Basic life skills

A repository for intrinsically valuable information

Basic life skills

Postby PSTN » Fri Mar 20, 2015 11:38 pm

So... I've been thinking about maybe seeking out mental health care, when I realized that I don't actually know what that entails, exactly. Like, I've seen people talk to therapists on TV, and I'm pretty sure I can safely assume that it's nothing like that (literally everyone that has any expertise in any field that I've heard says "it's nothing like on TV", so I can't imagine this would be any different).

So that leaves the question, what is it, and how am I supposed to access it?

I'm just going to have to admit here (to my own embarrassment) that I have literally no experience with non-emergency healthcare. If I have a non-emergency medical issue that I want looked after I usually either just leave it or I create an emergency (cut myself deep enough to need stitches or break a finger) and casually mention it to the doctor that ends up treating me.

I'd rather not have to do this (for obvious reasons), but I don't know what the "official channels" are for these things, so I'm stuck as to how to move forward.

Also, it basically has to be on Sunday. I work for my parents, and I really don't want to involve them, but since I work 8-6, Monday to Saturday, it can't be within those hours, or I'll have to ask for time off work.

Also, what actually happens? I've only talked to a professional once (well, several times, but it was the same guy and all part of the same... "experience") when I was committed to a psych ward after a suicide attempt, and that mostly revolved around evaluations and having stuff like my legal rights explained to me. Basically just ensuring I was fit enough to leave. But they also handled stuff like scheduling and medication, which I don't know how I'm supposed to do. Also, I imagine "real" mental healthcare is more... "long term" oriented. So does that mean I'll have to talk to multiple different people? What are we supposed to talk about? Basically, what actually happens?
  • 10

User avatar
PSTN
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1422
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2015 1:24 am
Show rep
Title: II

Re: Basic life skills

Postby Learned Nand » Sat Mar 21, 2015 1:06 am

So, I can't help you too much with access, especially without knowing what country you're in. But I have had a good deal of mental healthcare (which has helped me turn into the beacon of normality you see today), and can tell you a bit what that's like.

You are probably going to want a psychiatrist and a therapist. The psychiatrist you will not see too regularly, but he's equipped to perform diagnoses and prescribe medication. You'll talk to him about how you've been, particularly with regards to any of your symptoms, and he'll make a diagnosis and prescribe medication appropriately, much like a general practitioner. You'll probably need to adjust your medication a few times, but should eventually find a medication or combination thereof without too many side effects that helps. It's important to take medication consistently so that you can evaluate its effectiveness.

A therapist you'll see more often, probably around once a week depending on what you need. The reason people say it's nothing like TV is because on Television it tends to be much more dramatic; each session will not be filled with personal revelations, divulging of secrets you could barely admit to yourself, etc. The therapist is really there much more to help you with day-to-day issues you encounter, either due to your mental illness in general. So therapy sessions will mostly involve you talking about your week, especially once you and your therapist get to know each other more.
  • 18

Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Click for a Limerick
OrangeEyebrows wrote:There once was a guy, Aviel,
whose arguments no one could quell.
He tested with Turing,
his circuits fried during,
and now we'll have peace for a spell.
User avatar
Learned Nand
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9858
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:18 pm
Location: Permanently in the wrong
Show rep
Title: Auditor of Reality

Re: Basic life skills

Postby cmsellers » Sat Mar 21, 2015 2:10 am

Basically, what aviel said. I too have been seeing therapists most of my life. I would add a couple things though.

Firstly, the psychiatrist who gives me diagnoses and the one who gives me medications are different people. I need to get my AS diagnosis "renewed" periodically (roughly once a decade), because if we've learned anything from Jenny McCarthy, you can stop being autistic if your family members are crazy enough. (Sadly, mine are not, so autistic I shall remain.) When this is required, whoever is requiring it usually has a specific list of psychiatrists they want to confirm my diagnosis, so I just go with one of them.

