5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado'

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5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado'

Postby ToixStory » Mon Jun 08, 2015 2:14 pm

http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1698-5-ugly-realities-making-mockbusters-like-sharknado.html

Well, it was an interesting article, I suppose, but it was more "5 Things I Learned Having My Movie Pitches Rejected by The Asylum" than anything else. Don't get me wrong, it provided some insight into The Asylum, but I feel like I would have rather had an interview with someone actually in the ranks instead of an outsider-looking-in perspective.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby Paradox » Mon Jun 08, 2015 2:46 pm

I wouldn't talk about my work so proudly if even The Asylum thought my writing was crap.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby TwoSheds » Mon Jun 08, 2015 2:53 pm

I had the same thought, Paradox. While this guy touts himself as a writer, we don't have any idea who he is. It's entirely possible that it wasn't simply The Asylum hating good writing, but rather maybe this guy just isn't very good at it.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby AdricDePsycho » Mon Jun 08, 2015 3:40 pm

He isn't good at writing...for the Asylum? Isn't that like saying something is too cheap to be sold at the 99¢ store?
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby FaceTheCitizen » Mon Jun 08, 2015 5:48 pm

Being so shitty at writing for the Asylum is like being too sleazy for The Pick-Up Artist Club.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby sunglasses » Mon Jun 08, 2015 6:20 pm

FaceTheCitizen wrote:Being so shitty at writing for the Asylum is like being too sleazy for The Pick-Up Artist Club.


Ouch. Burn.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby AdricDePsycho » Mon Jun 08, 2015 6:40 pm

FaceTheCitizen wrote:Being so shitty at writing for the Asylum is like being too sleazy for The Pick-Up Artist Club.

Or being too dishonest for Congress.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby EstebanColberto » Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:08 pm

I think we should take this opportunity to pitch our own movie ideas.

Commbies: Communist Zombies. A group of Marxist terrorists steal Lenin's corpse in order to reanimate him so he can lead the socialist revolution. Something goes wrong and Lenin starts biting the everyone, turning all of the terrorists into zombies. Now the world faces a threat like it's never seen. Can we fight of the undead forces of Socialism?!
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby ToixStory » Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:27 pm

EstebanColberto wrote:I think we should take this opportunity to pitch our own movie ideas.

Commbies: Communist Zombies. A group of Marxist terrorists steal Lenin's corpse in order to reanimate him so he can lead the socialist revolution. Something goes wrong and Lenin starts biting the everyone, turning all of the terrorists into zombies. Now the world faces a threat like it's never seen. Can we fight of the undead forces of Socialism?!

Image
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby AdricDePsycho » Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:48 pm

Speaking of movie ideas: I had a discussion with a friend of mine about horror movies. He says they're going downhill, so I came up with an idea in about 20 minutes and messaged it to him. He said it was pretty good:

There is a man who has a really shitty life. He's an outcast in a piss poor job that is continually screwed over by people. So what does he do? He creates a golem to kill all those he despises. At first, it satisfies the man's frustrations. But as the golem keeps killing people, the more this guy starts thinking "maybe this is wrong". Additionally, the golem transforms the more it kills, first starting off vaguely humanoid, and then heading straight into uncanny valley territory by the end, and becoming more and more violent. When the golem kills an innocent (say the wife or child of one of the targets), the man tries to destroy the golem, but realizes that it's too late: the golem has gone wild, and the only thing that can stop it is if the man sacrifices himself. It'll end with an epic final battle where the man protects the last person he wanted dead from the golem, and the two fall into a lake and die. When the intended victim checks to see if the man is okay, the golem was broken apart, and its face returns to its initial appearance from the beginning of the movie, finally at peace.

Yeah, nobody is gonna greenlight this.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby Tesseracts » Mon Jun 08, 2015 9:07 pm

They should have Jacopo write an article called "How To Write Something Which Actually Gets Published."
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Postby Cujos&Bits » Mon Jun 08, 2015 11:48 pm

...
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Last edited by Cujos&Bits on Tue Oct 13, 2015 1:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby Tesseracts » Tue Jun 09, 2015 12:01 am

Yeah, I didn't buy that either. You don't get to be in the big movie business by thinking a spray painted Nerf gun is non-ironically cool.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby ShuaiGuy » Tue Jun 09, 2015 1:13 am

<Redacted>
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Last edited by ShuaiGuy on Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 5 Ugly Realities Of Making 'Mockbusters' Like 'Sharknado

Postby cmsellers » Tue Jun 09, 2015 1:18 am

From the top comments
Classtoise wrote:Alright here's my pitch.

A cop and his chimpanzee partner are fighting crime. Unfortunately, Bobo the Chimp is hit by stray fire in the middle of a shootout! Only a week from retirement, they refuse to let their best non-human, non-dog officer go down without a fight. So they wire him up with the latest in high tech cybernetics so he can police the streets once again as...BOBOCOP.

I like this idea, except that the chimp should be a bonobo and the movie should be called: Robobonobocop.
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