5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

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5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby Ladki96 » Wed Nov 18, 2015 5:12 am

Ooookay? Cracked has literally baffled me this time. Excuse me, how can the article say I don't feel these things without reading my mind? I may be an asshole sometimes but I do know everyone is struggling inside. The first page of this article was summed up a long time ago in a single statement - "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." This article is good but Cracked could have done it a lot better by not inserting 'You' at every point.
Or, you find your partner cheating on you. You didn't see all of the dozens of times he had the urge and resisted. You only see the moment he finally gave in. And you want to fucking kill him for it.

So, cheating is a-okay? I have not yet experienced the disgusting feelings of love, but if one's partner has to restrain themself that much, perhaps they shouldn't be in a committed relationship with that one in the first place?
My family went to India a couple of years ago. All of the streets smell like piss!

See, that would be an insult if it weren't actually true.
Why do Christians seem so obsessed with homosexuality? Why have they decided gay marriage is the one issue capable of exterminating the light of the righteous from the universe forever?

Excuse me? From countless good Christians, the article picks a small minority and ascribes that thinking to all of them!
I smile and nod and think, "Yep, that was me! I thought that same condescending bullshit!" Spoiler: I was wrong.

Really? You seem born intelligent. Edit: Okay that was unnecessary, sorry.
"Well now, wait a second," you say, "that just brings us back to the blame question that you never got around to answering. If we can't truly know how hard somebody fought the impulse to do the shitty thing he just did, then how do we know when it's okay to call him an asshole?"
Hmmm. Good question. [Unrelated cute Youtube video]

Aaand the article ends there. I am just going to go write my exam while thinking how much of a horrible person I am, then. Bye!

Edit: And I predictably forgot to read the comments as usual. Reallifegirl, you're awesome!
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby sunglasses » Wed Nov 18, 2015 5:27 am

I'm too sleepy to answer you properly, but, this is my placeholder saying I didn't have the same issues with this article.

I viewed it more as "Hey, jackass, the world isn't always how you think it is."
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby KleinerKiller » Wed Nov 18, 2015 5:37 am

Took a look, didn't care for it, as is usually the case. It's definitely not as bad as some of what Wong publishes these days, but it still bears the watermarks that I've come to hate and I can't really find anything I agree with that wasn't already obvious. But I'll respect the opinions of anyone else who liked it more than normal.

Also, I got a little nostalgic scrolling through the old Cracked comment section to find RLG's post. Those were the days.
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby AboveGL » Wed Nov 18, 2015 9:43 am

By bluejupiter1:

"Look at all the times I didn't f**k up!" is not an effective excuse. I could not cheat for 90 years, but as soon as I did, I'm not going to say "I didn't do it for 90 years". I'm going to be down on my knees begging forgiveness and probably crying because dammit I did f**k up.

Its not about intentions, its not about the personal battles you have inside. When you ACT, when your thoughts become actions that hurt others, your previous successes mean nothing. You're previous wins don't mean s**t because they only thing they accomplished was NOT pissing off your significant other, or in regards to temper, NOT shitting over everyone else's day. Yes, we all fail. Yes, we make mistakes and we shouldn't be called the "angry asshole" or "cheater mccheaterson" after one or two mistakes (maybe the cheating one, but that's debatable and depends on the relationship). However, you still fucked up. You are still to blame, because you DID fail to control it and you affected other people.

We need to own our mistakes. If we don't own our mistakes and identify why we made them, we don't grow.


I like this person.

And as always, well said RLG!
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby williamthallis » Wed Nov 18, 2015 1:47 pm

Ladki96 wrote:Ooookay? Cracked has literally baffled me this time. Excuse me, how can the article say I don't feel these things without reading my mind?


I skipped this article. But you are clearly not understanding that you DO feel and say these things, you just don't know it. DW, in his status as a Bodhisattva, has voluntarily come back into the cycle of suffering after attaining Samadhi to tell you how you really feel since he is the only self aware sentient being capable of self reflection, and is thus not only qualified, but obligated to tell everyone else how bad of a person they are, and the ways to improve it.

Really, it'd be selfish for him not to. You should be writing him a thank you letter for telling you how you really feel. If you'd only start thinking for yourself by letting him tell you how you really feel to improve the miserable life that you have the delusion you cling to that it's not miserable (which, given in harsh truth form, will be shattered), then you too can become a Bodhi- wait no, that's right, only DW is capable of being the only sentient being who controls his actions in his mechanistic universe.

It's really just a sign of how right he is that you think he's wrong.
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby Marcuse » Wed Nov 18, 2015 2:54 pm

DavidWong wrote:I smile and nod and think, "Yep, that's me! I think that condescending bullshit!"


