundrum.

Personal favorite:

One time, my dad came to Oregon and pumped his own gas. The street immediately lit on fire and he caused massive recession countrywide because he took away 20 billion jobs by pumping his own gas. I was in the back seat when brother was nabbed through the locked door by a transient creeper who raised him to be his human ottoman. My dad then tried wiping his windshield but the stuff he used turned out to be sulfuric acid. The car exploded with me in it and I died. My dad lost 3 parenting points because he was 2 feet away fueling his car when he could have had someone else do this very simple task for him.


Edit: another personal fav from the KTVL facebook post

Apparently most people in Oregon assume that in order to pump gas you must first remove all people from the vehicle and stand in the open while thugs attack from all angles, all while being sprayed with gas
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby Absentia » Thu Jan 04, 2018 6:28 pm

Yeah those licensing regulations drive me nuts. Especially because politicians who talk about "deregulation" are never interested in protecting small businesses from the rent-seekers, they just want to let big corporations pollute and monkey with the financial system.
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby DamianaRaven » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:13 pm

Here in DFW, I think I'd be hard-pressed to find a full-service gas station. Granted, I haven't really looked for one, but... *checks* Yep, there's ONE on Inwood Rd in Dallas, and one of the reviews actually calls the place a "novelty" for being one of the last full-service stations in the area.

Mandating full service for everyone kind of blows my mind. Anyone who can't be trusted to pump their own gas should probably NOT be trusted to navigate a cage of steel and glass at bone-crushing speeds!
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby jbobsully11 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:24 pm

*chants* NJ! NJ! NJ! NJ! *gags from the thought of cheering for almost anything about this state*

Absentia wrote:Don't these people ever drive out of state? I would think that if they had experienced pumping their own gas even once they would realize that it's the simplest task in the world. If you don't have the wherewithal to pump gas you certainly don't have any business operating a car.

Actually, my mom tried pumping her own gas years ago, and I'm not sure exactly how, but supposedly it was a disaster. Personally, I have no problem with it.

DamianaRaven wrote:Mandating full service for everyone kind of blows my mind. Anyone who can't be trusted to pump their own gas should probably NOT be trusted to navigate a cage of steel and glass at bone-crushing speeds!

*continues alternately chanting and gagging*
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby Lindvaettr » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:29 pm

jbobsully11 wrote:Actually, my mom tried pumping her own gas years ago, and I'm not sure exactly how, but supposedly it was a disaster. Personally, I have no problem with it.


And now we know where all those videos of people driving off with the gas hose still attached to their car come from.
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby DamianaRaven » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:41 pm

Justin used to work at a 7-11 back in college and said they'd get a hose-jerker about once a week. They're made to just snap right off without seriously damaging the pump, but it's still a pain in the ass to have to climb up and reattach it. Most of the time, people would stop immediately and jump out full of apologies and terror - not everyone realizes they didn't just do thousands of dollars worth of damage. Only once did some guy (who was drunk and driving one of those very loud jalopies) just keep driving. Two hours later, the cops brought the hose back, but it was all torn up and useless. They can handle being jerked out of the pump, but not being dragged down a road for any length of time.
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby Kate » Thu Jan 04, 2018 8:04 pm

I mean, if there's so much demand for it, surely some gas stations will choose to keep attendants. Also, pretty much any gas station that has someone in attendance has a way for you to signal that you are handicapped and need someone to pump your gas for you if you are really that worried about it. It'd be a little crummy to do but if you're really that concerned about being shanked...

Honestly, I hate driving through Jersey for this reason. I don't like handing over my card, I don't like tipping people for something I could do myself for free with no difficulty but obviously I'm not going to not tip them, the prices are higher, and it's just one more awkward interaction that I don't need to have.
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby sunglasses » Thu Jan 04, 2018 8:06 pm

I did not realize I was supposed to tip them.


This explains so many things.
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Re: Portland Populace Panics Per Prospect of Pumping Petrol

Postby Kate » Thu Jan 04, 2018 8:11 pm

I only know because I grew up with a lot of family in Jersey and my mom lived there for a bit. I think probably most people from states without full service are unaware that it's customary to tip your attendant. They should really make signs or something.
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