5 Ways Every Movie Misunderstands Guns

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5 Ways Every Movie Misunderstands Guns

Postby BinaryStep » Fri Feb 12, 2016 4:46 am

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-ever ... ands-guns/

At this point, Title Guy's just fucking with us.
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Re: 5 Ways Every Movie Misunderstands Guns

Postby Twistappel » Fri Feb 12, 2016 5:51 pm

I just assumed that Title Guy is the actual Devil, and this is what he does in his downtime.
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Re: 5 Ways Every Movie Misunderstands Guns

Postby Matthew Notch » Mon Feb 15, 2016 8:03 am

It's a weird title, all right, but what weirds me out more is the reference to that Men in Black scene as evidence that gun hoarders are the true heroes. As far as I know, that family didn't even know that stash of guns was there, which is why they look reasonably surprised a couple guys in suits show up, open an entire wall of their home, and proceed to raid an armory to stop the alien menace. Unless his argument was that it was weird for Kay, a government agent whose job is to defend the Earth, sometimes by means of lethal force, to have a stash of guns, which makes even less sense and sort of works against the following bullet point, which wonders why the guys actually hired to use guns aren't portrayed as heroes anymore.

Also this line makes me intensely uncomfortable...

Spoiler: show
When Colin Firth shoots up the Westboro Baptist Church in Kingsman, we all pump our fists at the stylish brutality because the hero is murdering assholes.


Holy shit NO we did NOT pump our fists at that because it was so justified. Seriously?

Now it was a compelling scene because it demonstrated how dangerous a weapon like Colin Firth would be in the hands of the bad guys. It was supposed to be unsettling, not something that fills us with righteous fervor. And if anyone was pumping their fists at the scene... well that's because it was beautifully choreographed and exquisitely filmed. Even for someone like me who really can't hack too much blood and gore, I could appreciate the quality of the shot just because of how stylized it was, how FICTIONAL it was. I wasn't glad because the people getting killed deserved it. I just thought it looked cool, while at the same time it was pretty depressing.

I'm not particularly for or against guns, maybe I'd be happier if there were less of them, but at any rate there are way better ways to make that case than to write an article about how even though it's not Hollywood's fault Americans have such an obsession with guns, there are lots of examples of how Hollywood glorifies guns that probably influence Americans in some sort of way that doesn't make it Hollywood's fault. Or something.

It sort of feels like an agenda with an article shoehorned around it. Which... is that how a shoehorn works? I actually haven't seen one in a long time, and I also suspect any shoe I'd need to horn my foot into would be immensely uncomfortable, but again, I don't actually know.
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Re: 5 Ways Every Movie Misunderstands Guns

Postby BinaryStep » Mon Feb 15, 2016 8:53 am

Kingsman spoilers
Spoiler: show
I think the worst part of the Kingsman line is that Harry wasn't even in control of his actions because of the violence-inducing SIM cards. It wasn't some crazed gun nut getting revenge on Westboro, it was the fucking villain of the movie using him as a murder machine.

Hell, the movie even cuts to Eggsy's horrified reaction as he watches this unfold. The only person who isn't horrified? THE VILLAIN!
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Last edited by Dr. Ambiguous on Tue Feb 23, 2016 6:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Added spoiler tags
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Re: 5 Ways Every Movie Misunderstands Guns

Postby Twistappel » Mon Feb 15, 2016 5:54 pm

Matthew Notch wrote:
Spoiler: show
When Colin Firth shoots up the Westboro Baptist Church in Kingsman, we all pump our fists at the stylish brutality because the hero is murdering assholes.


Holy shit NO we did NOT pump our fists at that because it was so justified. Seriously?

Kingsmen Spoilers
Yeah, I can't say I got much of a fist-pumping vibe from that scene. If I recall correctly (I can't be bothered re-watching the movie right now) the people Firth's character kills are being mind-controlled too. His subsequent horror at what he has done is such that it's almost a relief when the bad guys put him out of his misery in the next scene.
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You say "New World Order" "communist echo chamber" like it's a bad thing.

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Re: 5 Ways Every Movie Misunderstands Guns

Postby blehblah » Tue Feb 23, 2016 4:54 am

Well, okay - no, what?

How's that for an intro?

Firth's character beating the living daylights *cough* out of everyone was fun because of how it was filmed. I rooted for his character. While I was watching it (on an airplane, mind) my brain was already writing the best season of Walking Dead, ever. The scene was punctuated with a drag point, because slaughtering people like a comic book character should never be done without pathos, mmmkay, but damn was it fun to watch.

Spoiler: show
Though, let's face it - if The Walking Dead had to incorporate Mr. Darcy, they'd do it on a farm somewhere in England, and put the entire cast of Dowton Abbey in it. I can envision at least three, maybe even five, seasons. Long story short, Carl marries the most annoying servant, then shoots her in the head after she mistakes a steak knife for a butter knife. Shortly after, the cutlery maid shoots Carl in the head because she pities the viewers.


I'm sorry - my name is BlehBlah, and I enjoyed, against all expectations, that movie.

What were we talking about?

Oh, guns. Yeah. Movies not reflecting reality about guns, as opposed to everything else movies not called 'documentaries' get wrong, and even then...

Yes, indeed, the guns are all up in arms about their misrepresentation.

It is pop culture commenting on pop culture. Just enjoy it, folks.
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Re: 5 Ways Every Movie Misunderstands Guns

Postby SandTea » Mon Feb 29, 2016 2:28 am

Matthew Notch wrote:It's a weird title, all right, but what weirds me out more is the reference to that Men in Black scene as evidence that gun hoarders are the true heroes. As far as I know, that family didn't even know that stash of guns was there, which is why they look reasonably surprised a couple guys in suits show up, open an entire wall of their home, and proceed to raid an armory to stop the alien menace. Unless his argument was that it was weird for Kay, a government agent whose job is to defend the Earth, sometimes by means of lethal force, to have a stash of guns, which makes even less sense and sort of works against the following bullet point, which wonders why the guys actually hired to use guns aren't portrayed as heroes anymore.


I don't remember the plot much. They fight a snake lady right? Anyway the other examples were way worse. Sarah Conner literally knows the future is going to have a robot war and that she'll be involved and the whole point of the Tremors couple was that they were crazy gun nuts. It. Was. The. Joke. They just happened to be useful. The author seems to be making the argument (I only read that first point so far) that in any real world scenario these things would be frowned upon and in each case they still are... so, uh good job?
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