Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby DinoVader » Wed Jul 30, 2014 11:21 pm

Time for another report from my journey to free this forum from the menace known as Carp.

After last night, I was hurt. The things I saw were just too much. What I needed was my sanctuary. My sacred place. My childhood haven.
I needed to visit to my beloved beach.

Image

I took a deep breath of the rejuvenating air and I instantly felt better. Safer. After all, this had been my home since I was but an infant. It just felt right.
With a sudden desire to re-live childhood innocence, I knew what to do. I was going to build a sandcastle. And then I did. Because I just told you so.

Image

Shown above: Mad skillz, yo

There I was, with my own castle. Dino's castle. Sure, it may not have been the most beautiful sandcastle in the history of the universe, but I feel pretty confident when I say that it was high on the list. I mean, just look at it. Yeah. You know I'm right.

So there I was, feeling peaceful, finally at a point where I could begin the process of coping with my earlier discoveries. I'm not going to lie, it was painful, but being there with my castle helped.
That's when it happened. I guess I should have known, but the screams seemed so genuine... Those horrible screams...
I looked out at the ocean and saw a woman, panickly waving her arms. I immediately ran to save her, but when I got out there, all I found was something that I assume must have been from Carp's... personal collection...

Image

Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with him either

With a growing suspicion, I left the uncomfortably sticky object alone and returned to my castle. And that's when I saw it.

Image


He did all that, just to hurt me and my castle. My poor, poor castle. All that remained was that one tower, perfectly emphasizing just how hurt I felt. I was alone, just like that tower. At that point, I was close to giving up. It all seemed to pointless. I had never done Carp anything, yet he treated me like this. Why? I'll tell you why. He's evil. Pure evil. Who else would ruin a sandcastle?

Exactly.

But I knew that I couldn't give up. Even if he defiled my sanctuary, I knew I'd have to fight on, because I couldn't let him hurt my new haven. I can't let him hurt TCS.
  • 19

<ToBeKateinued>a cloaca is an asshole the way that 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner is a shampoo.
User avatar
DinoVader
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 129
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2013 9:11 pm
Show rep
Title: Private incestigator

Re: Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby Kate » Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:51 pm

Oh snap, Australia and Carp have the same girlfriend.

Awkward...

Brought to you by Hate Week and sexual deviancy.
  • 9

JT's Art Thread - JamesT's awesome stuff.
User avatar
Kate
Gul DuKate
Gul DuKate
 
Posts: 2961
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:08 am
Location: Assembling Future Kate
Show rep
Title: Sheepwoman

Re: Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby JamishT » Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:33 pm

Actually, that little stick on top of the penis shaped thing? That's an exact replica of Nullbert's dick!

NullbertDick.jpg
Just look at that little thing!
NullbertDick.jpg (19.85 KiB) Viewed 6055 times


Hate Week is only for the brave and good looking.
  • 7

JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
User avatar
JamishT
TCS ModerBlobber
TCS ModerBlobber
 
Posts: 5579
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:31 pm
Location: KC, MO, AMERICA
Show rep
Title: The Wannabe Adult

Re: Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby Nullbert » Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:10 pm

Haha, Jamshit has a picture saved on his computer called NullbertDick!

Anyway, the fact that you think that a tiny little stick looks like a dick says more about you than me... just saying.

And my penis is magnificent, ladies. More like this:
Image

This post brought to you by Sigmund Freud's cigar and Hate Week.
  • 6

User avatar
Nullbert
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1545
Joined: Mon May 06, 2013 5:32 pm
Location: The Bermuda Triangle
Show rep
Title: British Bastard

Re: Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby JamishT » Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:20 pm

Nullbert posted a broken link, because that's the best way to describe his little stick.

Hate Week.
  • 6

JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
User avatar
JamishT
TCS ModerBlobber
TCS ModerBlobber
 
Posts: 5579
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:31 pm
Location: KC, MO, AMERICA
Show rep
Title: The Wannabe Adult

Re: Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby Edgar Cabrera » Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:47 pm

You mean something like this, Nullie?