FTFY

Seriously, I find these "harsh truths" articles to be the worst kind of article Wong writes. They're preachy from the outset, describing to us like we're idiots that we're idiots and only the sainted Wong can deliver us from the profound stupidity we suffer from, as the one eyed man leads the kingdom of the blind. Except we're not just blind, we're the blind dead, so we can't even hope to learn from this revelation of truf from the Master Wong himself.

As the comment that AGL posted, it doesn't matter if you've thought about something and not done it a million times, it matters what you do. This is actually something that's a common problem: the conflation of acts and thoughts. Some people act well but berate themselves for bad thoughts, and others act badly but claim their good thoughts mean it's either justified or forgivable. It's a really strange thing to see, because I'm firmly of the belief that it matters what you do, and if you think a bad thing then it's not really a problem until you act on it. Otherwise I'd be berating myself for persistent suicidal thoughts all the time, but that wouldn't really be fair, would it? I could do it, but I don't.

As for people not knowing their limits, or being blindsided by flaws. Well yeah that might be true of teenagers, and maybe this article is directed at them. But speaking as someone with a family pushing 30, I'm fucking painfully aware of my limitations and absolutely have to work around them. There's no pie in the sky planning with me, so this point falls entirely flat to me. As does the idea that we all perceive the same thing the same way, I've been aware of that for a long time too. Both of those render point 3 a little flat too, because of course I'd forgive myself a problem I'm prepared to empathise with someone else on.

Lastly, I'm unsure what point 1 is even about. It's saying we offer pointless solutions that don't work then get angry when they don't work...but derails almost immediately into bashing religion with no real relevance to the topic title. He weakly states that his wrong and bad religious upbringing made him a homophobe and therefore anything he said in that state was inherently incorrect and prejudicial, but that he wouldn't think it was. I think that's actually suffering from the same fallacy he's arguing against, because I strongly doubt that people who oppose the liberal politics he's supporting genuinely think they're doing something bad and wrong and revel in being evil. Maybe...he should look at the battle inside, and forgive people for things he forgives himself for.
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby Tesseracts » Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:26 pm

As a general rule, I'm skeptical of people who claim to be ex-jerks. It's like people who claim to be ex-gay. They're probably just gay. Or, if they're not, it's likely they were never that gay in the first place.

You'd have gotten a similar opinion from me regarding anyone outside my group, in fact. If you'd driven me through the projects, I'd have calmly explained that if I was born there, I'd get a part-time job, save up some cash, and move the hell out! I walked around every day patting myself on the back for overcoming urges I didn't even feel, to make myself feel better about the ones I was giving in to on a daily basis. My years of asshole experience are probably why I'm so fascinated with the Internet's fat-hating obsession today. I bring it up a lot, and it's because every time some clueless 20 year old says, "Losing weight is simple: It's calories in, calories out! All you need is a little self-respect!" I smile and nod and think, "Yep, that was me! I thought that same condescending bullshit!"


It seems a little condescending to me to say the concept of weight loss can only be supported by clueless 20 year olds. I think the belief that weight loss isn't possible is an inadequate substitute for actual compassion for fat people. You should have compassion for people with both curable and incurable problems. Further, you should judge people based on their important traits not based on their eating habits. It just seems like he substituted one kind of prejudice for another.

That said, I think the intended audience for this article may actually benefit from it. Clueless, closed minded young men may read this and think "maybe I have been thinking about this all wrong!" People like that will take Wong more seriously because of his harsh, aggressive attitude, because they consider this behavior a marker of high social status. It's the same reason people listen to speakers such as Donald Trump, and decide he is "telling it like it is" even though he objectively makes no sense. They think if someone demonstrates they don't care what other people think they are more likely to be right.
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby Knicholas » Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:56 pm

As a general rule, I'm skeptical of people who claim to be ex-jerks. It's like people who claim to be ex-gay.


Fair enough to be skeptical, but people do change and grow. I was a bit of a small minded jerk when I was younger, but have changed. Sexual orientation is really not a good comparison. I note that some of the jerks I knew in high school became friends in later life, and NOT because they were jerks.

That said, I disliked several aspects of this article. I object to the Christian = homophobe statement. I will not go into why it's wrong to make that statement. I also object to giving credit to people for not being angry at trivialities. You shouldn't be angry at trivialities. I don't give credit to people for not randomly spouting profanity or racial epithets either. It's the same as cheating: "But honey! Think of all the times I DIDN'T bang you sister!"

Now, who wants to give me a cookie for not making a wrong/wong pun?
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby Taluun » Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:57 pm

Tesseracts wrote: Clueless, closed minded young men may read this and think "maybe I have been thinking about this all wrong!"


