Wait, is ‘vicar’ the right word? No. I actually meant ‘sex-crazed maniac’.
Not that the two are mutually exclusive
If ShuaiGuy is to be believed, the key to solving the world’s energy crisis is attaching his genitals to a substation. Just the scientists from Robocop, we have the technology. But…does anyone want to live in a world where the lights are kept on by ShuaiGuy’s perpetual nut-busting? If that day ever comes to pass, you’ll find me eking out a living in the woods. It might be cold, wet, and full of bears out there, but it’ll spare me from worrying about getting pregnant every time I switch my computer on.
Except, maybe not. As one study recently discovered, that old adage about how braggers and overcompensating rings true after all. Researchers from the Institute of Jaghatardigshauikille polled a group of dudes and asked them to rate their sexual proficiency on a scale ranging from ‘1’ to ‘10’ (with the latter being the highest). To the surprise of no-one, the vast majority of guys rated themselves in the higher ranges. However, the scientists then turned around and asked the partners of the guys to rate their actual skill.
You can guess how this went. The results showed that the guys who polled themselves as being sex machines actually performed with the dynamism of a dead battery.
So, what does this mean for ShuaiGuy? Well…based on the number of sexually-charged comments that I’ve managed to gather over the last several days (I had to hire a whole research team for the job), I’m confident in saying that ShuaiGuy has the sexual magnetism of two north poles trying to bump together, as well as the lustful appetite of a balloon animal.
And that’s not speculation. It’s science. In fact, if you’re interested in reading more, here’s the study in question.