(HW) A Snake Whacker Among Us (NSFW)

(HW) A Snake Whacker Among Us (NSFW)

Postby Pseudoman » Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:17 am

Cobra-D has being a part of this forum since its infancy. The day he joined was Apr 17- 2013 Cobra-D and first commented in the topic; Introduce yourself:

Re: Introduce Yourself
Cobra-D wrote:Hey i'm cobra, mostly a comment lurker but comment as well. Sure it's mostly about penises but meh.

I like this comment, it tells you so much about Cobra’s character. His grammar is poor, meaning Cobra is either a really chill dude, an illegal immigrant or has a learning illness. What I find most interesting is that Cobra-D clearly has a fascination of the penis. Cobra is a breed of snake and we all know snakes tend to have been referenced as penises. Cobra’s in particular have their hood, which gives the snake a bell end, which makes the snake look more penis-like. An odd looking penis but a penis nonetheless. Finally the ‘-D’ in ‘Cobra-D’s name, what I found special about it is it resembles a bell end. Surely as time passed we’ll begin to learn more about Cobra-D, except…

Spoiler alert, Cobra-D has been dead for the last four years!!!

The Crime Scene
On April 21 2013, 6:48 am, Cobra-D suffered a volatile reaction that occurred around the head and tragically died
Re: The Animaniacs -A pic I found that explains a gag I miss
Cobra-D wrote:*head explodes*

No one particularly cared for his death, the only person who took note was Ganymede314, who gave him his last up-vote, a day after Cobra’s demise. Whether it was out of pittance or celebratory is undeterminable. Despite his death, Cobra-D messaged 8 hours later in the ‘Re: Movie Night 4/20 Log (The craption live show!)’ Thread. Yet Cobra-D seemed a bit out of character.

Re: Movie Night 4/20 Log (The craption live show!)
Cobra-D wrote:I'm so mad, my stupid connection failed on me just when it was getting to the side boob. Next time i'll be ready though

I’m sorry but when did Cobra-D ever care for breasts, second how come Cobra-D forgot to put a full stop at the end of his comment. Cobra-D before his death always put a full stop at the end of his comments he was poor with grammar but he always remembered, full stops go at the end. The exception was his last comment but I believe he had no time to place the full stop, as his head would’ve finished exploding. I look through Cobra-D's post history and find this comment.
Re: Movie Night
Cobra-D wrote:Awesome, i'll bring the popcorn. No butter though cause i'll get a muffin top.

Clearly the murderer posted this comment so the rest of us wouldn't notice that Cobra-D was dead, except why did this person have poor grammar like Cobra-D and shares a sexual deviancy with Cobra-D because Members of TCS we’re dealing with an impostor. From now on we will refer this impostor as Cobra-F (if it isn’t clear the ‘F’ stands for ‘Fake’).

As I stand naked in front of the pin up chart and threaded evidence. One question I want to know is why? What’s the underlying motive for all this madness?

Was is it a means to steal his account?

Unlikely, at the time of Cobra-D’s death he only had 3 upvotes to his name, I’m no up-vote economy expert but that’s chump change. Why you can make a post on any trump thread saying ‘Trump is a bad man’ and you will guarantee yourself at least 5 up votes, why Cobra-F is exploiting this fact, since that’s his most active sub.

It wasn’t like Cobra-D had any admin controls or even a meme to be exploited. No, he was a complete nobody and I fail to see why anyone would murder for a measly 3 up votes. You would have to be the most pathetic person to do that.

So why? Cobra-F was clearly pretending to be Cobra-D, with the bad grammar and sexual deviancy. Wait I wonder… As I look over his posts, involving topics such as;

Sexual Harrasment towards women in general
Spoiler: show
Re: The Apology Thread
Cobra-D wrote:I'm sorry that i'm extremely awesome and all the ladies love me. I try to work on this but, I dont know i just cant stop myself i guess.

Re: What's Your Love Language?
Cobra-D wrote:10 Quality Time
6 Physical Touch
5 Acts of Service
5 Words of Affirmation
4 Receiving Gift

Not surprising i just want to spend time with someone while touching them.....ladies

Spoiler: show
Re: #GiveYourMoneyToWomen is trending
Cobra-D wrote:..................is........is this a hooker thing?

