I like my...

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Re: I like my...

Postby Edgar Cabrera » Mon May 11, 2015 2:05 pm

I like my women like I like my wine: Over 18 years old.
DamianaRaven wrote:I like my men like I like my coffee - ground up and stored in the freezer.

You know, I once posted something similar in Cracked, but with beer, and I got downvoted to hell.
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James Bond: "Red wine with fish. Well, that should have told me something."
Red Grant: "You may know the right wines, but you're the one on your knees. How does it feel, old man?"
From Russia with Love

"This woman is an idiot without a basic grasp of the English language, and the guy is an abusive creepy weirdo."
– JamesT's review of Fifty Shades of Grey.
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Re: I like my...

Postby Australia » Mon May 11, 2015 4:03 pm

That's because it's sexist to do that to a woman. Didn't they teach you anything at your mandatory gender equality rehabilitation course?

Image

...Was I the only one who had to take that class?
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Re: I like my...

Postby Delta Jim » Tue May 12, 2015 4:50 am

It's also because all the good commenters are on TCS now, leaving only the people with no sense of humor.

Back on topic...

I like my lovers like I like my food. Hot, greasy, and probably not healthy for me.
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Re: I like my...

Postby gregfrankenstein » Sun May 17, 2015 6:24 am

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Re: I like my...

Postby Matthew Notch » Wed May 27, 2015 5:44 pm

I like my sexual encounters like I like my work days: long, sweaty, gritty, occasionally bloody affairs that frequently end with muscle aches and a general contempt for all humans anywhere, but especially those who buy refrigerators.
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It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: I like my...

Postby iMURDAu » Thu May 28, 2015 12:49 pm

I like my sexual encounters to be like waiting on a customer at work. Brief with forced small talk, money exchanging hands and I get to handle (chicken) breasts if I'm lucky.
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"Our landfills are third world bling"
- Doug Stanhope
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Re: I like my...

Postby ghijkmnop » Thu May 28, 2015 10:09 pm

I like my women like I like my Scotch: Smooth, smoky, and over 30 years old.
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Erogenous zones, I love you.
Without you, what would a poor boy do?
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Re: I like my...

Postby Delta Jim » Sat Oct 22, 2016 4:13 am

I like my sexual partners like I like my threads, dead and forgotten for over a year before I decide to have some fun with them.

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Re: I like my...

Postby JamishT » Sat Oct 22, 2016 7:07 am

I like my women like I like my pickles: slippery, greenish, and sliced up.
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JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: I like my...

Postby NotTedCruz » Sat Oct 22, 2016 8:39 pm

I like my women like I like my government: too small to fight back.
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Not the Junior Senator from Texas. Not the 46th president of the United States. Definitely not the only hope for America's future.
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Re: I like my...

Postby NathanLoiselle » Sat Oct 22, 2016 11:58 pm

I like my government like I like my, my... my.... what are we talking about again?
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Re: I like my...

Postby Tesseracts » Mon Oct 24, 2016 7:03 pm

I like my men like I like my presidential candidates, willing to say or do anything for my approval.
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Re: I like my...

Postby Delta Jim » Tue Oct 25, 2016 12:07 am

I like my men like I like my presidents, soft-spoken, but carrying a big stick. ;)
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Re: I like my...

Postby cmsellers » Wed Dec 14, 2016 6:20 am

I like my women like I like my tea: hot, slightly bitter, and not wearing any clothes.
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Re: I like my...

Postby Piter Lauchy » Wed Dec 14, 2016 2:24 pm

I like my "I like my..." jokes like I like my unit of length: meta.

I like my sex like I like my puns: forced.
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The Oatmeal wrote:Live life passionately and love everyone like they are family, because Jesus is always with you. Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He'd hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He'd windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee's knees. [...]
Praise Jesus, especially when it's sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.
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