The Comment Section Courthouse

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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby Nostraa » Sat Apr 27, 2013 9:26 pm

*finds Australia's unconscious body* *steals organs*
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby deathknight928 » Sat Apr 27, 2013 9:47 pm

Ericthebearjew wrote:
deathknight928 wrote:I would like to charge Ericthebearjew with "one count of being a bear" as applicable under Springfield law! And would also like to charge him with possibly being Jewish but felt that would be in poor taste and have changed my mind...

Imma maul you, you goddamn speciesist!


Oh god it's loose! Someone call the bear patrol!

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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby sunglasses » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:03 pm

Ok. I wrote it down. Eyebrows you get 20 salmons from Ash and ButtChocolate I am to tell you rosary.

*rubs Ash's tiny tiny shoulders and avoids the giant knife*
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:07 pm

The People vs Sunglasses

Theft by fraud of one trash heap from its rightful recipient, OrangeEyebrows.
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby deathknight928 » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:09 pm

sunglasses wrote:Ok. I wrote it down. Eyebrows you get 20 salmons from Ash and ButtChocolate I am to tell you rosary.

*rubs Ash's tiny tiny shoulders and avoids the giant knife*


Hate to be pedantic (okay that's a lie I love it) ,but isn't the plural form of "salmon" actually "salmon"?
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:13 pm

Yes. But "salmons" is far funnier.
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby sunglasses » Sun Apr 28, 2013 1:54 am

OrangeEyebrows wrote:The People vs Sunglasses

Theft by fraud of one trash heap from its rightful recipient, OrangeEyebrows.


I do not remember stealing a trash heap. If I did you can have it back. I'll even add to it

*backs dump truck up and dumps refuse into the court room.*
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:00 am

Ooh! Trash! Must root through trash! Hey, a slim jim!
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby Nostraa » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:01 am

*picks up stained burgerking crown and places on head*
I claim this trash heap as my kingdom!
*builds throne from old wrappers and soda cans*

Eric you are sued for theft of one slim jim!
I hereby order you beheaded! After him minions!
*flings old banana at Ericthebearjew*
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:42 am

I'll have you know I command an army of quacking toasterbot mecha!
*chanting* צבא עתיק, אני מצווה עליך לקום ואליל בטוסטרים!
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby Nostraa » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:57 am

*builds castle walls out of diapers and prepares the rotten egg artillery*
This means war!
*Fires an old rubber band into Eric's eye*
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby Deathclaw_Puncher » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:25 am

*said in bad Japanese accent* Go forth my minions! Quacking toast shot!
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby Nostraa » Sun Apr 28, 2013 5:39 am

*Fires rotten eggs from her plastic spork catapults at the advancing army.*

Hold your ground my minions! They will never have this land that we have built with our own blood, sweat, tears and children's dreams! This is our land! Our home! And we shall defend it to the last man standing!

*yelling at no one since she doesn't have any minions*
*picks up another rubber band and fires a dead cockroach into Eric's nose*

Ah a rat! I shall call you sir. Ratty and you shall be my general. Go forth now and lead your men into battle!

*throws rat in front of Eric's minions*
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby Australia » Sun Apr 28, 2013 6:28 am

*slowly opens eyes*

Guh? Ooh, my head. Hey! Where's my spleen!? It's not where I left it.

*sees sunglasses rubbing Ash's corpse*

Oi! Careful, lest I charge you with necrophilia. Why can nobody hear me?

*looks down at own body*

Oh. Oh dear.

*sneezes and wakes back up in own body*

Phew. That was a close one. What's all this trash doing here?
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Re: The Comment Section Courthouse

Postby Ashtherion » Sun Apr 28, 2013 7:57 am

Australia wrote:*sees sunglasses rubbing Ash's corpse*

Oi! Careful, lest I charge you with necrophilia.


OBJECTION! Ms. Sunglasses magical neck rub can't be considered necrophilia on the grounds that I'm still alive!
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(by the way, thank you Ms. Sunglasses. My neck hasn't felt so good in a long time.)

The thing is, I've just been feigning my deaths this whole time using death tropes. "But why?" Well, because I've noticed that playing dead is the best means of staying alive when you're in a position of power. I mean let's look back at our judges, shall we? Harp Carpleton and Carp Harpleton were kil- uh put under house arrest, by me (which they seem to have survived. Talk about a disappoi- I mean, -joyous- revelation!), and Australia who succeeded me narrowly survived a gavel-aided murder attempt from an escaped Harp Carpleton!

It seems far less dangerous to simply play dead until such time you need to interject on something. That way, you get to keep all the nonexistent authority and power you supposedly wield since you were never formally recused and preempt any attempted murder attempts by your peers.

With that said, I'm ruling in favour of Ms. Eyebrows in Orange Eyebrows Vs. Eric the Bear Jew case file: #2214, even though she now officially has the means to meet his demands.

*bangs gavel*

NEX-
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urk.
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