Global News wrote:Another Australian city has fallen by the wayside, due to the actions of a manic man in a spider costume. But this spider-man is no hero. He has left hundreds devastated in his wake, keeping few alive so they can tell his tale. We can only protect people from our borders for so long. Experts say there will be nothing left on the continent by Christmas, and those are the optimistic sources. There is little known of the man, who goes by the name ‘Ashtherion’, but his villainy is almost outdone by his incompetence. He prides himself on his evil achievements, racking up almost a tenth of the million daily fatalities in Australia, but citizens don’t fear him or even pity him. He wanders around, acting tough and performing horrible acts, but people can’t take him seriously, when he’s hiding behind a mask of a creature he will never live up to. He fumbles, he goes on diatribes about how his mother was knocked up on a porn set, and while extremely dangerous, is nothing compared to the spiders he attempts to evoke. He is both the end and the laughing stock of the planet...(cont.: page 4)
What a bold reporter. She’ll probably be next.