5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

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5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby NotCIAAgent » Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:24 pm

http://www.cracked.com/article_22054_5-nightmare-realities-having-absurdly-large-boobs.html

Now Cracked did it. First they talked shit about being nerd. I stomached it. Then they talked how every good videogame is sexist. I endured it. Then they said how I can't be no feminist without being misogynist. Without complaining, I carried on.

But now Cracked just attacked the thing I most love. HUGE BOOBS! That's it, Cracked. I am done with you. FITE ME IRL LIFE FAGGET!



In all seriousness, it is a pretty good article, and one of the most interesting reads from the recent "life experience" batch on Cracked, without any politics either. Pretty good.

Though I can no longer love HUGE BOOBS like I did before, knowing the evils they are capable of. One part of my soul just died today, but for me, from now on, flat is justice.

*the hollow (handsome) husk of NotCIAAgent proceeds to burn his entire collection of Oppai hentai*
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby subotai » Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:26 pm

Not large boobs, ABSURDLY large boobs.

Anything taken to the extreme is going to have drawbacks, even boobs. Ever see the late Glamour star Lolo Ferrari? Now, that was plastic surgery as opposed to natural growth, but it's an example of 'too much'.
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:27 pm

Do not panic, my friend, for there's always refuge in the world of ecchi!
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby NotCIAAgent » Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:36 pm

subotai wrote:Not large boobs, ABSURDLY large boobs.

Anything taken to the extreme is going to have drawbacks, even boobs. Ever see the late Glamour star Lolo Ferrari? Now, that was plastic surgery as opposed to natural growth, but it's an example of 'too much'.


Silicone is the evil milk! Abhor and condemn it!
Unless it is very well done and not too big. Then it is okay.

Ericthebearjew wrote:Do not panic, my friend, for there's always refuge in the world of ecchi!


I... I can't give up big boobs. I CAN'T! IT IS PART OF ME!

Doomguy knows it
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby Taluun » Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:37 pm

What really got to me is when she showed the picture of her upper back/neck. That looked and sounded ridiculously uncomfortable.
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby sunglasses » Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:46 pm

One of my high school friends had DD breasts. Then she had her first child and they became F cups. It was awful, she said. She had to wear two sports bras to have a semblance of control over them. She had to special order bras.

On a gag, she weighed them once on a produce scale in the supermarket. ...Yeah.
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby Matthew Notch » Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:51 pm

"Isn't this the equivalent of a boy hitting puberty and realizing he has a 12-inch dong?"

Yep, which would also suck. Heck, I think having a 12-inch Notch would suck now! Uh, I mean, does suck.

My wife has a 41 inch bust (bigger than my waist size), and a... well, significantly smaller waist, so she feels the pain too. My poor Mrs. Notch, besides having back aches and the like, also finds it massively hard to shop for even regular shirts, let alone bras. We had a heck of a time finding her a chef coat that wasn't going to just tent up and look ridiculous. And that's still not quite double J's. I've said it before, I'll say it again: I imagine it must really suck to be a lady.
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby subotai » Sat Feb 21, 2015 6:41 pm

Taluun wrote:What really got to me is when she showed the picture of her upper back/neck. That looked and sounded ridiculously uncomfortable.


Was i the only one who thought the neck didn't look that bad? My neck has more curve. I've been doing corrective exercises on and off, but might be time to worry :?
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby sunglasses » Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:05 pm

subotai wrote:
Taluun wrote:What really got to me is when she showed the picture of her upper back/neck. That looked and sounded ridiculously uncomfortable.


Was i the only one who thought the neck didn't look that bad? My neck has more curve. I've been doing corrective exercises on and off, but might be time to worry :?


That's as straight as she can get it. Many of us hunch and slouch but we can straighten up if we choose so. My friend was hunched over all the time.
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby subotai » Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:12 pm

Im not sure I can get it that straight, that's my point.
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby NathanLoiselle » Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:25 pm

I felt pity for Amanda until the last point. I mean who's normal really? Just look at subotai. He's a cartoon for christs sake! Eric's a bear and Sunny is running from a zombie!
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby EstebanColberto » Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:02 am

When Amanda said that line about her mother being concerned that she was turning into the Bloob, did anyone else imagine that scene from the Nutty Professor when Eddie Murphy has that nightmare of doctors studying him then he suddenly gets bigger and bigger until everyone in the room is consumed by his fat only it's with Amanda's expanding chest and the doctor pressed up against the glass before he gets absorbed has a huge smile on his face?
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby EstebanColberto » Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:06 am

To be serious though. I understood her getting bullied and everything. Kids are assholes. I was bullied too, but you know what? I was also kind of an asshole as well.

What really grinds my gears were the adults in that story. They should know better. Some people in the comments told similar stories and it just pissed me off even more.
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Re: 5 Nightmare Realities of Having Absurdly Large Boobs

Postby Arkyle » Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:41 pm

Yep, the adults were awful. Breast reductions were frightfully common in my family, though fortunately none at so young an age. I lost out (won?) in that department.
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