8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

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8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby Paradox » Sun Oct 25, 2015 4:58 pm

8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

(Mildly NSFW)

So, yeah...look, I enjoy trying different stuff. Some out of the ordinary positions are pretty good. But there's a reason the missionary, doggy style, female cowboy, etc. passed off to history as "traditional positions". That's because people have done them a metric fuckton of times and realized that they are really good. And by good I mean pleasurable, easy, and intuitive.

So, please, let's give the traditionals their due credit. They are way more likely to end your night with satisfaction, rather than a trip to the ER.
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby BROWNRECLUSE » Sun Oct 25, 2015 5:13 pm

I'd recommend the "Widow's Peak", but then I'd likely find myself on several watchlists.
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby sunglasses » Sun Oct 25, 2015 6:05 pm

....I thought this said sex potions.

I am very, very disappointed.
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby Matthew Notch » Sun Oct 25, 2015 6:23 pm

I think I've discussed this before, but in case anyone missed it, my favorite sexual maneuver is probably "The Lion King".

Spoiler: show
Have sex in whatever position seems to work for you, and just when the man is about to climax he throws his head back and goes "NAAAAAAAAAAASEBAYNYAAAAAAA"

Then you take a little spunk on the tip of your thumb, rub it across your partner's forehead while chuckling softly to yourself, and go "It is time!"
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby BROWNRECLUSE » Sun Oct 25, 2015 6:42 pm

sunglasses wrote:....I thought this said sex potions.

I am very, very disappointed.


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"It's called 'Sex Panther', by Odeon"
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby Anglerphobe » Sun Oct 25, 2015 6:45 pm

Paradox wrote:They are way more likely to end your night with satisfaction, rather than a trip to the ER.


Who said those things are mutually exclusive?
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby DoglovingJim » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:05 am

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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby Aquila89 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:36 am

Yeah, I always thought that stuff like that is invented for couples who are getting bored and would try anything to spice it up. The risk of penile fracture is a real turn-on.
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby Jack Road » Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:11 am

My idea is to design a couple's app that asks for you and your partner's (potentially disparate) height, weight, and level of fitness. Then it shows you positions in the karma sutra that you can already do, and each day gives you exercises you and your partner can do that will slowly allow you to unlock more and more positions. Each time you check off that you have done a position you gain points. Those points you can spend on things for both of you. Slowly building up to a couple's vacation in some exotic locale. Whole thing paid for by an unobtrusive ad banner at the bottom of the app screen.
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby Matthew Notch » Tue Nov 03, 2015 2:26 pm

...

"Why yes, I totally did the bridge last night. Now gimme my points!"
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby Jack Road » Wed Nov 04, 2015 8:13 am

You've spotted a major flaw. However, my thought is that it either doesn't matter, as long as ad revenue keeps pace with user progress. Or proof could be required somehow...
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby DoglovingJim » Wed Nov 04, 2015 8:23 am

Jack Road wrote:You've spotted a major flaw. However, my thought is that it either doesn't matter, as long as ad revenue keeps pace with user progress. Or proof could be required somehow...


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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby blehblah » Thu Nov 19, 2015 2:10 pm

Paradox wrote:That's because people have done ... a metric fuckton


That's, like, a European maneuver, right?

I wonder where Brits sit on metric fuckton'ing. The US is obviously all about imperial fuckton'ing, while Canada is firmly of the metric fuckton'ing position, but the Brits are like half-and-half fuckton'ing.

And then there's Australia, where they metric fuckton down-under. It puts a whole new spin on "the last of the V-8 interceptors", that's for sure.
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby Australia » Thu Nov 19, 2015 2:34 pm

blehblah wrote:And then there's Australia, where they metric fuckton down-under.

Meillusion fuckton down-under. A metric is something a whore does for money.
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Or cocaine.
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Re: 8 Seemingly Impossible Sex Positions Tested In Real Life

Postby Paradox » Thu Nov 19, 2015 4:59 pm

blehblah wrote:
Paradox wrote:That's because people have done ... a metric fuckton


That's, like, a European maneuver, right?

I wonder where Brits sit on metric fuckton'ing. The US is obviously all about imperial fuckton'ing, while Canada is firmly of the metric fuckton'ing position, but the Brits are like half-and-half fuckton'ing.

And then there's Australia, where they metric fuckton down-under. It puts a whole new spin on "the last of the V-8 interceptors", that's for sure.

I can't respond for any of those, as I'm South American.

Which you left out.

You continentalist. Wait, you mentioned some specific countries too. So...landist?

Oh, fuck this.
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