Man From Australia Threatens Planet (HW)

Man From Australia Threatens Planet (HW)

Postby Australia » Thu Aug 01, 2013 9:15 am

Global News wrote:Another Australian city has fallen by the wayside, due to the actions of a manic man in a spider costume. But this spider-man is no hero. He has left hundreds devastated in his wake, keeping few alive so they can tell his tale. We can only protect people from our borders for so long. Experts say there will be nothing left on the continent by Christmas, and those are the optimistic sources. There is little known of the man, who goes by the name ‘Ashtherion’, but his villainy is almost outdone by his incompetence. He prides himself on his evil achievements, racking up almost a tenth of the million daily fatalities in Australia, but citizens don’t fear him or even pity him. He wanders around, acting tough and performing horrible acts, but people can’t take him seriously, when he’s hiding behind a mask of a creature he will never live up to. He fumbles, he goes on diatribes about how his mother was knocked up on a porn set, and while extremely dangerous, is nothing compared to the spiders he attempts to evoke. He is both the end and the laughing stock of the planet...(cont.: page 4)


What a bold reporter. She’ll probably be next.
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Re: Man From Australia Threatens Planet

Postby Learned Nand » Thu Aug 01, 2013 9:44 am

You know, when the Israelis faced a similar problem with a Palestinian terrorist, they used bug-spray, and that worked pretty well.

I'm trying to self-parody
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Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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whose arguments no one could quell.
He tested with Turing,
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and now we'll have peace for a spell.
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Re: Man From Australia Threatens Planet

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Thu Aug 01, 2013 9:47 am

Is...is aviel his own arch-enemy?
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Re: Man From Australia Threatens Planet

Postby LaChaise » Thu Aug 01, 2013 9:48 am

Don't try too hard, you're already quite the parody without efforts at times.

Hey, I don't need any event to be hateful. Take that as an example. The country needs you to be an asshole.
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Re: Man From Australia Threatens Planet

Postby Nullbert » Thu Aug 01, 2013 10:34 am

The hate is strong in this one.
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Re: Man From Australia Threatens Planet

Postby Learned Nand » Thu Aug 01, 2013 12:53 pm

OrangeEyebrows wrote:Is...is aviel his own arch-enemy?

No, I'm everyone else's.
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Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Click for a Limerick
OrangeEyebrows wrote:There once was a guy, Aviel,
whose arguments no one could quell.
He tested with Turing,
his circuits fried during,
and now we'll have peace for a spell.
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Re: Man From Australia Threatens Planet (HW)

Postby JamishT » Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:29 pm

With someone like Tesserdoesntact on it, I'm surprised no one has gone through with actually destroying this planet.

This post brought to you by hate week!
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