As for medications, I refused to take them for a long time, and finally saw a guy who had been recommended, who pawned me off to a registered nurse in the same practice. The nurse never bothered to warn me about the side effects he was prescribing; I nearly failed a test in one class because one of them shot my short term memory, and the practice was in general poorly run. The nurse would always be 15-30 minutes late, and shoe me out in 5-10 minutes, no matter how I wanted to ask about the new drugs he was trying. And the clinic was inconsistent about its reminder calls. The final straw was when I forgot an appointment (one where I didn't get a reminder call) and got charged an eighty-dollar no-show fee. Naturally they wouldn't reduce of waive the fee; fortunately, they'd forgotten to have me sign the form where I agreed to it. Still, at that point I switched providers.

The new guy I saw was an actual psychiatrist (two of them now; the old one retired from the practice), who not only takes the time to explain any and all potential side effects, but takes the time to ask me about how my life is going generally. He's also always on time, the office sends both email and phone reminders. (Even if I somehow miss an appointment, the no-show fee is a much more reasonable $25.) I will say that I still have issues with pills, which is stupid, because when I take them they help with mood disorders (I have depression and anxiety because autism is oddly fond of company for a disorder which makes dealing with people so difficult) in ways that the best therapist cannot. If anybody tells you that you shouldn't let pills mess with Mother Nature's wonderful plans for your brain: that person is nuts; tell them that you just saw Dr. Oz and run far, far, away while their heads are turned.

My therapist is a social worker. Most of my life, I saw psychologists, and they were incredibly unhelpful. I only saw one Freudian, but most schools of psychology seem to be heavily influenced by Rogerian psychology. Psychologists would ask how I feel, or what I think I should do to solve a problem, and I don't find that helpful. My social worker also asks a lot of questions to try to lead me to the solution, but they're more helpful, things like "what are your options regarding [x]?" or "what's the worst that would happen if you don't do [y]?" And when I explicitly ask him what he thinks I should do, he will tell me what he or other clients have done in similar situations. Not all of his advise is helpful, but enough are to make it worth his while.

I've also started seeing a life coach who specializes in autism spectrum disorders. Just had my first session today, actually, so it was mostly me explaining my educational and employment history. I've never had a great opinion of life-coaching as a profession (there's no central accreditation), but the Commonwealth is paying for eight sessions, so I figure it's worth a shot. Certainly people who've worked with this particular program have been happy with the results. I figure if any life coach is any good, this guy probably will be. If he is, I'll let you know the sort of things he does; if he isn't I will be able to assert from experience that clinical psychologists are just life coaches with more formal training.
  • 13

David Wong wrote:7. "But this is the last non-terrible forum on the internet! The rest are full of trolls and Nazis!"

That's just not true at all.
User avatar
cmsellers
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9316
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:20 pm
Location: Not *that* Bay Area
Show rep
Title: Broken Record Player

Re: Basic life skills

Postby Learned Nand » Sat Mar 21, 2015 2:27 am

Yeah, getting treatment from a therapist who is a Freudian is essentially like getting treatment from a doctor who believes that diseases are caused by an imbalance in the bodily humours. So if you come across a Freudian therapist, just say that he or she reminds you of one of your parents, and you find the resulting arousal too distracting to continue; they'll understand.
  • 23

Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Click for a Limerick
OrangeEyebrows wrote:There once was a guy, Aviel,
whose arguments no one could quell.
He tested with Turing,
his circuits fried during,
and now we'll have peace for a spell.
User avatar
Learned Nand
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9858
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:18 pm
Location: Permanently in the wrong
Show rep
Title: Auditor of Reality

Re: Basic life skills

Postby PSTN » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:02 am

Yeah. I was thinking more along the lines of what the exact protocol is. Like, do I just walk into a place and take a number, or do I have to set up an appointment? If I have to set up an appointment, then what's the protocol for that? Etc.

Once I actually get into an office, who talks first? Me or them? What kinds of things am I supposed to say? What kinds of things are they going to say? If I get put on medication, how does that work? Do they just hand me a bottle of pills, or do I have to go get them myself? If so, where? What if I can't afford them? What's their metric for effectiveness? Etc.

