***WARNING***
THE FOLLOWING POST MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING AND/OR FRIGHTFUL INFORMATION. THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING.
THE FOLLOWING POST MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING AND/OR FRIGHTFUL INFORMATION. THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING.
This is one of the most difficult posts I've ever made, and I've stripped the bark from locust wood posts in the hot hot sun! I feel I must sound the alarm about one of our members, he is one of our most loved, but the secrets I've uncovered may test that love. You may have already guessed who I'm talking about by using the powers of logic on the title of this thread, but if you are still stumped like that locust tree that my dad cut down to make fence posts out of, I'm afraid he's already gotten to you.
Here are some things I've uncovered about this individual who has a mud puddle for a soul:
He calls himself a "token homo". Not a $2000 homo, not even a $100 homo, he will do homosexual things for a mere token!
Chris Hansen is now inviting you to take a seat, you impossibly bad person!
He claims that he is an ant! Is he a shapeshifter? That's the only possible explanation I can think of, because I'm about 99.33333333% certain that ants are unable to communicate with humans outside of biting!
He complains about "being so hairy". As has already been established, he probably is a shapeshifter, so I feel secure in assuming that he made that post WHILE IN THE FORM OF A WEREWOLF.
But you don't complain about KILLING PEOPLE, IT SEEMS.
One of the things on his alleged bucket list is something called "Master drawing". Now, I'm not entirely sure, but by using deductive reasoning, I believe he is communicating his Confederate sympathies. Not only does he wish slavery were still a thing, he wishes to be a slave! To make things inexplicably worse, he wishes to be a slave that doesn't even do physical labor! While the other slaves are laboring in whatever fields his master owns, this walking sleep paralysis episode wants to be indoors, sketching portraits of his master. Perhaps he believes that if he is chained like a slave, his werewolf periods will result in fewer problems for him! That's a very selfish reason to wish the South had won!
Now, here's the worst thing, I've found so far. This will shock you more than the electric fencing we put on those aforementioned locust wood fenceposts. I recommend protecting your screen from any chance of a child or other innocent person looking upon the things I am about to reveal. This is in fact an additional warning, the situation is so dire, the information so horrific, that I felt it necessary. Ready?
Take one last breath!
This:
The one at whom the Grinch recoils in horror wrote: Kids are delicious, especially infants, served with ketchup on top and a side of stray kittens.
EXCUSE ME! We have a cannibal among us! A shapeshifting, Confederate, unbelievably cheap prostitute who enjoys eating human babies! He may talk about being gay, but the above quote points to a habit of slaying pussy! This cannot stand. I beg of you, my fellow decent members of this blessed forum, join me in driving this source of emotional darkness from our midst! May we never stop until his name is forgotten!
This post brought to you by Hate Week, and the John T. & Catherine D. MacArthur Foundation.