5 Reasons The Muppets Caused 9/11

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5 Reasons The Muppets Caused 9/11

Postby Irishjava » Wed Oct 14, 2015 2:43 pm

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-m ... aused-911/

This article is absolutely worth the read. For every 100 articles I skip over, I occasionally glimpse what kept me coming to Cracked in the first place, and what still makes me hopefully check it every few days. That is, serious investigative journalism that BLOWS THE FUCKING LID off of "The Rainbow Connection" once and for all (seriously, the epilogue is one of the most enjoyable things I've seen on that site in a while).
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Re: 5 Reasons The Muppets Caused 9/11

Postby BROWNRECLUSE » Wed Oct 14, 2015 3:03 pm

I don't think I've laughed that hard at an article on Cracked in a long time.

Just when you get tired of Cracked for all the Wong reasons, an article like this comes along and soothes the pain for a while.
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Re: 5 Reasons The Muppets Caused 9/11

Postby sunglasses » Wed Oct 14, 2015 4:30 pm

Now I've got the Rainbow Connection stuck in my damn head.
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Re: 5 Reasons The Muppets Caused 9/11

Postby BROWNRECLUSE » Wed Oct 14, 2015 4:34 pm

I wonder if there'll be a Muppets themed Allahu Akbar Vine compilation now.

I'm on a watchlist now for typing that, aren't I?
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Re: 5 Reasons The Muppets Caused 9/11

Postby El Saico » Wed Oct 14, 2015 7:21 pm

This is not only one of the best things to come out of Cracked in recent times, but also a hell of a spoof of many mainstream conspiracy theories that have around as much logic involved.
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The path to wisdom does, in fact, begin with a single step.

Where people go wrong is in ignoring all the thousand other steps that come after it. They make the single step of deciding to become one with the universe, and for some reason forget to take the logical next step of living for 70 years on a mountain and a daily bowl of rice and yak-butter tea that'd give it any kind of meaning. While evidence says that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, they’re probably all first steps.
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Re: 5 Reasons The Muppets Caused 9/11

Postby Paradox » Wed Oct 14, 2015 7:47 pm

#4. Bert Was A Prominent Pro-Osama Bin Laden Symbol

Just saying.
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Re: 5 Reasons The Muppets Caused 9/11

Postby Irishjava » Wed Oct 14, 2015 7:53 pm

I think portraying the Editor-In-Chief as some sort of eccentric badass is the unifying trope for all the best Cracked content. Exhibit A: "Agents of Cracked". Exhibit B:

Spoiler: show
Sufficiently frenzied, I mustered the unflinching go-getter-ness needed to enter the techno-modern corner office of Editor-In-Chief Jack O'Brien. It was blind luck that my haste interrupted his jogo do pau cooldown and not some important business call, saving me the punishment of his lotus staff.

"Talk to me," he said while tossing Portuguese weaponry to his life-assistant.

The words spilled from my mouth. "I know who really caused 9/11!"

He waved for his L.A. to leave before walking to his desk and removing a small, snub-nose revolver from the side drawer and casually sliding it toward my timid hands.

"Keep digging." He then began a game of Spider Solitaire, which is how Jack ends every conversation.

I was operating on dream-time, shakily burying the pistol into my reporter satchel as I stepped onto the Santa Monica sidewalk. The assignment was to keep digging, and so my first stop was the children's bookstore.
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