You Won't Believe This One Crazy Fact about ShuaiGuy! (HW)

You Won't Believe This One Crazy Fact about ShuaiGuy! (HW)

Postby archaeologydalek » Tue Aug 04, 2015 1:12 am

Alongside once having the worst poops in the world, ShuaiGuy is best-known for his vicar-esque attitude towards sexual relations.

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Wait, is ‘vicar’ the right word? No. I actually meant ‘sex-crazed maniac’.

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Not that the two are mutually exclusive

If ShuaiGuy is to be believed, the key to solving the world’s energy crisis is attaching his genitals to a substation. Just the scientists from Robocop, we have the technology. But…does anyone want to live in a world where the lights are kept on by ShuaiGuy’s perpetual nut-busting? If that day ever comes to pass, you’ll find me eking out a living in the woods. It might be cold, wet, and full of bears out there, but it’ll spare me from worrying about getting pregnant every time I switch my computer on.

Except, maybe not. As one study recently discovered, that old adage about how braggers and overcompensating rings true after all. Researchers from the Institute of Jaghatardigshauikille polled a group of dudes and asked them to rate their sexual proficiency on a scale ranging from ‘1’ to ‘10’ (with the latter being the highest). To the surprise of no-one, the vast majority of guys rated themselves in the higher ranges. However, the scientists then turned around and asked the partners of the guys to rate their actual skill.

You can guess how this went. The results showed that the guys who polled themselves as being sex machines actually performed with the dynamism of a dead battery.

So, what does this mean for ShuaiGuy? Well…based on the number of sexually-charged comments that I’ve managed to gather over the last several days (I had to hire a whole research team for the job), I’m confident in saying that ShuaiGuy has the sexual magnetism of two north poles trying to bump together, as well as the lustful appetite of a balloon animal.

And that’s not speculation. It’s science. In fact, if you’re interested in reading more, here’s the study in question.
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Last edited by archaeologydalek on Sun Aug 09, 2015 12:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby JamishT » Tue Aug 04, 2015 5:31 am

Well geez, it looks like AdricTheNormal has some competition in the who-is-least-exciting-in-bed competition, and he doesn't do anything but sleep in bed!




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JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby Tesseracts » Tue Aug 04, 2015 6:53 am

JamishT wrote:Well geez, it looks like AdricTheNormal has some competition in the who-is-least-exciting-in-bed competition, and he doesn't do anything but sleep in bed!




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Normal


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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Tue Aug 04, 2015 7:29 am

Of course, the most not-not most terrible person of all is RainyDays.

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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby Australia » Tue Aug 04, 2015 11:44 am

As JamesT knows all too well, it's better to be a dead fish during sex than strive for sexcellence and fail miserably, resulting in a week's worth of blood and vomit from both parties.

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I'd say it's the thought that counts but not even a masochist wants to be put in that position.

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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby sunglasses » Tue Aug 04, 2015 12:22 pm

Look. It's not all Shuai's fault. He hath been influenced by the Damiana Raven.

hate week.
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby AdricDePsycho » Wed Aug 05, 2015 5:27 pm

JamishT wrote:Well geez, it looks like AdricTheNormal has some competition in the who-is-least-exciting-in-bed competition, and he doesn't do anything but sleep in bed!




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First of all, yes I do sleep all the time in bed. Second of all, I at least don't go full Cosby on girls like you, JMenoniteT.

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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby JamishT » Wed Aug 05, 2015 6:00 pm

AdricDePsycho wrote:
JamishT wrote:Well geez, it looks like AdricTheNormal has some competition in the who-is-least-exciting-in-bed competition, and he doesn't do anything but sleep in bed!




This post has been brought to you by The Church Of Scientology and Hate Week.

First of all, yes I do sleep all the time in bed. Second of all, I at least don't go full Cosby on girls like you, JMenoniteT.

This post brought to you by Farmer Ahab's Blubber Nuggets. Yum, they're chewy! Oh, and also Hate Week


You're skirting a line here.

Nope, I go half Cosby, the half that had sex, not the drugging/forcing one. It's like they really want me, but that's probably because they desire the opposite of you.

