5 Ways Movies Start To Suck When You Get Older

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5 Ways Movies Start To Suck When You Get Older

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Tue Feb 10, 2015 5:18 pm

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-movies-start-to-suck-as-you-get-older/
Goddamn it, time! Stop robbing us of our childhoods! I don't wanna! I don't wanna!
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Re: 5 Ways Movies Start To Suck When You Get Older

Postby LegionofShrooms » Tue Feb 10, 2015 5:36 pm

Huh. Is that one any good? I tend to ignore articles that have a title suggesting Cracked just wants to tell me how everything I like sucks or is secretly sexist or racist.

'course, accurate titles aren't exactly Cracked's shtick, but whatever.
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Re: 5 Ways Movies Start To Suck When You Get Older

Postby NathanLoiselle » Tue Feb 10, 2015 6:52 pm

God dammit Cracked! Now I have to hand in my Dirty Old Man card because I didn't find any of these to be true to me.
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Re: 5 Ways Movies Start To Suck When You Get Older

Postby Tesseracts » Tue Feb 10, 2015 7:07 pm

When I was a kid, movies went uphill both ways. We had to change the batteries ourselves. 100% of movies were racist and all of us were black. AND THAT'S HOW WE LIKED IT DAMMIT.
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Re: 5 Ways Movies Start To Suck When You Get Older

Postby Aquila89 » Wed Feb 11, 2015 1:38 am

How could McClane be sure that Hans wouldn't react to the dead terrorist in the elevator by executing random hostages every five minutes until McClane gave himself up?


Huh, that's exactly what I thought after seeing the film. Why didn't Gruber do it? He had a lot of hostages and he was planning on killing them all anyway.

I also had the problem with Close Encounters the article describes, except I didn't have to grow old for it. I haven't actually seen the movie, but I read the novelization as a child. There's a scene in it, I don't know if it's in the movie, where Roy tries to build a model of the mountain he's obsessed with. Early in one morning, his little daughter comes in, and asks if he's going to yell at them again today.

"Neary gazed down into her clear, guileless eyes. That was how he looked to her - a yelling machine. And she was prepared to accept more yelling because she loved him."

Roy is overwhelmed with guilt, and decides to destroy the model. But when he breaks off the top, he realizes that's how the mountain is supposed to look like, and he starts to build it with renewed enthusiasm. That's when his wife leaves him and takes the kids. And we're supposed to see this as a positive thing? Fuck, no. Yeah, establishing contact with the aliens is important, but professionals were working on it.
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