http://www.cracked.com/personal-experie ... ce_p2.html
So this article rang true for me in a lot of ways. I had been with my ex about 2 years before the physical abuse started happening. He had also been emotionally and financially abuse before then but I didn't really think of it is "abuse" until after the fact. I did also think I could "fix him" and it took a long time to realize that the future I had imagined with him was actually with a totally different person who just looked like him. It wasn't him. It was a hard lesson to learn because I was so invested and in love and it's not easy to realize that the person you've put several years in to is actually a piece of crap and will most likely always be a piece of crap. And if he does (or she) change, it will be for themselves, not for you.
But I think the biggest one is the lasting effects afterwards. It's taken a lot to get used to being in a healthy relationship because it's totally different. I still get it 'wrong' sometimes. I'm much happier, but the effects don't just go away.
I also feel bad because I want my abuse ex to see how well I'm doing in my new relationship. I don't care what he does with his life or who he dates, but I want him to see me being with someone I care about who treats me right, to see me happier, to see me more stable. Because those are all things that he made me feel like I couldn't have and I didn't deserve. And I don't speak to him anymore because he was such a toxic person, but I do very much want to rub my new life in his face, which sadly is not super healthy and I hope I can move past that.
So anywho, I thought it was a good article :)