I looked up "mental health resources [my town]" and the only results I found were addiction counseling and spousal abuse services. There's some province wide services, but Alberta health services' website only listed a bunch of phone numbers, so, you know, fuck.
  • 11

User avatar
PSTN
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1422
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2015 1:24 am
Show rep
Title: II

Re: Basic life skills

Postby NathanLoiselle » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:06 am

Avi. You remind me of one of my parents and I find the resulting arousal too distracting to continue. I hope you understand.
  • 11

User avatar
NathanLoiselle
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 4484
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:49 am
Location: You'll Never Know!
Show rep

Re: Basic life skills

Postby NathanLoiselle » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:11 am

PSTN wrote:Yeah. I was thinking more along the lines of what the exact protocol is. Like, do I just walk into a place and take a number, or do I have to set up an appointment? If I have to set up an appointment, then what's the protocol for that? Etc.

Once I actually get into an office, who talks first? Me or them? What kinds of things am I supposed to say? What kinds of things are they going to say? If I get put on medication, how does that work? Do they just hand me a bottle of pills, or do I have to go get them myself? If so, where? What if I can't afford them? What's their metric for effectiveness? Etc.

I looked up "mental health resources [my town]" and the only results I found were addiction counseling and spousal abuse services. There's some province wide services, but Alberta health services' website only listed a bunch of phone numbers, so, you know, fuck.


Chances are you likely need a referral from you family doctor. If you don't have one of those then just look up 'doctors' in your phone book and start calling them to find out if they are taking patients on. The first question asked probably is what to expect. After all, it seems like something you know you want to know.
  • 4

User avatar
NathanLoiselle
TCS Junkie
TCS Junkie
 
Posts: 4484
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:49 am
Location: You'll Never Know!
Show rep

Re: Basic life skills

Postby Learned Nand » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:22 am

I can't really help you with some country-specific stuff, as I don't live in Canada. My guess is you should talk to a doctor you know and trust and ask him to refer you somewhere. Anyway:

Once I actually get into an office, who talks first? Me or them? What kinds of things am I supposed to say? What kinds of things are they going to say?

That will vary depending on the therapist and depending on you. There's no set rules here. Think of it as a normal conversation with an acquaintance. The therapist might ask you some questions but really it's pretty unstructured.
  • 7

Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Click for a Limerick
OrangeEyebrows wrote:There once was a guy, Aviel,
whose arguments no one could quell.
He tested with Turing,
his circuits fried during,
and now we'll have peace for a spell.
User avatar
Learned Nand
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9858
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:18 pm
Location: Permanently in the wrong
Show rep
Title: Auditor of Reality

Re: Basic life skills

Postby PSTN » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:34 am

aviel wrote:My guess is you should talk to a doctor you know and trust and ask him to refer you somewhere.


I don't know if you read the part where I've broken a finger so I could get a skin condition looked at, but I'm not really "hip" with a lot of doctors.

aviel wrote:Think of it as a normal conversation with an acquaintance.


Also not a thing I'm especially comfortable with. It's one of the things I was hoping to get help with.
  • 4

User avatar
PSTN
Time Waster
Time Waster
 
Posts: 1422
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2015 1:24 am
Show rep
Title: II

Re: Basic life skills

Postby Learned Nand » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:38 am

PSTN wrote:
aviel wrote:My guess is you should talk to a doctor you know and trust and ask him to refer you somewhere.


I don't know if you read the part where I've broken a finger so I could get a skin condition looked at, but I'm not really "hip" with a lot of doctors.

Get a referral from a (preferably Jewish) friend to a doctor he or she trusts. You are going to want to have a good GP.

Also not a thing I'm especially comfortable with. It's one of the things I was hoping to get help with.