Re: Anyone up for a secret santa?
Cobra-D wrote:You know what, forget you guys, I'm leaving this place and starting my OWN forum, where everyone gets a hooker! thatll show you!

*kicks a chair down as he leaves*

Help Cobra spend 200 a month!
Cobra-D wrote:So I recently got done with car payments so yay which leaves me with about 200 to either save or invest into something else like bonds or stocks or hookers. The only thing i'm not really sure what to do with it and will probably end up spending it on something stupid like I don't know a selfie sick or something. So what do you think i should do with it? other then buy like 200 bucks worth of lotto tickets.

Cobra's crazy idea brought on by lack of sleep
Cobra-D wrote:Uh, hey everybody. You guys...look good, very um fit. So uh....yeah........


Well that's my idea, tell me what you guys think or have any crazy ideas of your own.

OH! and it could have blackjack!!! and HOOKERS! on second thought, forget the book store.

To his infatuation of Emma Watson
Spoiler: show
Re: Who is your "ideal" of male and/or female beauty?
Cobra-D wrote:[snip]
Oh Emma, Someday you'll be mine.

Re: Noah
Cobra-D wrote:....Okay so what i gathered for this is Emma Watson, Emma Watson, Emma Watson, sex scene, Emma Watson, Emma Watson, Possible incest.....Yeah i'll end up seeing this movie then

Appraising Women in "Pics or you didn’t happen"
Spoiler: show
Re: Pics, or you didn't happen
Cobra-D wrote:
Paradox wrote:[snip]

I just looked at the pic before reading the text and thought you were showing off your butt. Then i read just the first three words, and got really confused. It looks nice by the way....the hair not your butt! I mean your butt looks nice too not like i was looking at it though....i'll shut up now.

Re: Pics, or you didn't happen
Cobra-D wrote:
Sybyll Adastra wrote:[snip]

idk, I think you look good already, you seem to be attractive and have a nice hour glass figure, also if I may say if you walk in with your itty bitty waist and your round thing in their face, they'll get sprung...just saying from a scientific stand point. So yeah you look nice, cept maybe your hair which i'm not a fan of but that's just not my preference so you can just ignore me.

Re:-Pics, or you didn't happen
Cobra-D wrote:
DemonicaDanger wrote:[Snip]

I don't know whether to be frightened or aroused....maybe mixture if both

All these comments have one thing in common, they're sexual deviancy in a heterosexual context but what I find odd there's particularly no mention of the word penis. Out of curiosity I searched for the word penis.

Only 5 results from 696, that’s less than 1%
And all the responses involving penis, post Cobra-D’s death are in heterosexual context, no homosexual undertones to be found… That’s it!

See if someone was pretending to be Cobra-D they would’ve noticed his fascination for penises and at least make Cobra-D bi-sexual. Cobra-F didn’t want that, he wanted us to see that Cobra-D was a 100% heterosexual male. Cobra-F was covering up Cobra-D’s homosexuality.
So I search Cobra-F’s history for any topics on homosexuality and see if his violent to homosexuals and I find this:

Do I need to say anymore, Cobra-D was a closeted homosexual and was going to come out, however someone who didn’t like this caught wind and killed him and impersonated him online to solidify him as a heterosexual but why so long. I look deeper and I’ve found evidence where Cobra-F has an emotional breakdown of just the thought of him being gay;
Re: Pics, or you didn't happen
Cobra-D wrote:
Sheogorath wrote:[Snip]

*Looks at Sheogorath picture*

My god.......i'm straight, i'm straight, i'm straight.

*Looks at Sheogorath picture again.*

So of a bitch, i'm straight.
*begins to sob*

Why Cobra-F wouldn’t have a had that great of a breakdown, unless… He was insecure himself and happen to be involved with Cobra-D and just like that it comes together. Cobra-F and Cobra-D once engaged in sexual acts, however Cobra-F believed these acts to be ‘no-homo’ but could these acts be called ‘no-homo’ if a homosexual was involved. That’s why Cobra-F killed Cobra-D, this is the motive.

