5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuality

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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Paradox » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:09 pm

I was thinking earlier, and realized most of my exclusively gay male friends state they are more "submissive". My gay male friends who like to take on a more "dominant" role don't mind doing stuff with women on occasion.

But, as I mentioned early, I hang with weird people.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Bromo » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:13 pm

TwoSheds wrote:
Kevin_Durant wrote:I do not have the confidence to take the lead during intercourse as far as I'm concerned.


No disrespect, but I'm not sure how this ties in with the rest of your post?


The way I worded it is probably the problem. I'm just not the assertive type; I'm submissive. A submissive personality would probably be very off-putting for women and men.

Mind you all that I'm a virgin and this all based on hypotheses. I guess I just lack self-esteem.

This is quite embarrassing.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Andropov4 » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:17 pm

There are a lot of people who don't mind a submissive partner, dude. You might not have found one yet, but they're most definitely out there.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby TwoSheds » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:19 pm

Kevin_Durant wrote:
TwoSheds wrote:
Kevin_Durant wrote:I do not have the confidence to take the lead during intercourse as far as I'm concerned.


No disrespect, but I'm not sure how this ties in with the rest of your post?


The way I worded it is probably the problem. I'm just not the assertive type; I'm submissive. A submissive personality would probably be very off-putting for women and men.

Mind you all that I'm a virgin and this all based on hypotheses. I guess I just lack self-esteem.

This is quite embarrassing.


Hey man, no worries about that. I just asked because it's something I myself struggled with for quite a while and still struggle with to some extent.
Yes, some women and men find it off-putting. Some also find short people off-putting, or facial hair or long toes or blue eyes or Mexicans (looking at you, Trump). But there are also people that find submissives very appealing. It can be hard to tell going into a relationship and you may get a bit hurt when finding out the person you care for isn't into that, but let me tell you, when you find someone that is into it, it's a great thing. And they're out there, oh man are they out there.
You can have a great self-esteem and still be submissive. Developing a healthy self-esteem will also improve your sex life, though it will generally improve most aspects of you life. Don't get down on yourself. One thing I've learned is that there are a hell of a lot of people out there and they all like different things. You've just got to find the ones that like YOUR things.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Tesseracts » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:28 pm

For somebody with a submissive personality or who is submissive sexually (they're not always the same thing), I would think the biggest concern is not finding someone interested. The biggest concern is finding someone who won't abuse their power. That's not to say the submissive one is always going to be the victim, but they are in a more vulnerable position. Having self esteem issues makes you even more vulnerable.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Bromo » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:32 pm

DamianaRaven wrote:That comment gave me pause as well, Mr. Sheds. The impression I got from Mr. Durant is that he believes the male role in heterosexual intercourse to be more dominant and assertive than is his nature? I myself am curious as to why intercourse is off the table if cunnilingus is a possibility, but that might be more information than he wants to share.


Since I'm not attracted to women as I am to men, I don't think I would stay erect throughout vaginal sex or anal sex with a women. If I were to ever have intercourse with a women, I assume I'd bring more pleasure through cunnilingus.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Paradox » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:40 pm

Keep in mind, submissive doesn't mean subservient. Dominant guys -- and I assume girls too, but I don't really know any like this -- don't want someone who doesn't stand up for themselves or voice their wishes. They want their partner to be happy too.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Bromo » Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:41 pm

Tesseracts wrote:For somebody with a submissive personality or who is submissive sexually (they're not always the same thing), I would think the biggest concern is not finding someone interested. The biggest concern is finding someone who won't abuse their power. That's not to say the submissive one is always going to be the victim, but they are in a more vulnerable position. Having self esteem issues makes you even more vulnerable.


I agree, Tess. Which is why I'm glad I have my grandma's girlfriend to be the judge of any of my future boyfriends. (She's moving in with my grandma in several months. Yay!) I also won't put up with abuse. I'm aware of the signs, the dangers, and the potential outcomes it could cause.
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Then I reached for my face and there were they." --Toy, 2016


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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Jack Road » Fri Jul 10, 2015 8:48 am

I also have problems with that Kevin. I am submissive, and women generally seem to want dominate men. I have met a few women who enjoy occasionally being dominate in the bedroom, but not really anywhere else. And they also want me to be dominate in the bedroom at least occasionally.

Mostly where it is tricky is in the asking out part. I don't ask guys out, they ask me out. I have only met three women that asked me, and I went out with each of them. I have never asked a girl out.

It is more than just sexually where this is a problem, our culture says that men should have dominate roles and women should have submissive roles. And maybe not just our culture? Sometimes I wonder if it is hard-wired in and I was just wired wrong. I mean, I guess the act of penis insertion is inherently a dominate thing to do.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby PSTN » Fri Jul 10, 2015 9:48 pm

Kevin_Durant wrote:I also won't put up with abuse. I'm aware of the signs, the dangers, and the potential outcomes it could cause.


I don't mean to criticize you or anything, but I just want to hazard you against this line of reasoning. Abuse is almost never as cut and dry as "this person is abusive and I should leave". Especially from the inside looking out. It often doesn't manifest until you're already invested in the relationship and leaving is a costly (not necessarily financially costly) prospect. Relationships are the kind of thing that have a well documented tendency to override your better reasoning.

For instance, my second girlfriend did a lot of stuff that could be classified as emotionally abusive, and that relationship was definitely bad for me (and for her, truth be told, by the end it had devolved into the Stanford Prison Experiment of relationships). Now, at the time, she was an alcoholic, frequent drug user, and had never been employed, so I paid the rent, bought the food, bought her booze, and didn't ask too many questions about where she kept getting coke from. At any time I could have said "We're done here, pack your shit" and suffered no ill effects.

But then I'd think about the time she texted me "I was reading a book about polar bears and it reminded me of you" or the time she asked to sleep with me because of a thunderstorm, or seeing her cry her eyes out and say she wished she could quit drinking and get a job and be a good person, or how her hair smelled so good, and her skin was so soft, and... other stuff.
Spoiler: show
Intercourse.
I intercoursed the fuck out of her.


And you get to thinking "maybe it's not that bad" or "it's better on the whole" or "I haven't exactly been a saint myself" and you get all confused, and the whole thing becomes all murky, and you don't know what to do.

I sincerely hope you never get to that point, but if you do, remember that it's hard to get out. That other people might see something you don't. That your thinking might be clouded (seriously, it can be a legit mental condition). And that your own brain could very well be working against you on this one.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Paradox » Fri Jul 10, 2015 9:57 pm

Also, not all bad relationships are abusive. Maybe he or she simply doesn't regard your feelings the correct way. It may seem easy to spot, but several subs find themselves in this situation, but don't wanna end it because they assume that's the way things are.

Nope, they aren't supposed to be like this. Relationships are supposed to be good for you.
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Re: 5 Outdated Myths Everyone Still Believes About Bisexuali

Postby Jack Road » Tue Jul 14, 2015 9:13 am

Paradox wrote:Relationships are supposed to be good for you.


This saddens me because of how often they are not. Sometime I wonder if they are actually meant to be good for you.
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