Oh
here we go again...!
JamesT wrote:Real crime fighting is stressful for people who don't have magic chocolate rings...
Listen! For the last time- it's
NOT "magic", James! It's
alien super-science! I've told you time and time again! Gah!
Why can't you get this?!? It was bestowed upon me by a dying member of a distant galactic race to protect the planet and make awkward allusions to feces! But NO...! YOU just label
everything you don't understand as "magic" and go flying off the handle, screaming things like "It's sorcery! It's evil!" and "He's a witch! BURN HIM!" because you refuse to crack a goddamn science book, and the world is all just miracles and wizardry to you, isn't it!?!
How many bad guys and galactic threats did we have backed against the wall when you'd just throw a fucking net over me and start yelling "I've got him! I've got the wizard! Everybody- I've got the wizard!!!", and then they'd get away?!?
- JamesTDoesntUnderstandScience.jpg (906.75 KiB) Viewed 7522 times
THAT'S the
real reason we broke up our team- because you trashed every single damn chocolate fountain ring charger I ever had, and I had to fucking recount my origin story every other issue just to
try to get it through your thick skull that I wasn't some fucking demon from Hell trying to steal your soul!!! You drove the price of our issues down to 15 cents with your lunacy- nobody was buying our stories!!! (That picture up there- that's not from the Silver Age, people... that's from 2010! That's right- our comics were selling for 15 cents in 2010. And STILL no one was interested enough to read them!) I have a family to feed...!
Count yourself
lucky that Typical_Michael was willing to team-up with you after that! He's a good guy- that's the
only reason why! He'd call me once a week, and tell me things like "Dude, James is trying to free the miniature people from the television again." or "James is shooting arrows at planes and calling them 'steel dragons'- what do I do?" I didn't know what to tell him...! James... do you remember that time he drove you far out into the countryside and sped away? That's... that's my fault, actually. I feel bad because I thought it would work- I told t_m that there was no way you would
ever find your way back home.
And now I... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Typical_Michael.