6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Identity

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6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Identity

Postby AdricDePsycho » Tue Jun 09, 2015 4:15 pm

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-batshit-c ... -identity/

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT, THERE IS A GOD, AND HE HAS ANSWERED OUR PRAYERS, BECAUSE SEANBABY'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby Marcuse » Tue Jun 09, 2015 4:41 pm

Yup. Seanbaby, awesome. I laughed +1
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby sunglasses » Tue Jun 09, 2015 5:05 pm

Seanbaby hates Superman and for that I love him.
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby AdricDePsycho » Tue Jun 09, 2015 5:59 pm

I'd hate Silver Age Superman, too. He was a dick. I can't understand what Alan Moore saw in him.
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby Paradox » Tue Jun 09, 2015 9:11 pm

All of this could have been made 83,17% less dumb if they added a reason. Say, "Superman can't reveal his identity because he'd lose all his powers!" or some shit like that...

That being said, I think Superman is a dumb concept anyway. Regular dudes with one advantage, in the form of superpower or extensive training, who can throw punches in the bad guys' faces like a pro beat invincible super heroes all day.
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby gorillathehun » Tue Jun 09, 2015 9:18 pm

You know I didn't used to like Superman either but I'm now a huge fan due to his super-ventriloquism.
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby gorillathehun » Tue Jun 09, 2015 9:19 pm

Wait...who said that? I swear that wasn't me!
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby KleinerKiller » Tue Jun 09, 2015 11:16 pm

Seanbaby wrote:Lois Lane is the kind of woman who'd give herself a black eye and fill your computer with child pornography just to see if you'd cheat on her in prison.


Seanbabicus Hilarious wrote:In a crime against all language and concepts, he adopted the civilian identity of a kitty cat Superman-themed street performer named Super-Cool Cat. That may be the worst sentence about a cat I've ever typed, and I once emailed the writer of Garfield: A Tail Of Two Kitties to let him know his wife might have herpes.


Have My Seanbabies wrote:"Now to use my heat vision to etch images of the devil onto his retina!"


As is tradition, the only thing we can properly do in the face of this mad comedy god is quote our favorite lines.
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby sunglasses » Tue Jun 09, 2015 11:21 pm

KleinerKiller wrote:
Seanbaby wrote:Lois Lane is the kind of woman who'd give herself a black eye and fill your computer with child pornography just to see if you'd cheat on her in prison.



Oh shit. I need to get to...someone's...computer rather quickly. It seems I've made a mistake.
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby NathanLoiselle » Tue Jun 09, 2015 11:24 pm

I like stone age superman. Yes, I said it. It's out there now and you can't stop it. Stone age superman.
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby AdricDePsycho » Wed Jun 10, 2015 12:00 am

Paradox wrote:All of this could have been made 83,17% less dumb if they added a reason. Say, "Superman can't reveal his identity because he'd lose all his powers!" or some shit like that...

That being said, I think Superman is a dumb concept anyway. Regular dudes with one advantage, in the form of superpower or extensive training, who can throw punches in the bad guys' faces like a pro beat invincible super heroes all day.

There is a part of the Superman concept I like, and it's how he's, for all intents and purposes, a god, and what does he do? Save our asses. He's the eternal optimist who is humble enough to use his powers to help out the denizens of his home city, and doesn't look for a reward. I admit to not being a big reader of comics, but I have red Grant Morrison's All-Star Superman. When people say that this story is the essence of Superman, they're right. Morrison takes the idea of Superman being faced with an eminent death, and what does the big blue boyscout do? He keeps on helping people. He keeps on going. Hell, at one point he helps Luthor! And let's not forget the panel of Superman saving a troubled girl from jumping off a building. What does he do to stop her? He tells her "You are stronger than you think you are. Trust me, I know." Superman, in my opinion, is the nicest, humblest, and noblest of all superheroes.
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby ShuaiGuy » Wed Jun 10, 2015 1:16 am

<Redacted>
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby AdricDePsycho » Wed Jun 10, 2015 6:05 am

ShuaiGuy wrote:I get that Superman is supposed to be an inspiration or something to aspire to (that's what Smallville told me, and dammit, it works). But I just can't bring myself to care. I can already aspire to being better than I am. I don't need a guy getting accolades because he has an easy ass job to aspire to. And saving lives when you're God is easy as Hell. That'd be like applauding me tying my shoe.


So thppppppppppbbbbbbbttttttttttt Man of Steel.

Different strokes, then.
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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby FieldMarshalFry » Wed Jun 10, 2015 5:03 pm

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Re: 6 Batshit Crazy Ways Superman Tried To Protect His Ident

Postby AdricDePsycho » Wed Jun 10, 2015 6:13 pm

FieldMarshalFry wrote:Ironic gigantes ubermensch Snip - M

GOD DAMN IT, NOW I FEEL LIKE CRYING. DAMN YOU FIELD MARSHALL FRY FOR MAKING ME REMEMBER THIS MARVEL OF MY CHILDHOOD! DAMN YOU!!!
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