For too long, we elves have had to labor under unfair conditions. We make your cookies, help a fat man bring gifts, and are subjected to being portrayed as scantily-clad treehugging forest creatures for the amusement of humans.
Yet, not a one of us has ever been paid for this. That, my friends, is called slavery, and among humans it is considered an evil practice. You make all these laws about "Human Rights", but who ever considers the plight of the poor elf?
If you believe that elves should be treated with dignity, and paid a decent wage for their labor, please join me in signing this meaningless online declaration which will certainly bring these terrible crimes to the attention of the UN and world leaders.
MAKE A STAND FOR ELFKIND TODAY!