As opposed to the clueless, close minded young women who may read it?
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby ShuaiGuy » Wed Nov 18, 2015 4:11 pm

<Redacted>
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Last edited by ShuaiGuy on Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby Crimson847 » Wed Nov 18, 2015 4:27 pm

"Harsh truths that will make you less of a jerk"

Next you'll tell me you've got some gasoline that will make fire less hot.
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby Tesseracts » Wed Nov 18, 2015 4:41 pm

Taluun wrote:
Tesseracts wrote: Clueless, closed minded young men may read this and think "maybe I have been thinking about this all wrong!"


As opposed to the clueless, close minded young women who may read it?

I said that because I believe the target audience for Wong's articles are young men. That's why he speaks like an angry father figure who thinks you're doing everything all wrong and need "harsh truths." I don't mean women and old people are completely excluded, just that they are less likely influenced by this style of writing.
Knicholas wrote:
As a general rule, I'm skeptical of people who claim to be ex-jerks. It's like people who claim to be ex-gay.


Fair enough to be skeptical, but people do change and grow. I was a bit of a small minded jerk when I was younger, but have changed. Sexual orientation is really not a good comparison. I note that some of the jerks I knew in high school became friends in later life, and NOT because they were jerks.

That said, I disliked several aspects of this article. I object to the Christian = homophobe statement. I will not go into why it's wrong to make that statement. I also object to giving credit to people for not being angry at trivialities. You shouldn't be angry at trivialities. I don't give credit to people for not randomly spouting profanity or racial epithets either. It's the same as cheating: "But honey! Think of all the times I DIDN'T bang you sister!"

Now, who wants to give me a cookie for not making a wrong/wong pun?

I don't mean it's a perfect analogy. People can change, they just usually don't.

As for the cheating argument, Simpsons did it first.

Milhouse: Then, let's just say, I don't care what people think of me anymore.
Bart: You mean, up until now you did care? Then why did you wear that tutu to school last week?
Milhouse: What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu?! Nobody ever brings those up!
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby NathanLoiselle » Wed Nov 18, 2015 6:54 pm

I feel that I should note that I hate Wong at this point. He's just an annoying gnat.
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby reallifegirl » Wed Nov 18, 2015 7:31 pm

Ladki96 wrote:Edit: And I predictably forgot to read the comments as usual. Reallifegirl, you're awesome!


KleinerKiller wrote:Also, I got a little nostalgic scrolling through the old Cracked comment section to find RLG's post. Those were the days.


AboveGL wrote:And as always, well said RLG!


Thank you, you guys!!! :D


I kind of like the article but am also wary of taking it without caveats because 1) you can take it too far in the other direction, and use your reasons for your behavior as carte blanche to do what you please, 2) take your reasons as a defeatist and assume you'll never overcome them, and 3) using your reasons to manipulate/hurt others, or excuse the actions others take to manipulate/hurt you.

And I admit to raise my eyebrow at the sudden switch mid-article to homophobia discussion. Admittedly, I have a pony in the race when it comes to people discussing organized religion. But when "Christians" are treated as equal "homophobes" in their entirities, it does come across as Wong saying, "Don't judge other people for their faults and failures, LIKE ALL THESE JACKHOLE WASTES OF SPACE, AMIRITE?"

And somebody in the comments section brought it up, but I admit I'm a little curious about why Wong threw infidelity in there. Gladstone already wrote an article urging people not to judge others for cheating right after he wrote in his articles about getting divorced, so maybe I'm just getting suspicious.
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Re: 5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Postby Tesseracts » Wed Nov 18, 2015 8:33 pm

RLG, you had a good point about people who play the victim. It seems to me like abusive people almost always act like they're victims as a form of manipulation.

I believe society is often too judgmental of people who cheat. Society treats it like an unforgivable sin and often doesn't bother to examine the motivations. When infidelity happens there are usually things we don't know about. The partner who was cheated on may be abusive, or neglecting sexual needs without a reason. The cheater may be a closeted homosexual. There's a billion reasons I can think of why you might want to think twice before judging a cheater. "All the times they didn't cheat" just happens to not be one of them.

I'm not a religious person, but I read that part of the article again and I don't think it's bad. I think Wong is right. Christianity is obsessed with homosexuals. Especially back in the 80s/90s, when he probably grew up. Popular American opinion on gay people has shifted a LOT in the past decade. He had a religious upbringing and he is talking about what his experience taught him. I think he is correct about the reasons behind homophobia, a combination of traditional values about what a family "should" be, and a complete failure to empathize with the perspective of somebody who experiences same sex attraction. I don't see where exactly in the article he claims Christianity is the same thing as gay hating. I assume he is still Christian, but has shifted his perspective, just as many Christians have in modern times. He does blame his behavior on being socially conservative, but not on religion specifically.
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