The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish It

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The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish It

Postby Ladki96 » Fri Oct 16, 2015 3:29 pm

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-sex-sce ... ublish-it/

The Sex Scene That's Such Shit, No Fanfiction Site Would Publish It?
... Is anyone else confused about this? "Little Timmy"? I utterly have no idea what, how, and why this crap was published! If it isn't ATB spewing hardly understandable nonsense, it's this? And the line at the end -
"The end.
Or is it the end?
Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe!"
A sequel eh. Guess this guy just joined Pell in my list of 'No-read' articles. Or maybe this guy is Pell, under a different byline. Lot of people did pledge not to click on articles by him... but wait, there's no smugness. So conclusion being... nope, no idea. WTF is this?
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby ghijkmnop » Fri Oct 16, 2015 3:46 pm

Redacted
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Last edited by ghijkmnop on Mon Mar 18, 2019 5:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby sunglasses » Fri Oct 16, 2015 4:01 pm

On the ends were circles that sometimes babies use for milk. They looked like little hats.


*wipes a single tear from her eye*

That's beautiful, man.

It seems like what would happen if a 13 year old wrote erotica.

The about me section of the author is interesting as well.

my teacher sas Im good with riting storys so i rite storys for cracked now.
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby Kivutar » Fri Oct 16, 2015 4:38 pm

I... I think that belongs in The Bizarre and the Inexplicable. Which may be a first from Cracked.
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby Roflface » Fri Oct 16, 2015 5:33 pm

One of the top comments from Knicholas,

"This work represents the characteristic themes of Little Timmy Oxfords mythotic reality. This short yet luminous work draws a telling line between the narrative of oppression and post-colonialism. The post-modernist phrasing demonstrates that the fiction of praxis invests itself in the authentication of linguistic transparency, as demonstrated by the writer's repetition phraseology that could be best understood as a criticism of the deconstruction of identity in the educationalist camp.

The illusory nature of history in Oxford's work is strictly congruent with the ideology of gendered bodies. By diagrammizing the eroticization of post-hegemonic pedagogical institutes, the fiction of consumption may be parsed as the systemization of nation states.

Rating: One large gold-star sticker."
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby octoberpumpkin » Fri Oct 16, 2015 5:38 pm

I didn't like it because Mrs. Teachington is a Mrs. and that means that she is married and that means that only her husband should be rubbing her vagina butt with his uhh wingading thing. It is wrong because Mrs. Teachington should only be doing that with Mr. Teachington and that is why I did'nt like this story
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby Matthew Notch » Fri Oct 16, 2015 6:12 pm

Some people said it's John Cheese. Is it John Cheese?
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby Tesseracts » Fri Oct 16, 2015 6:18 pm

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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby BinaryStep » Fri Oct 16, 2015 7:38 pm

Welp, Cracked's finally started blatantly shitposting. Delightful.
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby El Saico » Fri Oct 16, 2015 7:40 pm

The cleanup job made by the editors likely ruined the whole effect.

Also, needs MSTing.
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby octoberpumpkin » Fri Oct 16, 2015 7:44 pm

What do you mean by cleanup job?
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby AdricDePsycho » Sat Oct 17, 2015 3:51 am

So...that exists...

If you need me, I'll be busy drinking that out of my memory.
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby DamianaRaven » Sat Oct 17, 2015 4:04 am

*takes the glass out of Adric's hand and replaces it with a Coke* Nice try, kiddo! Last thing we need around here is a bunch of drunk teenagers.
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby cmsellers » Sat Oct 17, 2015 4:29 am

Did anybody else notice that we're exactly five and a half months from April Fool's Day?

It's like Cracked figured "If we publish this in April, they'll realize we're pranking them. And if we do it on October 1, they still might. So let's do it in the middle of October, when nobody's expecting an April Fool's joke."
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Re: The Sex Scene That's So Hot, No One Else Would Publish I

Postby AdricDePsycho » Sat Oct 17, 2015 4:46 am

DamianaRaven wrote:*takes the glass out of Adric's hand and replaces it with a Coke* Nice try, kiddo! Last thing we need around here is a bunch of drunk teenagers.

Damiana, how do you think I'm able to put up with most of you guys?
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