Aliens are mining the moon!

Our thoughts about the famous Cracked.com.

Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Sun Mar 29, 2015 9:43 pm

We can do better than the ones Craked brought up. They were good but I've recently been using youtube conspiracy videos to fall asleep to (as Sherlock from the show 'Elementary' said I don't like the theories I like the theorists!) and there are some that are downright strange. The title references this one.

It is just a guy tracing outlines on the moon and making absurdly hilarious conclusions. He sees a mining crawler like worm(sorta looks like khans ear worm things) the size of New York, a castle with battlements and a big cannon, a satellite dish that suspiciously looks like a crater *gasp*, and that's just the beginning. He also does a breakdown of some mission patch that clearly supports all of this. I'm not sure if I ever heard a "why" but this is just one of many.

There's a ton of them with all sorts of different "energies" and I've become especially fond of "the pyramids were energy producing batteries" thing recently and have just started looking at the "Siberian holes" are.... well they've never been clear really. Got any good ones?
  • 4

"Draw me not without reason; sheath me not without honor."
User avatar
SandTea
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1257
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 5:01 pm
Show rep
Title: 3rdAeolus

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby NotCIAAgent » Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:15 pm

That's ridiculous, there can't be aliens in the moon.





The nazis would clearly repel them with their superior, Aryan technology. White power is 36,5% more efficient than nuclear power, after all.
  • 13

Image
User avatar
NotCIAAgent
Knight Writer
Knight Writer
 
Posts: 2914
Joined: Wed Oct 02, 2013 3:33 am
Location: 90's, Canada Wilderness
Show rep
Title: Shitposter Extraordinaire

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby CarrieVS » Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:36 pm

I guess aliens really like cheese. Probably milk doesn't exist on their worlds and dairy products are a rare and fabulously expensive alien (to them) delicacy.
  • 10

A Combustible Lemon wrote:Death is an archaic concept for simpleminded commonfolk, not Victorian scientist whales.
User avatar
CarrieVS
TCS Redshirt
TCS Redshirt
 
Posts: 7103
Joined: Sat Apr 20, 2013 7:43 pm
Location: By my wild self in the wet wild woods waving my wild tail
Show rep
Title: Drama Llama

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby Anglerphobe » Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:40 pm

Wait, isn't the moon the artificial satellite made by the Jews (actually reverse-vampire lizards) to broadcast their mind control waves over the Earth? You can't mine that. They must really be fighting for control over it.
  • 7

"Tusser, they tell me, when thou wert alive,
Thou, teaching thrift, thyselfe couldst never thrive.
So, like the whetstone, many men are wont
To sharpen others, when themselves are blunt."

Anyone who has any kind of opinion fucking disgusts me.
User avatar
Anglerphobe
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 2160
Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2015 6:03 pm
Show rep
Title: round Earth shill

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Sun Mar 29, 2015 11:48 pm

CarrieVS wrote:I guess aliens really like cheese. Probably milk doesn't exist on their worlds and dairy products are a rare and fabulously expensive alien (to them) delicacy.


Would explain the cow mutilations. They just can't figure out milking. They probably think human milk is better too therefor the probing.
  • 8

"Draw me not without reason; sheath me not without honor."
User avatar
SandTea
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1257
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 5:01 pm
Show rep
Title: 3rdAeolus

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:11 am

Bob Jones University teaches that the Moon appears as a signal that the apocalypse is nigh. God is apparently just really, really indecisive.
  • 5

Image
User avatar
Deathclaw_Puncher
Knight Writer
Knight Writer
 
Posts: 12452
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:42 pm
Location: Fair Oaks, CA
Show rep
Title: Queen of the Furrets

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:28 am

Ericthebearjew wrote:Bob Jones University teaches that the Moon appears as a signal that the apocalypse is nigh. God is apparently just really, really indecisive.


