Yes! It's the 10 Reasons Why You Should Hate iMURDAu, Just Like Me! Now, now I know you're groaning. "Not another listicle, hasn't Cracked done those to death?" And the answer is no. No Cracked has not done them to death. You just think that, just like me. In fact, you think so much like me that you'll find yourself lazily writing a listicle (because you can't be arsed to write a full article) by the end of this listicle! Also, you'll be hating iMURDAu.
So here we go...
1) There's this show going around about a used-to-be-fat-girl who becomes a pageant participant called Insatiable. She's selfish, self-centred, and not a very nice person. Now you're asking me what this has to do with iMURDAu. To which I say, nothing it has nothing to do with iMURDAu. I just thought you should know about the show, because it's a brutally honest show about what Hollywood is like. Only it doesn't have Hollywood in it but that's beyond the point because symbolism!
Also, did I tell you about how iMURDAu is so self-centred, so cruel, so self-absorbed that he doesn't get along with his in-laws! Who doesn't get along with their in-laws? It's like a law to get along with them. That's why their called in-laws. It's got law right in the name!
Hey, I guess iMURDAu does have something in common with Insatiable. Beyond the bad reviews of him in bed that is.
2) iMURDAu gave birth to a demon! His son has a crooked back and was born early. You know what else is born early and has a crooked back? Demons do! And as we all know, being a big fat jerk makes demon making easier. So it's likely he's a big fat jerk. Did I say likely? I meant definitely.
3) Did you know that iMURDAu uses a CPAP machine? Who uses that crap? Sorcerers who speak under their breath do. And as we all learned from Terry Pratchett (may he live for eternity in heaven) sorcerers are evil! In fact, iMURDAu is really pale too! Just like a sorcerer!
4) iMURDAu has never actually killed anyone including you. In fact, he's a vegan. Yes, that's correct. He's a dirty vegan who only kills plants. He's a plant killer. And we all know what plant killers are good for. Plant fertilizer!
ARTICLE TO BE UPDATED WHEN I STOP FEELING SO APATHETIC AND LAZY
Brought to you by Hate Week, it's got H in it! Just like Heroin.