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Ask a Brit

Postby CarrieVS » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:00 pm

Welcome to our green and pleasant land. So, is it true that the only hot drink allowed over here is tea? Do we really all talk like that*? How do you pronounce 'Cholmondley St John'? What exactly are the rules of cricket?

Our much-loved OrangeEyebrows and myself will attempt to answer any questions you might have about Britain.

Now, please form an orderly queue...




*You know. Like Brits in non-British films. Like this
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby Marcuse » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:04 pm

Why does it always rain here?

Why are all our politicians basically the same?

Why don't we have any manufacturing industry any more?

Why is it that what feels like 50% of our population reads the fucking Sun?
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:21 pm

To answer Carrie's questions (My dear, I hesitate to bring up such a delicate subject, but you're supposed to be answering these questions, not asking them),

Yes, no, "Chumley-Sinjun", and "Who cares, it's an excuse for tea".
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby CarrieVS » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:27 pm

OrangeEyebrows wrote:To answer Carrie's questions (My dear, I hesitate to bring up such a delicate subject, but you're supposed to be answering these questions, not asking them),

Yes, no, "Chumley-Sinjun", and "Who cares, it's an excuse for tea".


They were only meant to be example questions. But thank you ever so much anyway, my dear chum. Would you care for a cuppa?

Also I can explain 90% of the rules of cricket if anyone actually wants me to. The other ten percent can only be learned through black magic.
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Last edited by CarrieVS on Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby JamesT » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:27 pm

Is it true that you need a license for a TV set?
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:31 pm

Yes. It's to do with the BBC being independent / not showing adverts. It's cheaper to get a license for a black and white TV than for a colour TV. And yes, they do check.
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby CarrieVS » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:37 pm

Strictly speaking, you actually only need a TV license to watch TV, not for the actual television set. If you have it just for DVDs or games consoles, you're fine. I couldn't absolutely swear that you don't need to have the aerial removed or some such, though.And although they check, you don't have to let them in or answer any questions, it;s up to them to prove you're watching TV, not up to you to prove you aren't, and they probably can't prove anything unless they bring their detector with them, and the enforcers work on commission, so if you know your rights and don't let them intimidate you they probably won't think it's worth it.

Also there are certain loopholes, but they will do their best to convince you there aren't, to the point of being deliberately misleading.
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby FaceTheCitizen » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:40 pm

What's with the all riots? This is a legitimate question, I'm not trying to be a smart-ass.
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby Marcuse » Tue Jul 02, 2013 10:02 pm

I'm sure Orange or Carrie have their own answer, but as far as I knew there haven't been any riots since 2011.

They were started ostensibly because of the death of Mark Duggan who was shot by police when the tried to arrest him. Apparently gangsters have a lot of respec' so they started rioting in Tottenham in reaction to this.

From there it spread into a giant ball of fuck-whittery. There was no purpose, no political agenda behind them, it was simply violence and criminality for it's own sake. Several cities saw copycat action as well. For me the most telling image wasn't the century-old carpet warehouse burning down, or the police being urged to use water cannons, though they were all in Northern Ireland. To me it was the picture of a youth leaving a Tesco with a pilfered bag of Tesco Value Basmati Rice, worth about £2. It was really that pointless and destructive.
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby Tablo » Tue Jul 02, 2013 10:48 pm

The worst picture was a nan robbing a shoe shop with her grandchildren.Damn rioters stopped me from going library for 3 days.
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby NisiOptimum » Tue Jul 02, 2013 10:52 pm

As Dara O'Briain (yes that is the correct spelling) put it "It wasn't so much a riot as a very violent shopping trip."
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby D-LOGAN » Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:30 pm

Can we have Northern Ireland back? ......ah you know what, forget it, keep it. You've probably gotten it all sticky by now anyway, I've seen the way you lot eat jam sandwiches!

JamesT wrote:Is it true that you need a license for a TV set?


Wow, I genuinely didn't know a TV licence wasn't a universal thing for everyone. I just assumed every country did it. Now I'm wondering if there are places out there where you need a Toaster Licence! This world of ours never ceases to surprise (and terror-ouse) me.
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby NisiOptimum » Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:32 pm

OrangeEyebrows wrote:Yes. It's to do with the BBC being independent / not showing adverts. It's cheaper to get a license for a black and white TV than for a colour TV. And yes, they do check.


They don't check it that well. I don't have a TV and I still get a threatening form letter from them every few months demanding to know why I haven't paid my license like the filthy crook I am.
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby aviel » Wed Jul 03, 2013 12:05 am

So, this is for Brits and Irishmen: what was the deal with Northern Ireland? Outside of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict I don't know much about territorial disputes, so what was the deal? I know there were some terrorists and ultimately it got resolved with Britain retaining a chunk of Ireland in the north, but I don't know much else. Was the problem specifically with those terrorists or was the Irish population behind them as well? With whom were these agreements negotiated? When did the conflict start (and I know you could go back to Mary and Henry VIII and stuff but I'd imagine there's somewhat of a more recent origin)? And how much role did religion play? Etc.
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Re: Ask a Brit

Postby Cullenmcpimpin » Wed Jul 03, 2013 12:11 am

Were all the dentists killed in some sort of Holocaust or sort of dentist cleansing to prevent tooth cleansing?
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