Kevin_Durant wrote:I also won't put up with abuse. I'm aware of the signs, the dangers, and the potential outcomes it could cause.
I don't mean to criticize you or anything, but I just want to hazard you against this line of reasoning. Abuse is almost never as cut and dry as "this person is abusive and I should leave". Especially from the inside looking out. It often doesn't manifest until you're already invested in the relationship and leaving is a costly (not necessarily financially costly) prospect. Relationships are the kind of thing that have a well documented tendency to override your better reasoning.
For instance, my second girlfriend did a lot of stuff that could be classified as emotionally abusive, and that relationship was
definitely bad for me (and for her, truth be told, by the end it had devolved into the Stanford Prison Experiment of relationships). Now, at the time, she was an alcoholic, frequent drug user, and had never been employed, so I paid the rent, bought the food, bought her booze, and didn't ask too many questions about where she kept getting coke from. At any time I could have said "We're done here, pack your shit" and suffered no ill effects.
But then I'd think about the time she texted me "I was reading a book about polar bears and it reminded me of you" or the time she asked to sleep with me because of a thunderstorm, or seeing her cry her eyes out and say she wished she could quit drinking and get a job and be a good person, or how her hair smelled so good, and her skin was so soft, and... other stuff.
Intercourse.
I intercoursed the fuck out of her.
And you get to thinking "maybe it's not that bad" or "it's better on the whole" or "I haven't exactly been a saint myself" and you get all confused, and the whole thing becomes all murky, and you don't know what to do.
I sincerely hope you never get to that point, but if you do, remember that it's
hard to get out. That other people might see something you don't. That your thinking might be clouded (seriously, it can be a
legit mental condition). And that your own brain could very well be working against you on this one.