Post an absurd explanation for something mundane

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Post an absurd explanation for something mundane

Postby sunglasses » Sun Aug 20, 2017 5:09 pm

Rules: Post a silly, possibly ridiculous explanation to something mundane. Like a true facts type thing. Some guidelines:

1. Nothing violating forum rules
2. Nothing current politically, so nothing from the past 20 years. Seems a good number.

I'll start with the shocking truth on how women actually keep towels wrapped around their hair and bodies so tightly-as if by magic.

It is magic. Ancient black magic.

You see, back during the time of the Assyrians (which is when towels first came about and don't let anyone lie to you) women performed an ancient and forbidden ritual that had been lost to modern times. This has lead to all women having the almost magic ability to tightly wrap a towel around the boobs or head.

Rumor has it the ritual involved summoning a giant chicken and feeding it other chickens bit that must be a mistranslation. Surely. That just seems patently ridiculous.
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Re: Post an absurd explanation for something mundane

Postby SandTea » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:30 am

I get to bullshit with impunity?! I'm going to enjoy this.

First off, I can confirm the towel magic. I once walked in on a ritual in a fancy hotel where there was a woman dressed in what I assume to be Assyrian attire (didn't know the history, thank sunny) who was turning towels into swans. Perhaps that's the mistranslation?

Now onto something that might just blow you away. Fan death is a real thing. You see fans left on for long periods of time collect dust. This dust works as a sponge for pollutants. The areas where fan death was most often reported have high rates of air pollution and we all know that there is normally a higher particulate count indoors than in the breezy bright outside place.

True, it wasn't because of CO2 build-up but it was directly related to having more vulnerable people being blown poisonous smoke in their faces while they slept all night; ie, when their heart rates and blood pressure were lowered and breathing gets an overall increase during REM.

Clean your fans, folk!
edit: I think I got the absurd/mundane thing backwards.
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