Aliens are mining the moon!

Our thoughts about the famous Cracked.com.

Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Sun Mar 29, 2015 9:43 pm

We can do better than the ones Craked brought up. They were good but I've recently been using youtube conspiracy videos to fall asleep to (as Sherlock from the show 'Elementary' said I don't like the theories I like the theorists!) and there are some that are downright strange. The title references this one.

It is just a guy tracing outlines on the moon and making absurdly hilarious conclusions. He sees a mining crawler like worm(sorta looks like khans ear worm things) the size of New York, a castle with battlements and a big cannon, a satellite dish that suspiciously looks like a crater *gasp*, and that's just the beginning. He also does a breakdown of some mission patch that clearly supports all of this. I'm not sure if I ever heard a "why" but this is just one of many.

There's a ton of them with all sorts of different "energies" and I've become especially fond of "the pyramids were energy producing batteries" thing recently and have just started looking at the "Siberian holes" are.... well they've never been clear really. Got any good ones?
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby NotCIAAgent » Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:15 pm

That's ridiculous, there can't be aliens in the moon.





The nazis would clearly repel them with their superior, Aryan technology. White power is 36,5% more efficient than nuclear power, after all.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby CarrieVS » Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:36 pm

I guess aliens really like cheese. Probably milk doesn't exist on their worlds and dairy products are a rare and fabulously expensive alien (to them) delicacy.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby Anglerphobe » Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:40 pm

Wait, isn't the moon the artificial satellite made by the Jews (actually reverse-vampire lizards) to broadcast their mind control waves over the Earth? You can't mine that. They must really be fighting for control over it.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Sun Mar 29, 2015 11:48 pm

CarrieVS wrote:I guess aliens really like cheese. Probably milk doesn't exist on their worlds and dairy products are a rare and fabulously expensive alien (to them) delicacy.


Would explain the cow mutilations. They just can't figure out milking. They probably think human milk is better too therefor the probing.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:11 am

Bob Jones University teaches that the Moon appears as a signal that the apocalypse is nigh. God is apparently just really, really indecisive.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:28 am

Ericthebearjew wrote:Bob Jones University teaches that the Moon appears as a signal that the apocalypse is nigh. God is apparently just really, really indecisive.


He's just a huge "Annie" fan.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:41 am

I personally enjoy the theory that Jack the Ripper was Prince Albert Victor and also Hitler.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby archaeologydalek » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:09 pm

REDACTED
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Last edited by archaeologydalek on Wed Apr 13, 2016 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby gisambards » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:24 pm

archaeologydalek wrote:One of my all-time favourite conspiracy theories, and one that I've so-far failed to get onto the site, is the conspiracy that President Obama is actually a clone of the Egyptian Pharaoh Akhenaten.


Personally, I find this theory sound: Obama is black, Akhenaten was black. Obama's wife is black, Akhenaten's wife was black. And Obama once nearly pulled a pose similar to a statue of Akhenaten.
I, for one, am convinced.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby CarrieVS » Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:36 pm

So, that brings us back to the discussion we had about Ted Cruz and natural born citizens.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Mon Mar 30, 2015 3:04 pm

archaeologydalek wrote:Hey, you're talking about one of my articles!

Instead, I look for weird conspiracies that fulfil one (ideally, all) of the following criteria: a) the conspiracy is related to current events; b) there's an underlying logic to how the conspiracy works, which gives us more to talk about and demonstrates that this isn't simply the rantings of a lunatic; c) it can be debunked laughably easily.

For this reason, I think this is one of the hardest types of articles to write. Also, one of the best because, once you've got a good list, you can just go balls-out silly with it.


Gratz! I do love this stuff(and that clone one is great) so I'll keep that in mind even though this is where I was just gonna point and laugh. It is depressingly true most are just "the jews!" or "look at the numbers!" Gotta be hard to find interesting current event ones that aren't just "Look, a triangle!". There was an eclipse recently that has some buzz around it. especially from the moon=spacecraft guys if that helps for more of these articles.

God speed agent 777. I'll meet you at Nibiru.

oh and I hope you didn't take "we can do better" as anything but tongue in cheek. Otherwise I'd have 100 bucks in my e-pocket :D
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Last edited by SandTea on Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Mon Mar 30, 2015 5:19 pm

So, are these people in constant fear of pointing upwards,and therefore, in their minds, accidentally converting?
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby SandTea » Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:43 pm

Ericthebearjew wrote:So, are these people in constant fear of pointing upwards,and therefore, in their minds, accidentally converting?


That is an interesting idea. I have already seen theorists turn on one another claiming ones a shill for whatever. conspiricy-ception I guess. Conspiracies about conspiracies... My brain just screamed "Simpsons did it" even though I'm recalling that South Park episode about truthers. Sounds like a fun game at least 'turn their conspiracy justification protocol against them'. Off to the calculator!
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Re: Aliens are mining the moon!

Postby sunglasses » Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:54 pm

I still love the woman who said that Monster energy drinks were Satan for reasons no sane brain can comprehend.
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