I don't like Cracked's Portal article

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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby Taluun » Sat Mar 07, 2015 6:48 pm

Ericthebearjew wrote:
subotai wrote:Wait, countries are always women. No wait, that's ships.

Countries are always flowers.

I thought they were anime characters.


Countries are anime characters but women are ships and anime characters, anime can get all kinds of confusing.
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby aBagofYoughurt » Sat Mar 07, 2015 6:56 pm

Taluun wrote:
Ericthebearjew wrote:
subotai wrote:Wait, countries are always women. No wait, that's ships.

Countries are always flowers.

I thought they were anime characters.


Countries are anime characters but women are ships and anime characters, anime can get all kinds of confusing.


Are nationalities anime flowers?
































































At least marriage is women's volleyball
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby Tesseracts » Sat Mar 07, 2015 8:12 pm

thatindianguy wrote:Honestly the article itself wasn't that bad. If you've attended a literature class you'll know that a lot of theories are like this, but more professional so for a site that takes reader submissions it's okay....except for the whole 'every guy is an asshole' message they're saying is a feminist message.

But what kills it for me is Cracked's track record. Given their past of basically using social issues as click bait, spewing complete crap and general SJWish behaviour I can not take this in good faith.

I might give them more of the benefit of the doubt if they didn't have a history of misinterpretations, but I would still dislike this article. Flimsy symbolism is a long standing pet peeve of mine, and I find these cliches about women inherintly insulting.
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby subotai » Sat Mar 07, 2015 8:43 pm

The author is a White man. Normally, I wouldn't care who writes what, even with Feminist articles, as there should be no boundary on writing, but Cracked really does have an awful lot of White liberal men preaching on behalf of women and minorities.

No, Jon McIntosh says it's because men command more attention, but isn't that just transferring some internalised sexism?
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby sunglasses » Sat Mar 07, 2015 8:43 pm

But red is romance and menstrual blood and white is purity and pink is purity streaked with blood and I don't know where I'm going with this but making up bullshit about symbols isn't hard.

Triangles are wombs. Lemons are ovaries. Portal guns are ejaculate.

BAM!
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby krankittoeleven » Sat Mar 07, 2015 9:15 pm

Absentia wrote:
krankittoeleven wrote:I haven't played Portal much, so I skipped the article as I figured it'd just piss me off and I wouldn't get most of the comparisons. Seems like I've started off my day with a wise decision.


The unwise decision was not playing Portal. Skipping the article was definitely smart.


I really should stop wasting time reading and play more video games. I fail at life sometimes, I know.
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby EstebanColberto » Sat Mar 07, 2015 10:05 pm

They're starting to remind me of those conspiracy sites that talk about all the hidden messages on our money and draw conclusions out of thin air about Obama being the antichrist who's controlled by the 9 Jewish Bankers. If you try hard enough, you can spin anything to fit your narrative. I'm writing a theses right now about how this website is run by space aliens who are also Nazis. Why are you selling us out to the space Nazis Tesseracts! ?
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby Bonk! » Sat Mar 07, 2015 10:28 pm

They changed the title, and now it's a thousand times worse.

"5 Secret Feminist Easter Eggs You Didn't Notice in 'Portal'"

Easter eggs. EASTER EGGS. Trying to regain some of your old viewership with that label, are we, Cracked?
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby NathanLoiselle » Sat Mar 07, 2015 10:59 pm

EstebanColberto wrote:They're starting to remind me of those conspiracy sites that talk about all the hidden messages on our money and draw conclusions out of thin air about Obama being the antichrist who's controlled by the 9 Jewish Bankers. If you try hard enough, you can spin anything to fit your narrative. I'm writing a theses right now about how this website is run by space aliens who are also Nazis. Why are you selling us out to the space Nazis Tesseracts! ?


As if! Everyone knows there's only eight Jews left in the whole world! The rest are just posers.
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Sat Mar 07, 2015 11:10 pm

Nathan's a Yahweh Ben Yahweh member?
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby D-LOGAN » Sun Mar 08, 2015 12:16 am

sunglasses wrote:Triangles are wombs. Lemons are ovaries. Portal guns are ejaculate.


HEY! I'm tryin' ta eat here!

*puts down bowl of marmalade and spaghetti and slides it away*

Da noive a these kids nowadays, it givin' me agita bro!
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby DamianaRaven » Sun Mar 08, 2015 12:21 am

Agita is a lovely jewel of a word, though Firefox seems to turn its inarticulate nose up at the sound of it. Just be careful you don't get angina because people will snicker inwardly when you tell them about it.
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby gregfrankenstein » Sun Mar 08, 2015 1:46 am

I'm convinced the author had a deadline, so rather than write an article they dug up a Women's Studies essay where they were forced to pick a video game and probe for feminist undertones, split it in five and added some tit jokes. That's the only way this makes sense.

Also here's my Cracked comment for posterity (read: hubris)
Star Wars is secretly about feminism because the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon has a glass ceiling.

See I can do that too.
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby DamianaRaven » Sun Mar 08, 2015 1:55 am

*giggles immaturely* You said cockpit.
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Last edited by DamianaRaven on Sun Mar 08, 2015 2:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I don't like Cracked's Portal article

Postby TheCat » Sun Mar 08, 2015 2:29 am

Tesseracts wrote:Cracked did an article about the "secret feminist messages" in Portal.

I read the title, and decided to stop reading cracked for a while (it is an old habit that'll be hard to get rid of). Didn't read the thing.

First there was luke's article on feminism, multiple times when they disabled comments, then there was title change in article about women, and now they're seeing feminism in portal.

I thought about it a bit, and I think that nowadays if when some gamedev releases a game with female protagonist (even optional) some not-so-smart people will immediately claim that the dev did that "in the name of feminism".
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