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JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby LaChaise » Wed Aug 05, 2015 6:10 pm

JamishT wrote:I go half Cosby


So... you go-by? :lol:

Couldn't resist, sorry.
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby AdricDePsycho » Wed Aug 05, 2015 7:41 pm

JamishT wrote:
AdricDePsycho wrote:
JamishT wrote:Well geez, it looks like AdricTheNormal has some competition in the who-is-least-exciting-in-bed competition, and he doesn't do anything but sleep in bed!




This post has been brought to you by The Church Of Scientology and Hate Week.

First of all, yes I do sleep all the time in bed. Second of all, I at least don't go full Cosby on girls like you, JMenoniteT.

This post brought to you by Farmer Ahab's Blubber Nuggets. Yum, they're chewy! Oh, and also Hate Week


You're skirting a line here.

Nope, I go half Cosby, the half that had sex, not the drugging/forcing one. It's like they really want me, but that's probably because they desire the opposite of you.

This post has been brought to you by Comstock Lode and Hate Week.

If they want the opposite of me, they should get Jim, because Jim is better than you, Chad. Fuck Chad.

This post brought to you by more of Katy Perry's shitty music for Nathan, and Hate Week
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby JamishT » Wed Aug 05, 2015 7:48 pm

AdricDePsycho wrote:...than you, Chad. Fuck Chad.

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If you're operating under the assumption (which remains inexplicable to me, but then again, I'll never understand normal brain processes) that I am Chad...well, I cannot disagree with this advice!

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JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby AdricDePsycho » Wed Aug 05, 2015 7:50 pm

JamishT wrote:
AdricDePsycho wrote:...than you, Chad. Fuck Chad.

This post brought to you by more of Katy Perry's shitty music for Nathan, and Hate Week


If you're operating under the assumption (which remains inexplicable to me, but then again, I'll never understand normal brain processes) that I am Chad...well, I cannot disagree with this advice!

This post has been brought to you by StarTek Inc. and Hate Week.

What kind of shitfaced bozo can't spell Star Trek right? A shitfaced bozo named Chad, that's who! CHAD!!!

Hate Week, swine!
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby JamishT » Wed Aug 05, 2015 8:02 pm

What kind of guy doesn't Google an unfamiliar name to find out that it is in fact a company that does...something. I'm still not sure what Startek does, bu---WAIT A MINUTE, I WAS ON MY WAY TO MAKING A POINT!

Ahem.

What kind of guy assumes someone misspelled Star Trek rather than the fact that the person was referencing an obscure company? A normal person. An incredibly normal person. It's way too easy to get you to show your normalhood, probably because it is every side of you.

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JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby AdricDePsycho » Wed Aug 05, 2015 8:53 pm

JMenoniteT wrote:What kind of guy doesn't Google an unfamiliar name to find out that it is in fact a company that does...something. I'm still not sure what Startek does, bu---WAIT A MINUTE, I WAS ON MY WAY TO MAKING A POINT!

Wow. Just wow. You can't make a valid point even if you tried. You really are a Chad. Being Chad is so bad, I feel pity insulting you. Pity. You are a pitiful person because you have to go out with that deformed face of yours and tell everyone that you're Chad.

Haters gonna Hate on Hate Week
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Re: 6 Insane Reasons Why ShuaiGuy Isn't Not-Terrible - HW

Postby iMURDAu » Thu Aug 06, 2015 3:21 pm

JamishT wrote:What kind of guy doesn't Google an unfamiliar name to find out that it is in fact a company that does...something. I'm still not sure what Startek does, bu---WAIT A MINUTE, I WAS ON MY WAY TO MAKING A POINT!

Ahem.

What kind of guy assumes someone misspelled Star Trek rather than the fact that the person was referencing an obscure company? A normal person. An incredibly normal person. It's way too easy to get you to show your normalhood, probably because it is every side of you.

This post has been brought to you by Etsy.com and Hate Week.


StarTek does customer service for AT&T wireless. I used to work for that awful company. I wouldn't even wish working there on Askias and he's my nemesis this Hate Week. Imagine getting told you were being graded on one interaction with a customer and they said "I'm somewhere I don't have internet access on my phone or a computer or else I'd have done this myself" early on and you failed the call because you didn't tell them that they could have done what you did for them by going online and doing it themselves. If you didn't give a self service option relevant to the customers problem then you automatically failed.
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