This! Is the leader of the cow revolution! Do not be fooled by his feigned friendliness. Do not be taken in by his false stupidity. These animals are not the bumbling buffoons who can not even arise back to their feet after being pushed over, as they pretend to be. They are cunning creatures, plotting our destruction. And I fear they may be close to the checkmate of their master plan. Their numbers have been rising globally for the past 20 years and near almost 1 1/2 billion. It shan't be long until they have enough to move forward with their plans.
Denizens of TCS, do not ignore my warnings. Heed what I am saying to you, and do not buy into their deception. They are crafty bastards, capable of far more than we give them credit for. They have formed bonds with one another and are working together. Indeed, we can already ear witness to the fruits of their labor, as they have successfully convinced many that they are a holy animal, and are now regarded as sacred in the religion of many people across the globe. Do not be duped by their treachery, they are plotting. They are coming.
We cannot afford to trifle with these beasts. We must take this threat seriously if we are to be victorious. We must prepare for war.