6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Asshole)

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6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Asshole)

Postby ShuaiGuy » Sun May 31, 2015 3:17 pm

<Redacted>
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby archaeologydalek » Sun May 31, 2015 4:41 pm

REDACTED
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby Popinki » Sun May 31, 2015 5:43 pm

Thank you for introducing me to the wonder of an anonymous bag of gummi dicks, which would be the perfect gift for that crazy woo-peddling snatch known as the Food Babe.

[warning: spittle-flecked rant follows]

Actually, I'd love to give her a big bag of gummi anything just to watch her brain asplode when confronted with the symphony of gelatin rendered down from cow trimmings (AIEEEEEE factory farming and, like, icky cow bits!!! GMO GTFO!!!!) and mixed with lovely high fructose corn syrup (ZOMFG that stuff is devil spooge it's a plot by Monsanto to give us all the diabeetus!!!) and artificial colors and flavorings (OH NOES THOSE ARE CHEMICLES HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!!!) shined up with a lovely "confectioner's glaze" (EWWWWW THAT'S MADE OF BUGS THEY'RE FEEDING US BUGS WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!) It would be the Kryptonite to her Superman, the salt (OMG that has chlorine in it that's what they used in the gas chambers*!!!) to her slug, the water (DIHIDROGEN MONOXIDE SOUNDS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A CHEMICAL THAT MUST BE BAD STUFF RIGHT!!!) to her Wicked Witch.

This topic makes me irrationally angry because I have a degree in biochemistry. I suffer from severe rheutatoid arthritis and a boss who believes every bit of Facebook woo, scarelore, and quackery to cross her feed. She's one of those people who is obsessed with eating healthy while being a complete snatch about it. And if only I'd listen to her, my hereditary degenerative autoimmune disease would just go away. Because my doctors are just pawns of Big Pharma and giving me Humera, which put my RA in remission finally, to make me sicker. And my college professors, who all have doctorates in their fields, lied to us for four years and only brave truth speakers with bacgrounds in... what exactly? are brave enough to speak the truth.

Eat a bag of gummi dicks, Food Babe and Dr. Oz and all the rest of you media personality quacks that mean I can't eat a fucking ham sandwich at my desk in peace.
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby thatindianguy » Sun May 31, 2015 6:08 pm

Gummi dicks just seems like a real poor investment.

I mean girls won't eat them because they seem creepy and who wants to be known as the girl who eats genitalia candy.
Guys won't eat them because... well what guy wants the image of dicks being chewed up in his head?


Revenge gifts are the only option left.
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby NathanLoiselle » Sun May 31, 2015 6:22 pm

Good article Dalek. You should be proud of yourself.
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Sun May 31, 2015 6:38 pm

All this anti-chemical nonsense is just due to an extremely childish fear of negativity. They associate every chemical ever with the more dangerous one because "Well, one chemical causes X" because they can't emotionally handle a world where they might get a chemical burn. Meanwhile, these same people prepare a bleach bath for their child to prevent the autisms.
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby Popinki » Sun May 31, 2015 6:55 pm

thatindianguy wrote:Gummi dicks just seems like a real poor investment.

I mean girls won't eat them because they seem creepy and who wants to be known as the girl who eats genitalia candy.
Guys won't eat them because... well what guy wants the image of dicks being chewed up in his head?


Revenge gifts are the only option left.


Oh, I'd eat 'em, because free candy! I'd pretend the candy was attached to the original sender and get my own revenge.

Anyway, if my hero Felix Clay can eat dong-shaped pasta in the name of Art, I can live with being the chick who eats gummi junk.
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby Fun With Mr. Fudge » Sun May 31, 2015 11:37 pm

Have to agree that it was a fun article, and I actually started to laugh out loud at the timing.

THe Food Babe criticism was hilarious as were the comments (especially the fake endorsement of Food Babe).

Kudos to thatindianguy for getting the top two commens (last I checked), though a part of me was hoping he'd turn the sex pizza comment from one of dalek's previous articles into a running joke (especially given Entry 5).
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby ShuaiGuy » Mon Jun 01, 2015 1:04 am

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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby JamishT » Mon Jun 01, 2015 4:34 am

You know what girl would totally eat those gummi dicks? Kelly. Kelly would love them.
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby Paradox » Mon Jun 01, 2015 5:49 pm

I got a bag of dick cookies once as a prank.

They were vanilla or chocolate flavored, and filled with sweet condensed milk.

I ate them all.
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby Matthew Notch » Tue Jun 02, 2015 12:42 am

JamishT wrote:You know what girl guy would totally eat those gummi dicks? Kelly Shuai. Kelly Shuai would love them.


FTFY (and the entire world)
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby NathanLoiselle » Tue Jun 02, 2015 2:02 am

Matthew Notch wrote:
JamishT wrote:You know what girl guy would totally eat those gummi dicks? Kelly Shuai. Kelly Shuai would love them.


FTFY (and the entire world)


I was going to say that Jack would eat a bag of dicks. Nothing against Jack, of course.
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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby ShuaiGuy » Tue Jun 02, 2015 3:17 am

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Re: 6 Ways To Make Money Off The Internet (If You're An Assh

Postby D-LOGAN » Wed Jun 03, 2015 5:58 pm

FTFY? ....... FIXED THAT FOR YOU!

*Googles it so see if right*

BOOYAKASHA!!!! Gettin' the hang of this intenetin' malarkey. SOON THERE SHALL BE NONE WHO CAN STAND IN MY WAY!
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