5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado'

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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby TwoSheds » Tue Jun 09, 2015 1:44 am

ShuaiGuy wrote:Edit: I WANT TO SEE ASIAN SCHOOLGIRLS!!!!!


I've actually seen it - it's on Canadian Netflix. It's not great. Not bad or good enough to be entertaining. The subject matter is surprisingly dark and disturbing for a movie called Asian Schoolgirls. It's mainly about a criminal ring that kidnaps teenage girls and forces them into the sex trade. The titular Asian schoolgirls seek revenge against the slavers after they all raped and one of their schoolmates kills herself in shame. It's hard to get too sexually excited with all that going on, even while drunk.

It's a lot of fun and laughs were had by all.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby ShuaiGuy » Tue Jun 09, 2015 2:02 am

<Redacted>
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby EstebanColberto » Tue Jun 09, 2015 2:19 am

I've been giving it some thought and I think Commbies is too epic an idea to only have one movie. So I thought up two sequels.

"Commbies 2: The Dead Scare" and "Commbies 3: Dead October."

The Dead Scare will involve a cult that uses dark arts to help summon Chairman Mao, who is now a lich king, to help China dominate as a global power over the US and Japan, but it soon gets out of hand since Mao is way more powerful in death than he is in life. The protagonists of this one will be a mix of Japanese and American martial artists and there will be fights between them and zombie Shao Lin monks.

Dead October will see the return of Lenin's zombie army, only now it is being controlled by vampire Joseph Stalin. I don't know how the plot would play out exactly, but since it's the third movie in a trilogy, it's where it gets over the top ridiculous. Trotsky will be one of the good guys and he's a werewolf. Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-il will be cyborgs. And there will be a giant robot controlled by Che Gueverra's brain in a jar.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby AdricDePsycho » Tue Jun 09, 2015 5:51 am

I had an idea for one, but Roger Corman stole it: Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (and yes I watched it, and it was the stupidest piece of crap ever. Uwe Boll could direct a better movie).
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby JamishT » Tue Jun 09, 2015 5:52 am

When the guy said that Asylum actually believes they make quality movies or whatever, I stopped believing he had some kind of insider knowledge. Yeah, I've been on sets where everyone involved believes that this one is going to WIN ALL THE AWARDS! But then after it's edited and we see the thing, it's more of a "Meh.", and you learn from it and move on. Unless you're really really delusional (and/or have a gigantic budget), you don't stay in the WIN ALL THE AWARDS mindset. Asylum plainly has given up on winning any awards besides Razzies, and is just copying whatever trend is hot as quickly and cheaply as possible. I have no respect for them at all.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby NathanLoiselle » Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:50 pm

AdricDePsycho wrote:I had an idea for one, but Roger Corman stole it: Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (and yes I watched it, and it was the stupidest piece of crap ever. Uwe Boll could direct a better movie).


Hold on. You expect Roger Corman to actually produce or direct something that isn't crap?
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby AdricDePsycho » Tue Jun 09, 2015 9:12 pm

NathanLoiselle wrote:
AdricDePsycho wrote:I had an idea for one, but Roger Corman stole it: Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (and yes I watched it, and it was the stupidest piece of crap ever. Uwe Boll could direct a better movie).


Hold on. You expect Roger Corman to actually produce or direct something that isn't crap?

There's a difference between good crap and bad crap. Good crap is the stuff shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000 (except for the ones that almost break the crew). Bad crap is the stuff that you watch and right after you feel like murdering someone, crying, breaking your TV, shooting yourself, or getting drunk. Corman mostly made the former, but of course those were mainly the ones he directed.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby NathanLoiselle » Tue Jun 09, 2015 11:21 pm

I'm sorry. Crap is crap. Now your opinion of it may be that it's great crap but that doesn't change that it's still crap.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby sunglasses » Tue Jun 09, 2015 11:22 pm

Guys-I've got you all beat. I watched Glitter last night.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby AdricDePsycho » Wed Jun 10, 2015 12:03 am

NathanLoiselle wrote:I'm sorry. Crap is crap. Now your opinion of it may be that it's great crap but that doesn't change that it's still crap.

Sounds like Shuai and Star Wars.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby cmsellers » Wed Jun 10, 2015 12:13 am

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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby ShuaiGuy » Wed Jun 10, 2015 1:12 am

<Redacted>
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby NathanLoiselle » Wed Jun 10, 2015 1:26 am

AdricDePsycho wrote:
NathanLoiselle wrote:I'm sorry. Crap is crap. Now your opinion of it may be that it's great crap but that doesn't change that it's still crap.

Sounds like Shuai and Star Wars.


That's because I think Episode 1, 2, & 3 are all Star Wars Christmas Special crap.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby sunglasses » Wed Jun 10, 2015 1:45 am

Sellers-I've seen the Star Wars Holiday Special.

Once seen, can never been unseen. I mean, holy fuck balls.



So here it is for everyone.

Also guys, Nathan is bitter because he has 12 children.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Wed Jun 10, 2015 1:48 am

*whips and stirs*
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