Awkward chat up lines

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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby starbellied » Tue Aug 25, 2015 12:36 am

are you from tennessee, cause I think your parents may have been cousins
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamishT » Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:28 am

Are you from West Virgina, because I'm pretty sure we're cousins and I wanna touch your butt.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Anglerphobe » Tue Aug 25, 2015 5:05 pm

Are you from Louisiana? Because, y'know, my ancestors, your ancestors. Kinda feel like I'm owed something.

(It's best to be black if you're going to try this one)
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"Tusser, they tell me, when thou wert alive,
Thou, teaching thrift, thyselfe couldst never thrive.
So, like the whetstone, many men are wont
To sharpen others, when themselves are blunt."

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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamishT » Tue Aug 25, 2015 5:27 pm

Hey girl, are you black or are you just so hot you charred yourself?
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JamishT was a heck of a guy,
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With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby cmsellers » Sat Oct 10, 2015 7:54 am

"How's about we play a game of 'Congress and Indians?' By the time you realize I've fucked you, I've already taken everything you own and either murdered you or dumped you out in the middle of nowhere."
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby JamishT » Sat Oct 10, 2015 8:24 am

Hey girl, I know we met like a while ago, but I'm just gonna Mark David Chapman you and take my shot now. Ono! Where are you going? Um, let's be like the Dakotas and get on top of each other? If love for you is like a pond, then I feel like I'm walking on thin ice? I'd like to take my limo into your courtyard if you know what I mean? Are you a Charter Arms .38 revolver, because you sure are special? Can I climb your stairs and spill some cassettes?


Joke Explained
If you didn't read the link, Chapman is the guy who killed John Lennon with four bullets to the back (but he took five shots, the first one missed). Thus, I give five Lennon death related pickup lines, delivered as the mythical lady walks away.
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JamishT was a heck of a guy,
With a devilish twinkle in his eye.
With his hand-picked flowers,
And his feel-good powers,
He made all the girls blush and sigh.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby cmsellers » Sat Oct 10, 2015 5:05 pm

Hey girl, yes I know I smell, feel, and even somewhat resemble a fish. So how about you make like a mob informant and sleep with me?
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby BROWNRECLUSE » Sun Oct 11, 2015 4:22 am

Hey baby, you wanna know why they put the "Brown" in BrownRecluse?
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Tesseracts wrote:In this age of falsehoods and lies, it's comforting to know some people are genuinely idiots.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby octoberpumpkin » Mon Oct 12, 2015 7:06 pm

The worst pickup line I ever had used on me was "I would **** you if you were my sister"

I can't think of some good ones but there are some that I've found cute. I think it really depends on if you like the person. If you don't it sounds stupid but if you do then it's funny. That explains why I laugh at all of my boyfriend's dumb jokes.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Matthew Notch » Fri Oct 30, 2015 10:03 pm

I would **** you if only you weren't my sister
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Anglerphobe » Fri Oct 30, 2015 10:12 pm

I bet you're as pretty on the inside as you are on the outside.
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"Tusser, they tell me, when thou wert alive,
Thou, teaching thrift, thyselfe couldst never thrive.
So, like the whetstone, many men are wont
To sharpen others, when themselves are blunt."

Anyone who has any kind of opinion fucking disgusts me.
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Revolving Royal » Thu Nov 05, 2015 12:58 am

Will you be the Renfield to my Dracula? *this works the best after watching your choice of romatic comedy
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"We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out" -Ray Bradbury

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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Matthew Notch » Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:14 am

I, uh, have a friend. Yeah, that's it. A friend, who really wants to tell you something. But he's too shy, so I will tell you for him. He's been watching you for a while, and he's really starting to like you. Just, I don't know, something about the things you say, the way you move, your smile, he loves your smile, he really wanted me to harp on that one. He likes that you're into some of the same stuff he's into, but he equally loves that sometimes you guys disagree on things, and even that you can get all worked up about it. He likes that for the most part you're pretty easygoing, because so many girls are drama queens these days, especially beautiful ones. That's another thing. You're one of the most beautiful women he's ever met. And looks aren't everything, but he's just really captivated by you. You're so honest and willing to speak your mind and don't really care what anyone thinks, or at least that's how it seems, but I bet secretly you're always wondering if you're doing it right, if people will like you more after whatever it is you're doing. And I just want to tell you that you don't have to worry, because my friend is pretty convinced now that there's basically nothing you can do wrong. He's really taken with you.

Anyway, my friend? This is his name.

Click here
His name...
  • 3

It's Dangerous to Go Alone


"I desperately want Jiggery Pokery now."-- Pikajew

"I do feel that if she happens to favour attractive, successful, intelligent men I will be at a disadvantage."--Anglerphobe

"I have a beautiful sphincter and Mexico is gonna pay for it."--Kate
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby cmsellers » Thu Nov 05, 2015 9:24 am

Who here likes magic?

Great. For my next trick, I'll make my virginity disappear. Who wants to be my lovely volunteer?
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Re: Awkward chat up lines

Postby Revolving Royal » Thu Nov 05, 2015 9:44 pm

Your skin looks so much smoother than the others!
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"We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out" -Ray Bradbury

I am not “full of hate” as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine. ~Internet Wiseman
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