Magic H8 Ball

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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby TwoSheds » Tue Aug 25, 2015 8:21 pm

Yes. Your fear of going outside will become so crippling that you simply won't have time to worry about anything else, let alone drowning. Hurray for you!

Magic H8 Ball, what is best in life?
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Fire up the tulley toggle.
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby jbobsully11 » Tue Aug 25, 2015 8:31 pm

Hatred, clearly. What were you expecting me to say, "love" or something? *mutters* People...

Hagic H8 ball, what's your favorite music genre?
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Crimson847 wrote:In other words, transgender-friendly privacy laws don't molest people, people molest people.

(Presumably, the only way to stop a bad guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law is a good guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law, and thus transgender-friendly privacy law rights need to be enshrined in the Constitution as well)
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby ghijkmnop » Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:42 am

Redacted
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Last edited by ghijkmnop on Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby SilverMaple » Wed Aug 26, 2015 1:27 am

The guitar itself is fine, that's just the sound of the guitar echoing through the infinite hollowness that you have in place of a soul.

Magic H8 Ball, how many jobs do I need to apply for before I get an interview?
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Bert wrote:The best part of my job is fistfighting an 8 year old every day.


//Friend come and go, like the wave in the ocean, but true ones stay like an octopus on our face.\\
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby mancityfooty » Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:15 pm

As infinite a number as there are stars in the sky,
or every grain of sand on all the worlds beaches.
Plus one.


Magic H8 Ball, why does the blue water inside of you taste so good?
  • 3

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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby Nullbert » Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:09 pm

Because your brain (or whatever you have that passes for one) is desperately trying to distract you from the agonising pain of your taste-buds disintegrating.

Why does my beer taste funny?
  • 4

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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby mancityfooty » Sat Aug 29, 2015 12:53 am

Does it taste like bitter almonds?
Good, that means the dose of arsenic was enough.
Drink up. Now.


Magic H8 ball, will it rain tonight?
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby RainyDays » Sat Aug 29, 2015 5:51 am

Yeah it will. The sky starts crying every time it realizes you still exist.

Magic H8 ball, when will the road construction end?
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby DoglovingJim » Sat Aug 29, 2015 11:20 am

RainyDays wrote:Yeah it will. The sky starts crying every time it realizes you still exist.

I would just like to point out that I found it unexpectedly humorous that someone called "RainyDays" would reply to a question about whether or not it would rain.

Anyway, carry on chaps.


RainyDays wrote:Magic H8 ball, when will the road construction end?
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Image

Edgar Cabrera wrote:HOLY SHIT GUYS, IT'S DOGLOVINGJIM!!! HE'S HERE!!!

skoobadive wrote:It's the legendary DoglovingJim! Ohboy, this must be the greatest day of my life!

Cracked.com wrote:Initially, his interest in animals was "primarily a sexual attraction," but as he grew older, he also "developed the emotional attraction." We guess we could call what Jim does ... dog-lovin'
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby Matthew Notch » Sat Sep 05, 2015 9:37 am

Okay, I tried to ignore this but it has GOT to be addressed...

TwoSheds wrote:Magic H8 Ball, what is best in life?


To see my enemies driven, to see them scatter and trample over you and your annoying lamenting women, and to hear the satisfying squick squick noise each footfall on your mushy corpse produces.

OKAY!

RainyDays wrote:Magic H8 ball, when will the road construction end?


Is... is that a serious question? You're consulting an all-knowing, unfeeling, spiteful oracle, and you're using it... to ask about ROAD CONSTRUCTION? How long have you been on roads in your life? You know how this goes. You know what, you know what... no. I'm not doing this. I'm not your little joke setup monkey. Damn you to hell for that question. Next time ask me something that can't be answered with like five minutes of legwork. Gah...

Magic H8 ball, what is the nature of man's imperfection?
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It's Dangerous to Go Alone


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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby skooma » Sun Sep 06, 2015 11:56 pm

Sigh, there's no imperfection, I make you that way on purpose. As the primary source for all your mass media, I keep hoping you'll learn so I can go on vacation.

Magic H8 ball, is getting knocked into holes on a table with a stick a metaphor for all of life?
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Skooma seems the type of person to chase me down and force me at gun point to receive their encomium with good graces. ~Jack Road

* I got caught in the crossfire of one of skooma's fucking frisbees ~Sister Morphine
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby DoglovingJim » Mon Sep 07, 2015 8:46 am

skooma wrote:Sigh, there's no imperfection, I make you that way on purpose. As the primary source for all your mass media, I keep hoping you'll learn so I can go on vacation.

Magic H8 ball, is getting knocked into holes on a table with a stick a metaphor for all of life?


Ask yo momma, because I heard a black guy poked his own stick down her hole last night on your dining room table.

Image


Most likely she would say that it's simply a metaphor for black-cock
Image

Oh Magic H8 ball. How did Hitler justify sending all those Jews to the gas-chambers?
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Image

Edgar Cabrera wrote:HOLY SHIT GUYS, IT'S DOGLOVINGJIM!!! HE'S HERE!!!

skoobadive wrote:It's the legendary DoglovingJim! Ohboy, this must be the greatest day of my life!

Cracked.com wrote:Initially, his interest in animals was "primarily a sexual attraction," but as he grew older, he also "developed the emotional attraction." We guess we could call what Jim does ... dog-lovin'
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby Matthew Notch » Mon Sep 07, 2015 10:28 am

Funny you should ask. My cousin, Future Some1 Ball, was the going oracle right around the time lil' Adolf was in art school. So he asks him, hey, show me the future of humanity. And my cousin, who's a bit of a dick, showed him the worst example of a future some1 ever, you see where I'm going with this. He decides he has to find some way to massively affect the gene pool, maybe a genocide with a few other undesirables for added effect? Anything to keep you from being born.

Course at some point he got confused and sidetracked and then decided the only way to get enough manpower to run a killing operation of that size was to pick an easy target. See, he can't just say, "Kill this dog loving fellow's ancestors who are our contemporaries", can he? So he sees some general dislike of Jews, they look like the depression isn't screwing them and that hacks some Germans off. Not Hitler; honestly he couldn't have cared less who died, long as they kept you from existing. So he goes, "well Jews then, but maybe the gays too because they're kind of icky," and the rest, as they say, is history.

You may recognize this as a failure because here you are, ironically asking about Hitler. See, he stupidly thought he could CHANGE the future he saw, but it has never worked like that. So yeah, Hitler was kind of a knob, but ultimately he pulled those shenanigans because he saw you and he wept for the future of humanity.

So, you know, thanks for that.

Magic H8 Ball, whatever happened to Future Some1 Ball anyway?
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It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby skooma » Mon Jan 18, 2016 8:27 am

I see you don't believe his story about a long vacation; well, you're right, they tried to vaporize him from space for eerily effective supervilliany, but they can't, and he just won't take your calls.

Magic H8 Ball, will I ever get an incarnation where I'm not an insomniac?

Must Necro
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Skooma seems the type of person to chase me down and force me at gun point to receive their encomium with good graces. ~Jack Road

* I got caught in the crossfire of one of skooma's fucking frisbees ~Sister Morphine
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby Maize » Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:16 pm

Yes, you will no longer be an insomniac, but you'll constantly have morning breath and a permanent layer of crust and slobber on your face.

Magic H8 Ball, will the world ever learn about the wonders of soylent green?
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