This well help. In part, it's practice.
  • 7

Terry Pratchett wrote:The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Click for a Limerick
OrangeEyebrows wrote:There once was a guy, Aviel,
whose arguments no one could quell.
He tested with Turing,
his circuits fried during,
and now we'll have peace for a spell.
User avatar
Learned Nand
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9858
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:18 pm
Location: Permanently in the wrong
Show rep
Title: Auditor of Reality

Re: Basic life skills

Postby cmsellers » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:41 am

NathanLoiselle wrote:Chances are you likely need a referral from you family doctor. If you don't have one of those then just look up 'doctors' in your phone book and start calling them to find out if they are taking patients on. The first question asked probably is what to expect. After all, it seems like something you know you want to know.

I've been on mediocre private insurance (my mother's insurance), gold-plated private insurance (my father's insurance), and MassHealth, which is probably fairly similar to the Canadian public health system in its procedures.

Under all of those insurers, you explicitly don't need a referral for mental health services; they're pretty much the only specialists where you don't. I've also found that in the United States, most services are owned by large conglomerations, who will generally try to refer you to a provider in your network whenever possible. This may not be what you want, so if possible, I'd find recommendations if possible.

You do need an appointment to see any mental health provider. In the United States, Psychiatrist appointments for meds are usually 15 or 20 minutes. Diagnostic appointments with a psychiatrist will vary; for autism they usually take several hours, getting an official diagnosis for depression took a half hour slot the one time I did it. Often the psychiatrist will want a consultation before doing diagnostic testing. Therapist appointments are usually 45-55 minutes, which 50 being the most common length.

I don't know how large your town is, but domestic violence counseling, substance counseling, and suicide prevention hotlines are often staffed by people without the formal qualifications to be general purpose therapists. My cousin worked on a suicide hotline, and she basically had a little training program and then was ready to work. Psychologists and social workers generally have at least a Master's degree; the person running the substance counseling program may not even have a BA. In other words, you might not expect to find a therapist in your town; I live in a rural area which isn't nearly as sparsely populated as Alberta, and I have to drive two towns over for my therapist and formerly had to cross four town lines to see my psychiatrist (he's now one town over, one day a week).

Phone phobias suck; I have one myself, but unfortunately medicine seems to still be stuck in the 70s. Independent practitioners may respond to emails (my social worker does, but he also takes up to a week to respond), but if they're part of any sort of practice, you'll need to contact them by phone. My psychiatrist and primary care person work at (separate) multi-practice medical groups, which both recently put medical records online, and yet somehow still haven't made it possible to book or reschedule appointments over the phone. If your phone phobia is completely insurmountable, you'll either need to have someone else make the phone calls for you or go into the practice in person.

Any rate, my suggestion is to first see if you know anybody know might know a good mental health professional. If that fails, google: "psychiatrist" if you're looking for drugs for a mood disorder or a diagnosis, and "social worker" for therapy, and try neighboring towns and the nearest city of any size. Before you even make an appointment, you will need to find out if they take your insurance and if you need a referral. And if seeing psychiatrist, you will need to find out what services they offer, since psychiatrists tend to specialize in diagnosis, medication, or therapy, or specialize in specific disorders and provide services in all three areas. Which unfortunately means either a phone call or talking to a receptionist, unless you can find an email address.
  • 5

David Wong wrote:7. "But this is the last non-terrible forum on the internet! The rest are full of trolls and Nazis!"

That's just not true at all.
User avatar
cmsellers
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9316
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:20 pm
Location: Not *that* Bay Area
Show rep
Title: Broken Record Player

Re: Basic life skills

Postby cmsellers » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:48 am

aviel wrote:
Also not a thing I'm especially comfortable with. It's one of the things I was hoping to get help with.

This well help. In part, it's practice.

Yeah, that's a case of "easier said than done" avi.

Telling someone with social anxiety to just practice getting over it is a bit like telling someone with clinical depression to "cheer up," or telling someone having a panic attack to "calm down."

I say this as someone who suffers from or has suffered from all three conditions.