Conclusion/ Summary:
Cobra-D was a closeted homosexual and was expecting to come out online, Cobra-F was friends with Cobra-D but didn’t know about Cobra-D’s preferences despite engaging sexual activities with him. Cobra-D confided in Cobra-F about coming out but Cobra-F was confused and enraged that the acts they shared were not ‘No-Homo’ but rather ‘Half-Homo’.

On April 21 2013, 6:34 AM Cobra-D was killed by Cobra-F, died at his desk, his last words were ‘*Head Exploded*’. After ditching the corpse, Cobra-F read through Cobra-D’s history and realised that Cobra-D posted on the TCS saying he’ll join the movie live stream, Cobra-F noticed Cobra-D was dead and couldn’t make it and worried about Cobra-D not participating will raise some flags, he assumed Cobra-D’s identity and joined the livestream. Later Cobra-F posted a comment as a means to make Cobra-D appear alive but more importantly looking very heterosexual.

Re: Movie Night 4/20 Log (The craption live show!)
Cobra-D wrote:I'm so mad, my stupid connection failed on me just when it was getting to the side boob. Next time i'll be ready though

Throughout his TCS career Cobra-F who guised as Cobra-D, posted comments that reinforced his heterosexual persona such as posting positive feedback on pictures of women in the ‘pics or you didn’t happen’ thread, his infatuation for Emma Watson, continuous mentioning’s of hookers and finally posting controversial homosexual new-stories and giving them titles such as ‘Kill all Gays’. He does this to convince himself what he did wasn’t ‘half-homo’ but rather it was all ‘no-homo’.

Cobra-F is guilty of first degree murder of Cobra-D, identity theft, poor grammar and the theft of three up-votes. I demand that the moderators do their part and give Cobra-D three down votes to counterbalance the up-votes he stole or you know locking him out of his account will be suffice.

Brought to you by Hate Week, killing minorities to increase their monetary value.
  • 16

In the defense of Nazi's they do have a good sense of fashion.
User avatar
Frequent Poster
Frequent Poster
Posts: 116
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2015 8:58 am
Show rep

Re: (HW) A Snake Whacker Among Us (NSFW)

Postby blehblah » Wed Aug 09, 2017 5:47 pm

While I can't condone the content and applaud the stated values of the Pseudo Man's post, I do question the length; it clearly gives too much credit to the girth of cobra's impact.

Side note, what do you call a circumcised cobra-d?

A complete jerk-off.

Hate is a curious thing - it wants to know all the reasons love is so, so wrong, moist, and gross, just like all of us.

Joke clearly stolen from Norm Macdonald, may he rest in peace.
  • 8

A quantum state of signature may or may not be here... you just ruined it.
User avatar
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
Posts: 3891
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:16 pm
Show rep
Title: Error General, Panic Colonel

Re: (HW) A Snake Whacker Among Us (NSFW)

Postby Australia » Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:19 pm

  • 13

YamI JamesT Eyebrows Edgar Logan Eric Michael Tess Sunny Notch Kate Jamish Lao Carp Moo FaceCitizen Aquila Nisi Qinglong Chaise Nullbert NotCIAagent JackRoad Delta MURDA Bert Czar Ambi JulyJack Adric Marcuse SilverMaple Nudge 52xMax Damiana Doma Pumpkin Toy Fry Andro Carrie Snarky Royal RLG Pikajew Windy skooma Kleiner Java Sellers Piter Gisarmbards Grimstone Recluse Esteban Syrup Krashlia Twistappel MacReady Funkotron mcfooty Pseudoman Creepy Kivutar nerd Ladki Jim Youghurt satan GL Angler
User avatar
Resident Dickhead
Resident Dickhead
Posts: 4224
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:15 pm
Location: Take a wild guess
Show rep
Title: Kentucky Fried Colonel

Re: (HW) A Snake Whacker Among Us (NSFW)

Postby Doodle Dee. Snickers » Fri Aug 11, 2017 4:33 pm

This is an Internet forum. There are almost certainly multiple snake whackers among us.
  • 8

Doodle Dee. Snickers
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
Posts: 2730
Joined: Mon May 06, 2013 8:15 pm
Show rep

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests