I really enjoy Portal. It's genuinely hilarious, it's got interesting puzzles and a clever story, and it writes women like human beings. I am not happy to see this Cracked article marginalizing women by acting like every story with women in it is actually a trite feminist cliche. No way a popular story with a female protagonist can just be taken at face value, you know, like stories starring men are.
There will be spoilers in this thread and I'm not going to use the spoiler tag because I assume you have already played Portal. If you haven't played it you are wrong.
#5. The Female Main Character Is a Blank Slate (In a Good Way)
I agree with this one. NEXT!
#4. There's a Hidden Backstory Full of Overbearing Men
Oh man. Here we go.
The only evidence the article provides for the men in Portal being "overbearing" is 3 comic strip panels in which male scientists discuss trying to control GLaDOS. Seriously. Cracked, GLaDOS is an evil murderous robot, they want to control her because she's trying to kill them all. Not because she's a woman.
#3. The Female Antagonist Is the Product of an Abusive Relationship
Cave eventually starts talking about "pouring" people into computers, and declares that if he dies before it's possible for his brain to be transferred, he wants it to happen to Caroline instead. Offering his assistant immortality would be a sweet declaration of his love and gratitude, were it not for this line: "Now, she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her!"
That scene was originally written to sound like rape, as Cracked has mentioned before. And when Caroline is stripped of her autonomy and humanity and becomes GLaDOS, her new form as a psychotic AI resembles a woman in bondage.
Really? I just saw those things as wires. Not bondage. You know, wires, because GLaDOS is a ROBOT. I didn't think that scene was supposed to sound like rape either. Is everything a man does to a woman that is against her wishes a rape metaphor? Isn't it marginalizing to women to act like everything bad that happens to women is somehow rape related?
#2. A Guy Comes Along to Offer Help, Then Gets Rough When the Relationship Goes South
This is referring to Wheatley. Wheatley went mad with power when he got control of the lab. It's implied that there is something about the system that makes whatever AI is in charge of it go insane. There is nothing about Wheatley's interaction with either Chell or GLaDOS that constitutes a romantic "relationship." He takes on more of the role of dumb side kick / comic relief. You really have to reach to find these abusive relationship "metaphors."
Now, there's nothing remotely sexual about your interaction with Wheatley, outside of some very strange and definitely unofficial artwork that we've seen. But the dynamic they share hits many of the same beats you'd find in a toxic relationship. Imagine you're a normal girl who's down on her luck. A nice guy turns up with all the right answers, or at least an honest attempt at them. He wants to help you, so you follow him for a while, and sure enough, things start to look up. Life isn't perfect yet, but you're not in that rut anymore, and that's partially thanks to him. But the moment you start to succeed on your own? That's when you find out he was using you.
This is seriously disturbing for me to read. I just can't believe there are people out there who think any interaction a woman has with a man that turns negative must be a metaphor for an abusive relationship. It seems really dehumanizing. It's stereotyping, shoving women into a box they can't escape from.
#1. The Game Employs Subtle (But Important) Symbolism Throughout
We'll sidestep any more talk of how your gun shoots vaginas, in the name of keeping this classy. In fact, we'll even ignore that the game is peppered with names like Cave and Aperture, and the potential implications thereof. Instead, we want to talk about the Moon.
What does the Moon have to do with femininity, we're going to assume you're asking? Well, look around you -- there's a reason menstual cups are called "moon cups" and snack bars for women are called Luna bars (complete with a Moon symbol in the logo) and new-agey treatments for women have words like Moon Goddess in them. Ask any mythology enthusiast or new age type at your local health food store (if you're not sure who's a new age type at a health food store, it's everyone), and they'll all tell you the same thing: The moon is a symbol of womanhood that's been associated with dozens of goddesses throughout the ages. Also werewolves and crazy people, but mostly lady gods.
Oh my god. So because the moon is in this game and women are in this game, anything that happens to the movie must be a symbol of womanhood?
I think the Portal story deserves to be taken at face value. Reading all these messages into it seems like it's not taking the story seriously enough and not taking women seriously.