He's just a huge "Annie" fan.
  • 2

"Draw me not without reason; sheath me not without honor."
User avatar
SandTea
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1257
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 5:01 pm
Show rep
Title: 3rdAeolus

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:41 am

I personally enjoy the theory that Jack the Ripper was Prince Albert Victor and also Hitler.
  • 4

A society without redemption would damn us all ~ Kate
User avatar
OrangeEyebrows
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 5700
Joined: Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:48 pm
Location: Dormouse-like in a teapot
Show rep
Title: Magnifitail

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby archaeologydalek » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:09 pm

REDACTED
  • 7

Last edited by archaeologydalek on Wed Apr 13, 2016 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
archaeologydalek
Frequent Poster
Frequent Poster
 
Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2013 1:36 pm
Show rep

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby gisambards » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:24 pm

archaeologydalek wrote:One of my all-time favourite conspiracy theories, and one that I've so-far failed to get onto the site, is the conspiracy that President Obama is actually a clone of the Egyptian Pharaoh Akhenaten.


Personally, I find this theory sound: Obama is black, Akhenaten was black. Obama's wife is black, Akhenaten's wife was black. And Obama once nearly pulled a pose similar to a statue of Akhenaten.
I, for one, am convinced.
  • 7

User avatar
gisambards
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 2088
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2015 11:45 pm
Show rep

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby CarrieVS » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:36 pm

So, that brings us back to the discussion we had about Ted Cruz and natural born citizens.
  • 3

A Combustible Lemon wrote:Death is an archaic concept for simpleminded commonfolk, not Victorian scientist whales.
User avatar
CarrieVS
TCS Redshirt
TCS Redshirt
 
Posts: 7103
Joined: Sat Apr 20, 2013 7:43 pm
Location: By my wild self in the wet wild woods waving my wild tail
Show rep
Title: Drama Llama

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Mon Mar 30, 2015 3:04 pm

archaeologydalek wrote:Hey, you're talking about one of my articles!

Instead, I look for weird conspiracies that fulfil one (ideally, all) of the following criteria: a) the conspiracy is related to current events; b) there's an underlying logic to how the conspiracy works, which gives us more to talk about and demonstrates that this isn't simply the rantings of a lunatic; c) it can be debunked laughably easily.

For this reason, I think this is one of the hardest types of articles to write. Also, one of the best because, once you've got a good list, you can just go balls-out silly with it.


Gratz! I do love this stuff(and that clone one is great) so I'll keep that in mind even though this is where I was just gonna point and laugh. It is depressingly true most are just "the jews!" or "look at the numbers!" Gotta be hard to find interesting current event ones that aren't just "Look, a triangle!". There was an eclipse recently that has some buzz around it. especially from the moon=spacecraft guys if that helps for more of these articles.

God speed agent 777. I'll meet you at Nibiru.

oh and I hope you didn't take "we can do better" as anything but tongue in cheek. Otherwise I'd have 100 bucks in my e-pocket :D
  • 5

Last edited by SandTea on Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Draw me not without reason; sheath me not without honor."
User avatar
SandTea
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1257
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 5:01 pm
Show rep
Title: 3rdAeolus

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Mon Mar 30, 2015 5:19 pm

So, are these people in constant fear of pointing upwards,and therefore, in their minds, accidentally converting?
  • 5

Image
User avatar
Deathclaw_Puncher
Knight Writer
Knight Writer
 
Posts: 12452
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:42 pm
Location: Fair Oaks, CA
Show rep
Title: Queen of the Furrets

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:43 pm

Ericthebearjew wrote:So, are these people in constant fear of pointing upwards,and therefore, in their minds, accidentally converting?


That is an interesting idea. I have already seen theorists turn on one another claiming ones a shill for whatever. conspiricy-ception I guess. Conspiracies about conspiracies... My brain just screamed "Simpsons did it" even though I'm recalling that South Park episode about truthers. Sounds like a fun game at least 'turn their conspiracy justification protocol against them'. Off to the calculator!
  • 4

"Draw me not without reason; sheath me not without honor."
User avatar
SandTea
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1257
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 5:01 pm
Show rep
Title: 3rdAeolus

Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby sunglasses » Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:54 pm

I still love the woman who said that Monster energy drinks were Satan for reasons no sane brain can comprehend.
  • 4

TCS Etiquette Guide

Rules and FAQs

Zevran wrote:Magic can kill. Knives can kill. Even small children launched at great speeds can kill.
User avatar
sunglasses
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 11541
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:52 pm
Show rep
Title: The Speaker of Horrors.

Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests

cron