iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby cmsellers » Fri Aug 11, 2017 12:13 am

Hi all, live from Austin, I'm here to tell you about a conspiracy so shocking that even Alex Jones won't cover it. It's about the individual who goes on these forums under the username "iMURDAu," which hackerspeak for "I am going to end your life." Mr. MURDA presents himself as an average Joe who struggles at being the only sane man at a discount retail chain, but is he really? Evidence points to the contrary.

For one thing, Mr. MURDA owns a house, and everybody knows that only rich people own houses. Oh sure, it doesn't look like much, but that's because he sneakily shared a picture of the servants' quarters. Do you see an end to that house? I don't, and that's because it's basically the Forbidden City.

For another thing, Mr. MURDA is a *shudder* libertarian. I know one libertarian who said that cannibalism, killing babies, and standing naked on the street corner handing out candy while covered in your own shit should all be allowed, while another one said (and I paraphrase) that he wants gay people all to have marijuana farms and murder the straight people who try to steal their demon weed. And if one libertarian says these things, you know the rest of them secretly believe it. Besides, everybody knows that libertarianism is secretly a front for the restoration of neo-feudalism, so the 1% can divide up the country and do whatever they want to the serfs on their estates.

So why does MURDA pretend to be a beleaguered average Joe? Well, look at the narrative of his life at work. The character he presents is a Randian hero, the only sane man held back by the incompetence of the sheeple. Inevitably, his story will show him deservedly rising to the top of his chain, just as in the work of Ayn Rand. But the truth is simple: MURDA is a trust-fund member of the 1% writing a Mary Sue fantasy about how he's a self-made man.

Don't believe anything MURDA says. He's a secret member of the 1% who just wants to make your children fight tigers in his private gladiator pits while drinking the blood of puppy-bunny hybrids he vivisected in the search for the fountain of youth. He even has a goatee.
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Re: iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby octoberpumpkin » Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:34 am

I am against children fighting tigers!
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Re: iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby cmsellers » Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:40 am

octoberpumpkin wrote:I am against children fighting tigers!

And some people *coughcoughMURDAcough* would say that makes you a liberal pussy snowflake who thinks parents don't know what's best for their children but the nanny state government does.
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Re: iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby jbobsully11 » Fri Aug 11, 2017 2:06 am

octoberpumpkin wrote:I am against children fighting tigers!

...But enough about who or what should or shouldn't go in sunny's unlicensed backyard pediatric fight pit.

Feelin' the burn of Hate Week? Try Pepcid Complete!
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Crimson847 wrote:In other words, transgender-friendly privacy laws don't molest people, people molest people.

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Re: iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby Australia » Fri Aug 11, 2017 4:32 am

cmsellers wrote:For another thing, Mr. MURDA is a *shudder* libertarian. I know one libertarian who said that cannibalism, killing babies, and standing naked on the street corner handing out candy while covered in your own shit should all be allowed, while another one said (and I paraphrase) that he wants gay people all to have marijuana farms and murder the straight people who try to steal their demon weed. And if one libertarian says these things, you know the rest of them secretly believe it.

As a libertarian, I can confirm this accusation. But also invite people who are objectively wrong to refute it.
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Re: iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby sunglasses » Fri Aug 11, 2017 11:33 am

jbobsully11 wrote:
octoberpumpkin wrote:I am against children fighting tigers!

...But enough about who or what should or shouldn't go in sunny's unlicensed backyard pediatric fight pit.

Feelin' the burn of Hate Week? Try Pepcid Complete!


I have their parents signatures. If they still have parents. You've made some of these children orphans, jbob. Orphans who had to fill out forms in triplicate. And they don't allow crayon, you monster.


HAte week
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Re: iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby iMURDAu » Fri Aug 11, 2017 12:02 pm

Is this a hate week topic? Only a complete idiot would make a topic about another user during hate week and not label the topic or any of their posts.

This is because cmsellers is both a fully completed idiot with all the bells and whistles and believes that rules don't apply to him. Typical behavior for a snowflake coddled by Austin weirdos.

Hey if I was rich would I waste my time online? Here? If that was true I'd hire an illegal immigrant to post for me then force them to write 500 word posts on how they're ruining the economy because I'm racist nationalist. Duh. Pay attention.

Yeah I got a house at age 36 I'm really wealthy don'tcha know. Jeebus fuck man. Libertarian? Where the hell did that come from? I joined that party's email sub list when I was like 16 because I thought they were as advertised but they were just a bunch of right wingers who were pretending to be open minded while choking my inbox with spam. I had to kill an email address because of them! I'm registered as unaffiliated. I'm a free agent, baby. One that isn't interested in joining a team that doesn't represent him.

He's a secret member of the 1% who just wants to make your children fight tigers in his private gladiator pits while drinking the blood of puppy-bunny hybrids he vivisected in the search for the fountain of youth. He even has a goatee.


So I'm not a member of the 1%, secret or otherwise, and I don't have private gladiator pits. That's just my backyard yo. The rest of that is kind of accurate. I call them bunny-puppy hybrids but it's all the same.

I understand that octoberpumpkin is against children fighting tigers. I know it isn't fair for a bipedal killing machine to slaughter a cat without mercy but once in a while a tiger does win.

Hate Week 2017. This product is not a safe alternative to cigarettes.
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“This is going to become a bad meme,” Todd observed.
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Re: iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby cmsellers » Sun Aug 13, 2017 3:57 am

So MURDA admits he subscribed to a libertarian mailing list and exploits illegal immigrants, yet he wonders where my Hate Week disclaimer is?

The answer is simple: as the enemy is a member of the 1% who wants to murder me, I cannot tip my hand by labeling my Hate Week posts.

It's definitely not because I forgot I was supposed to have a disclaimer.
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Re: iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby iMURDAu » Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:17 pm

Simple answer from a simple mind.

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Hate Week 2017. Too many bots, not enough people.
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Re: iMURDAu, average joe or secret corporate overlord?

Postby cmsellers » Sun Aug 13, 2017 7:17 pm

Oh yeah? Well, I know you are but what am I!?

Do we really need HW disclaimers on a HW thread?
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