Magic H8 Ball

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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby Matthew Notch » Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:49 pm

If they didn't learn back in the seventies, then I'm not sure they're ever going to get it.

Magic H8 Ball, is it just me who's awful or is it everyone in the world? If the former, why are you mean to everyone then? And if the latter, then doesn't that mean you're awful too?
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It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby Piter Lauchy » Sun Jan 24, 2016 8:36 pm

Your question assumes that a) awfulness is time constant and b) there aren't different levels of awfulness.
This means that you, in this moment, are the most awful person on the entire planet and at any point in time. Others are awful, too, but right now, you're their champion. Congratulations. The second I'll insult someone else, that trophy goes to them.
As for me, I am above awfulness. I am the aw.

Magic H8 Ball, how do I keep myself motivated to do something productive?
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The Oatmeal wrote:Live life passionately and love everyone like they are family, because Jesus is always with you. Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He'd hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He'd windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee's knees. [...]
Praise Jesus, especially when it's sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby DoglovingJim » Tue Jan 26, 2016 12:06 pm

Piter Lauchy wrote:Your question assumes that a) awfulness is time constant and b) there aren't different levels of awfulness.
This means that you, in this moment, are the most awful person on the entire planet and at any point in time. Others are awful, too, but right now, you're their champion. Congratulations. The second I'll insult someone else, that trophy goes to them.
As for me, I am above awfulness. I am the aw.

Magic H8 Ball, how do I keep myself motivated to do something productive?

Simple, by acknowledging how happy everyone else would be once you killed yourself.

Magic H8 Ball, why am I practically the stupidest and most ugly person to ever walk in Gods green earth? Bloody hell everybody is so much better than me in every aspect, especially Piter Lauchy.
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby Ccharge » Mon Feb 01, 2016 8:37 am

Because everybody needs a lowest common denominator.

Magic H8 Ball, what is love? Will my baby ever stop hurting me?
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby jbobsully11 » Sun May 08, 2016 5:57 am

epic bump
a human construct meant for everyone else but you, and not until you're dead, respectively

Magic H8 Ball, will I end up living in a van down by the river? If so, will it at least be a nice van?
  • 3

Crimson847 wrote:In other words, transgender-friendly privacy laws don't molest people, people molest people.

(Presumably, the only way to stop a bad guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law is a good guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law, and thus transgender-friendly privacy law rights need to be enshrined in the Constitution as well)
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby Matthew Notch » Sun May 08, 2016 2:56 pm

You're delusional if you think you're even getting a van. Although you could turn things around if you quit trying to get jobs doing whatever it is you're doing and start training to be a motivational speaker. Then you MIGHT get a van.

Magic H8 Ball, am I a cuck?
  • 3

It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby JamishT » Mon May 09, 2016 4:55 am

Definitely. The cuckiest cuck. I generally don't give out cucks, but you're certainly one.



Hey Magic H8 Ball, am I a feminist?
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby AdricDePsycho » Thu Jun 16, 2016 7:03 pm

No, you're an MRA who lazes around shouting for sandwiches and wearing that shitty hat you call a fedora but is actually a trilby. Grow some fucking class.

Magic H8 Ball, who is fairest of them all?
  • 2

We all go a little mad sometimes...I'm just a little mad all of the time!
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby CarrieVS » Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:56 pm

Well if 'them all' is you, a two-headed coin, and three dead raccoons, each more bloated with decomposition than the last, I guess it's a toss-up between the coin and the first raccoon. It came up heads but I'm not sure I should trust it, and when I tossed the raccoon the head and tail both came off and now there's maggots everywhere.

Magic H8 Ball, how should I vote in the EU referendum next week?
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A Combustible Lemon wrote:Death is an archaic concept for simpleminded commonfolk, not Victorian scientist whales.
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby Matthew Notch » Sat Aug 20, 2016 1:30 am

You should vote to stay. That'll definitely make the difference. Good luck!

Magic H8 Ball, why are comedians choosing to take potshots at the world's largest, most stationary target with his own gravitational pull?
  • 4

It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby jbobsully11 » Sat Aug 20, 2016 3:33 am

Question unclear. I haven't heard any comedians making jokes about your mom.

Magic H8 ball, why do fools fall in love?
  • 4

Crimson847 wrote:In other words, transgender-friendly privacy laws don't molest people, people molest people.

(Presumably, the only way to stop a bad guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law is a good guy with a transgender-friendly privacy law, and thus transgender-friendly privacy law rights need to be enshrined in the Constitution as well)
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby JamishT » Sat Aug 20, 2016 3:40 am

Matthew Notch wrote:You should vote to stay. That'll definitely make the difference. Good luck!

Magic H8 Ball, why are comedians choosing to take potshots at the world's largest, most stationary target with his own gravitational pull?


Because she is too easy...to hit. And yeah, she's still your mother.



Magic H8 Ball, where did the magic go?
  • 3

JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby NathanLoiselle » Sat Aug 20, 2016 5:27 pm

I don't know. But you're the one who lost it. You bastard.

Magic H8 Ball, how did the Amish man find his sister in the corn field?
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby KleinerKiller » Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:40 am

Bloody and decomposing beneath a shallow layer of soil, tangled up in the cornstalk roots, her attacker long gone.

Magic H8 Ball, where did the time go?
  • 2

"Your mind is software. Program it. Your body is a shell. Change it. Death is a disease. Cure it." - Eclipse Phase

NEW REVIEW! Judgment / Judge Eyes (2019)
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Re: Magic H8 Ball

Postby JamishT » Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:16 am

Into the dark hole that is your heart.


Magic H8 ball, if Jacob's feeding chickens, Jebadiah's feeding cows, what is Ezekiel doing?
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JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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