Image

Because that's casually how my reproductive organ looks, or so said JulyJack's mother and sister when I was pleasuring them.

This post is brought to you by John Holmes' estate and Hate Week.
  • 7

James Bond: "Red wine with fish. Well, that should have told me something."
Red Grant: "You may know the right wines, but you're the one on your knees. How does it feel, old man?"
From Russia with Love

"This woman is an idiot without a basic grasp of the English language, and the guy is an abusive creepy weirdo."
– JamesT's review of Fifty Shades of Grey.
User avatar
Edgar Cabrera
Blobber
Blobber
 
Posts: 3085
Joined: Tue May 07, 2013 4:23 pm
Location: Asunción, Paraguay
Show rep
Title: A Masked Brightener

Re: Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby Andropov4 » Thu Jul 31, 2014 9:04 pm

JamishT wrote:Hate Week is only for the brave and good looking.


Then who let Nathan join?

This post brought to by Hate Week and the Society for Pithy Irritating Comments (SPIC)
  • 8

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a lamb."- Ryan Stiles

Jenna is mine.
User avatar
Andropov4
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 3307
Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:24 pm
Location: 'Murica
Show rep
Title: Rhetorically Correct Rascal

Re: Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby NathanLoiselle » Thu Jul 31, 2014 9:52 pm

Andropov4 wrote:
JamishT wrote:Hate Week is only for the brave and good looking.


Then who let Nathan join?

This post brought to by Hate Week and the Society for Pithy Irritating Comments (SPIC)


Hey! I'm good looking. I'm just not brave.
  • 1

User avatar
NathanLoiselle
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 4484
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:49 am
Location: You'll Never Know!
Show rep

Re: Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby SlayerGoddess » Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:56 am

I see that jbobsully11's essence of evil has found its way into Carp as well; mutilating women like that is his specialty- he must have been having so much fun torturing and slaughtering real women that he gave Carp a sex doll instead. Well, I suppose we should be glad that he was in such a rush to traumatize you that he didn't take the time to grab a real woman.

This post is brought to you by Hate Week and jbobsully11's crimes against innocence.
  • 5

I survived watching "50 Shades of Grey" for TCS Movie Night

3/7/15

NEVER FORGET
User avatar
SlayerGoddess
Frequent Poster
Frequent Poster
 
Posts: 209
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 7:47 pm
Location: Madhouse
Show rep
Title: HER

Re: Attack of the sea monster (HW)

Postby jbobsully11 » Fri Aug 01, 2014 7:35 am

SlayerGoddess is clearly spreading these lies so that we don't notice the Twilight books and DVDs piled up around her... or Edward Cullen sneaking away from her house early in the morning. Again, I almost exclusively kill possessed animals that are out to get me; what happened to most of the rabbits was an accident.

SlayerGoddess, on the other hand, has been known to intentionally and systematically level sand dunes by the ocean so that nearby areas get destroyed by the next major storm to hit, and whenever she sees kids building a sand castle, she demands that they show her their notarized building permits in triplicate. Inevitably, when no one can produce said paperwork, she smashes the fruit of their labors, says "an act of God isn't covered by most insurance policies anyway," and storms off.
crushed_dreams.jpg
"I'm seven years old. What's a building permit?"
crushed_dreams.jpg (84.59 KiB) Viewed 5989 times

SlayerGoddess is terrible at clever one-liners and thinks she's an actual deity, is what I'm saying.

This post brought to you by Hate Week and Hurricane SlayerGoddess: wrecking homes of all sizes up and down the east coast for years.
  • 7

Crimson847 wrote:In other words, transgender-friendly privacy laws don't molest people, people molest people.

(Presumably, the only way to stop a bad guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law is a good guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law, and thus transgender-friendly privacy law rights need to be enshrined in the Constitution as well)
User avatar
jbobsully11
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 3644
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 10:22 pm
Location: not the outskirts of nowhere anymore, NJ, USA
Show rep
Title: The Chronically Underemployed


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests