10 Reasons Why (HW)

10 Reasons Why (HW)

Postby NathanLoiselle » Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:01 pm

Yes! It's the 10 Reasons Why You Should Hate iMURDAu, Just Like Me! Now, now I know you're groaning. "Not another listicle, hasn't Cracked done those to death?" And the answer is no. No Cracked has not done them to death. You just think that, just like me. In fact, you think so much like me that you'll find yourself lazily writing a listicle (because you can't be arsed to write a full article) by the end of this listicle! Also, you'll be hating iMURDAu.

So here we go...

1) There's this show going around about a used-to-be-fat-girl who becomes a pageant participant called Insatiable. She's selfish, self-centred, and not a very nice person. Now you're asking me what this has to do with iMURDAu. To which I say, nothing it has nothing to do with iMURDAu. I just thought you should know about the show, because it's a brutally honest show about what Hollywood is like. Only it doesn't have Hollywood in it but that's beyond the point because symbolism!

Also, did I tell you about how iMURDAu is so self-centred, so cruel, so self-absorbed that he doesn't get along with his in-laws! Who doesn't get along with their in-laws? It's like a law to get along with them. That's why their called in-laws. It's got law right in the name!

Hey, I guess iMURDAu does have something in common with Insatiable. Beyond the bad reviews of him in bed that is.

2) iMURDAu gave birth to a demon! His son has a crooked back and was born early. You know what else is born early and has a crooked back? Demons do! And as we all know, being a big fat jerk makes demon making easier. So it's likely he's a big fat jerk. Did I say likely? I meant definitely.

3) Did you know that iMURDAu uses a CPAP machine? Who uses that crap? Sorcerers who speak under their breath do. And as we all learned from Terry Pratchett (may he live for eternity in heaven) sorcerers are evil! In fact, iMURDAu is really pale too! Just like a sorcerer!

4) iMURDAu has never actually killed anyone including you. In fact, he's a vegan. Yes, that's correct. He's a dirty vegan who only kills plants. He's a plant killer. And we all know what plant killers are good for. Plant fertilizer!

ARTICLE TO BE UPDATED WHEN I STOP FEELING SO APATHETIC AND LAZY

Brought to you by Hate Week, it's got H in it! Just like Heroin.
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Re: 10 Reasons Why (HW)

Postby NathanLoiselle » Sat Aug 18, 2018 6:31 pm

IMURDAu made me so apathetic and lazy that I couldn't even finish this article about why we should all hate iMURDAu! That's how much I hate him! Arrrrgh!
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Re: 10 Reasons Why (HW)

Postby iMURDAu » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:44 pm

I'm being blamed for your shortcomings.

Sounds like a Nathan thing to do.

I thought you were Candinaindian, aren't you people supposed to be polite?

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Re: 10 Reasons Why (HW)

Postby NathanLoiselle » Sun Aug 19, 2018 1:13 am

Polite? Polite? Why I oughta... *gives iMURDAu the finger*

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Re: 10 Reasons Why (HW)

Postby iMURDAu » Sun Aug 19, 2018 4:09 pm

Get your finger out of my...






face, ya jerk!

You Candidians are so soft you even act out how you'd capitulate to the dinosaurs if they were still around.
Image

Thus I have no reason to fear you. Only dislike, NAY!, hate you. Just wait until I get some free time from drinking myself down to your IQ to sift through the fine granules of rat dander and chaotic parenting that makes up your life to show why I hate you on a nano level. Then I'll blow it up and make it into some big thing and it'll amaze the TCS crowd way more than the first Ant-Man movie. I... set the bar low, I'm aware of that.

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Re: 10 Reasons Why (HW)

Postby JamishT » Sat Aug 25, 2018 7:53 am

You're never gonna get to 10.

Oh well!
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