by Popinki » Sun May 31, 2015 5:43 pm
Thank you for introducing me to the wonder of an anonymous bag of gummi dicks, which would be the perfect gift for that crazy woo-peddling snatch known as the Food Babe.
[warning: spittle-flecked rant follows]
Actually, I'd love to give her a big bag of gummi anything just to watch her brain asplode when confronted with the symphony of gelatin rendered down from cow trimmings (AIEEEEEE factory farming and, like, icky cow bits!!! GMO GTFO!!!!) and mixed with lovely high fructose corn syrup (ZOMFG that stuff is devil spooge it's a plot by Monsanto to give us all the diabeetus!!!) and artificial colors and flavorings (OH NOES THOSE ARE CHEMICLES HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!!!) shined up with a lovely "confectioner's glaze" (EWWWWW THAT'S MADE OF BUGS THEY'RE FEEDING US BUGS WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!) It would be the Kryptonite to her Superman, the salt (OMG that has chlorine in it that's what they used in the gas chambers*!!!) to her slug, the water (DIHIDROGEN MONOXIDE SOUNDS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A CHEMICAL THAT MUST BE BAD STUFF RIGHT!!!) to her Wicked Witch.
This topic makes me irrationally angry because I have a degree in biochemistry. I suffer from severe rheutatoid arthritis and a boss who believes every bit of Facebook woo, scarelore, and quackery to cross her feed. She's one of those people who is obsessed with eating healthy while being a complete snatch about it. And if only I'd listen to her, my hereditary degenerative autoimmune disease would just go away. Because my doctors are just pawns of Big Pharma and giving me Humera, which put my RA in remission finally, to make me sicker. And my college professors, who all have doctorates in their fields, lied to us for four years and only brave truth speakers with bacgrounds in... what exactly? are brave enough to speak the truth.
Eat a bag of gummi dicks, Food Babe and Dr. Oz and all the rest of you media personality quacks that mean I can't eat a fucking ham sandwich at my desk in peace.