Hi all, live from Austin, I'm here to tell you about a conspiracy so shocking that even Alex Jones won't cover it. It's about the individual who goes on these forums under the username "iMURDAu," which hackerspeak for "I am going to end your life." Mr. MURDA presents himself as an average Joe who struggles at being the only sane man at a discount retail chain, but is he really? Evidence points to the contrary.
For one thing, Mr. MURDA owns a house, and everybody knows that only rich people own houses. Oh sure, it doesn't look like much, but that's because he sneakily shared a picture of the servants' quarters. Do you see an end to that house? I don't, and that's because it's basically the Forbidden City.
For another thing, Mr. MURDA is a *shudder* libertarian. I know one libertarian who said that cannibalism, killing babies, and standing naked on the street corner handing out candy while covered in your own shit should all be allowed, while another one said (and I paraphrase) that he wants gay people all to have marijuana farms and murder the straight people who try to steal their demon weed. And if one libertarian says these things, you know the rest of them secretly believe it. Besides, everybody knows that libertarianism is secretly a front for the restoration of neo-feudalism, so the 1% can divide up the country and do whatever they want to the serfs on their estates.
So why does MURDA pretend to be a beleaguered average Joe? Well, look at the narrative of his life at work. The character he presents is a Randian hero, the only sane man held back by the incompetence of the sheeple. Inevitably, his story will show him deservedly rising to the top of his chain, just as in the work of Ayn Rand. But the truth is simple: MURDA is a trust-fund member of the 1% writing a Mary Sue fantasy about how he's a self-made man.
Don't believe anything MURDA says. He's a secret member of the 1% who just wants to make your children fight tigers in his private gladiator pits while drinking the blood of puppy-bunny hybrids he vivisected in the search for the fountain of youth. He even has a goatee.