Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Our thoughts about the famous Cracked.com.

Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby Pseudoman » Fri Dec 08, 2017 8:54 pm

Taluun wrote:This seems relevant


I wonder if they end up calling themselves broked.com If you end up not getting that reference, it's okay after all not everyone gets to go to heaven.

Like legion said if they end up going the patreon route, I'll be more than happy to donate especially since Swaim's and DOB's videos (Escort mission, OPCD and After Hours) I've found to be the more consistently entertaining and the only reason why I am subscribed to Cracked on youtube.
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby archaeologydalek » Sat Dec 09, 2017 12:16 am

REDACTED
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby SandTea » Sat Dec 09, 2017 12:30 am

lol, I thought it was going to be "borked'. Like it's an actual word and something I can picture Tom Servo using to describe a scene.
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby IamNotCreepy » Sat Dec 09, 2017 2:36 am

Cracked.sucks is available for about $3000!
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby sunglasses » Sat Dec 09, 2017 4:38 am

...you should see how much Fournier's Gangrene.com costs...
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby ghijkmnop » Sat Dec 09, 2017 4:56 am

Redacted
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Last edited by ghijkmnop on Thu Mar 14, 2019 4:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby LegionofShrooms » Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:39 am

archaeologydalek wrote:Ha! Marina Reimann and I touted the idea of starting Broked.com as a semi-inside joke, semi-fuck you, but holy shit that would be expensive.

broked.PNG

BROKED ISN'T EVEN A WORD THIS IS ALL CRACKED'S DOING


You know, thecommentsection.org is totally available and not thousands of dollars and has a handy feature for publishing articles.

Just saying.
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby LunarTeaHouse » Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:33 am

RIP, Cracked. It has been almost ten years that I've been reading that site daily. What a shame. :|
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby SandTea » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:40 am

In response to people trying to dissect the why.

wong in pwot wrote:I was watching a Warriors/Hornets game last night and I had a similar thought - the Hornets needed to make the ball go through the hoop more, and to stop the Warriors from making the ball go through their hoop as much. It's sad that that never occurred to them, as a professional basketball team that does nothing but think of that all day and all night every day of the year, whose entire livelihood involves making balls go through hoops. It's so weird that I, a novice fan sitting at home, can plainly see that they just need to make the ball go through the hoop more than the other team, and that these professionals couldn't do it.

If only they'd listened to me.


Yeah, like how the '95 Chicago Bulls fired their starters. It was a fantastic decsion to fire Jordan and Pippen. It would have been a shame if Phil Jackson listened to... well f me this analogy is getting tiring. Listened to the mfing stats, record, scoreboard, I could go on.

Best case scenario, cracked thought they were paying them too much. To that, I want to make clear, they were not. In a better world those folk would be making 6 figures. But what do I know? I'm just a novice fan whose worth is valued only by clicks, like some Black Mirror shit.

Also relevant- Accidental or purposeful foreshadowing?
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby Bromo » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:45 am

Cracked: Not Even Once.
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby iMURDAu » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:06 pm

SandTea wrote:In response to people trying to dissect the why.

wong in pwot wrote:I was watching a Warriors/Hornets game last night and I had a similar thought - the Hornets needed to make the ball go through the hoop more, and to stop the Warriors from making the ball go through their hoop as much. It's sad that that never occurred to them, as a professional basketball team that does nothing but think of that all day and all night every day of the year, whose entire livelihood involves making balls go through hoops. It's so weird that I, a novice fan sitting at home, can plainly see that they just need to make the ball go through the hoop more than the other team, and that these professionals couldn't do it.

If only they'd listened to me.


Yeah, like how the '95 Chicago Bulls fired their starters. It was a fantastic decsion to fire Jordan and Pippen. It would have been a shame if Phil Jackson listened to... well f me this analogy is getting tiring. Listened to the mfing stats, record, scoreboard, I could go on.


If he's making an analogy it's an awful one. Nobody that ever read cracked wondered why the professionals "couldn't do it" until they were shitcanned. But who needs to listen to the audience you've been preaching down to? They're morons and that's why they're not successful people and need advice from a gawd.

Which is the #2 reason I never went back.
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby thatindianguy » Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:25 pm

Never mind that his stupid basketball (?) analogy describes half the stuff Cracked writes about every other entertainment outlet.
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby AboveGL » Mon Dec 11, 2017 6:20 pm

*Reads Wong's post*

*Let's out an exasperated sigh*
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby KleinerKiller » Mon Dec 11, 2017 7:03 pm

wong in pwot wrote:I was watching a Warriors/Hornets game last night and I had a similar thought - the Hornets needed to make the ball go through the hoop more, and to stop the Warriors from making the ball go through their hoop as much. It's sad that that never occurred to them, as a professional basketball team that does nothing but think of that all day and all night every day of the year, whose entire livelihood involves making balls go through hoops. It's so weird that I, a novice fan sitting at home, can plainly see that they just need to make the ball go through the hoop more than the other team, and that these professionals couldn't do it.

If only they'd listened to me.


Sometimes I almost forget how much of a sanctimonious, self-obsessed, whiny, reductive, hypocritical, buck-passing, exasperating punkass bully David Wong really is. Then I read excerpts like this, and the old familiar feeling of blood vessels straining in my forehead almost makes me nostalgic. It's like everything you need to know about this charlatan of a man distilled into one bizarre fucking sports analogy.

May your site burn and all be scattered as ashes, Pargin.
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Re: Cracked fires its full time contributors?

Postby Villon » Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:37 pm

I don't comment here often. Or at all. Usually I just lurk around reading the interesting stuff other people have to say on topics I'm interested in.
But I want to bring to attention one thing in all this debacle that I cannot quite get:
They fired John Cheese.
Now, I know that there isn't much more love for him here than there is for Pargin. And for good reason: his hatred for commenters makes Wong seem fair-minded. Which was almost absurd given that the comment sections of his articles were consistently full of people gushing with praise for him and tearfully calling him inspirational. The laser like focus he must have to concentrate only on the few shit-posters to fuel his all consuming rage is beyond me.

However this is not my point. My point is that Wong bestie, the guy who saved his life (and vice-versa according to Cheese), the former alcoholic, that gives all credit for his recovery to his work on Cracked that his best friend gave him, that guy, has been left with his ass on the ground.

I'm not a kid (by a looong shot), I know that things are more complicated than simply giving your friend a job, yet, I can't fathom that, with Wong still purpotedly in charge, of all people, Cheese couldn't be saved.
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