Guys Guys Guys (i'm referring to the hopeless celibates in this thread)
I know this is a delicate and emotional topic and I do value your inner struggle to accept yourselves and open to others, so I'll put it in a kind way:
You need a proper kick up your ass!
I hear you talking about your emotional/social state as if it's a given, immutable law of nature, and your attitude towards others as if that couldn't be influenced by a different exposure to different peoples, settings or trying another approach.
You can change within with your external actions, changing your habits, forcing yourself at first to try something different. And yes, you can learn from your mistakes, correct your inadequacies and stop your self-destructive self-pity through sheer determination and perseverance. Experience in dealing with people will make you slowly, painfully but surely better at interacting with others. Wallowing in this fatalistic self pity and "you wouldn't understand, man" just makes me want to slap your self absorbed fat cheeks because I can see a behavior I've been guilty of many times and that is just unhealthy in the long (and short term).
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