Despite what people seem to think, mental health problems are not in some metaphysical "mind," they're in the physical brain. Most people wouldn't tell a paraplegic to "just get up off your ass," and nobody would tell an amputee to "just act like you still have that hand." (Well, except when treating phantom pain.)
  • 1

David Wong wrote:7. "But this is the last non-terrible forum on the internet! The rest are full of trolls and Nazis!"

That's just not true at all.
User avatar
cmsellers
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9316
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:20 pm
Location: Not *that* Bay Area
Show rep
Title: Broken Record Player

Re: Basic life skills

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:50 am

I think you misunderstood avi's intention there. It's not unhelpful telling someone that a therapist is a safe and non-judgemental environment where you can learn the skills associated with personal interaction and become more comfortable with applying them.
  • 11

A society without redemption would damn us all ~ Kate
User avatar
OrangeEyebrows
TCS Moderator
TCS Moderator
 
Posts: 5700
Joined: Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:48 pm
Location: Dormouse-like in a teapot
Show rep
Title: Magnifitail

Re: Basic life skills

Postby cmsellers » Sat Mar 21, 2015 3:54 am

OrangeEyebrows wrote:I think you misunderstood avi's intention there. It's not unhelpful telling someone that a therapist is a safe and non-judgemental environment where you can learn the skills associated with personal interaction and become more comfortable with applying them.

The problem is that he's suggesting PSTN should work on getting over his phone phobia before he speaks to a therapist.

Cold calling a bunch of people about arranging a service is the second-most nervewracking sort of phone call, at least for me (the worst being a job interview).


Edit: Oh, I see, avi was talking about talking with the therapist.

PSTN: One thing to keep in mind is that therapists are trained on how to be easy to talk to. Also, they have to be non-judgemental. You could tell a therapist that you have fantasies about eating babies, fucking dead goats, and killing all the people in Canada with a nuclear weapon acquired from the North Koreans, and he can't call you a "baby-eating, dead-goat-fucking, genocidal, treasonous lunatic," no matter how much he may be thinking it.
  • 4

David Wong wrote:7. "But this is the last non-terrible forum on the internet! The rest are full of trolls and Nazis!"

That's just not true at all.
User avatar
cmsellers
Back-End Admin
Back-End Admin
 
Posts: 9316
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:20 pm
Location: Not *that* Bay Area
Show rep
Title: Broken Record Player

Re: Basic life skills

Postby Tesseracts » Sat Mar 21, 2015 4:10 am

I'm not a doctor but I have a basic life skill. My basic life skill is not breaking my own fingers. Please learn this basic life skill.

Although, actually, if breaking your fingers is the only way you can get minor problems checked out, maybe breaking your fingers is a net good? I mean, not that breaking your fingers is good. But maybe it’s better than simply letting yourself go entirely untreated. If you leave a skin rash untreated, it may evolve into cancer. That's how it works.

This is a predicament... I just don’t know any more.
cmsellers wrote:
aviel wrote:
Also not a thing I'm especially comfortable with. It's one of the things I was hoping to get help with.

This well help. In part, it's practice.

Yeah, that's a case of "easier said than done" avi.

Telling someone with social anxiety to just practice getting over it is a bit like telling someone with clinical depression to "cheer up," or telling someone having a panic attack to "calm down."

I say this as someone who suffers from or has suffered from all three conditions.

Despite what people seem to think, mental health problems are not in some metaphysical "mind," they're in the physical brain. Most people wouldn't tell a paraplegic to "just get up off your ass," and nobody would tell an amputee to "just act like you still have that hand." (Well, except when treating phantom pain.)

You’re reading way too much into his post. To be more specific you’re reading a bunch of condescending bullshit into the post that he didn’t actually say. Besides, everyone knows amputees are a bunch of lazy fucks who expect society to give them handouts of free hands. You were born with a perfectly good hand already, asshole. Next time, try EARNING your extra hands like EVERYONE ELSE does.
  • 5

User avatar
Tesseracts
Big Brother
Big Brother
 
Posts: 9653
Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:31 am
Show rep
Title: Social Media Expert

Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest